I'm at the point in life where health issues start to crop up. Some friends and people who I went to school with have died already from cancer and various other things. I've developed a growing uneasiness about my own mortality. The knowledge that over half my life is over and that it's pretty much downhill all the way from here is something I'm struggling with.
The idea that I will cease to exist and the world will go on without me as if I never mattered at all...I feel a mix of anger, self pity, and fear. Mentally I want to block out the inevitable finality of it. I know it will happen, but I find myself searching for reasons why it won't - reincarnation, afterlife, etc. My NPD brain cannot accept that my destiny is a hole in the ground. I wish I believed in religion, I really do.
How do you guys feel about it?