How do other NPD feel about the prospect of dying?

I'm at the point in life where health issues start to crop up. Some friends and people who I went to school with have died already from cancer and various other things. I've developed a growing uneasiness about my own mortality. The knowledge that over half my life is over and that it's pretty much downhill all the way from here is something I'm struggling with.

The idea that I will cease to exist and the world will go on without me as if I never mattered at all...I feel a mix of anger, self pity, and fear. Mentally I want to block out the inevitable finality of it. I know it will happen, but I find myself searching for reasons why it won't - reincarnation, afterlife, etc. My NPD brain cannot accept that my destiny is a hole in the ground. I wish I believed in religion, I really do.

How do you guys feel about it?

I can't wait to be liberated.

I don't think you have to have NPD to pretty much think everything in the OP is a massive bummer. I don't have it and feel pretty much the same way. Really hate getting old and decrepit and dying but I don't seem to have much choice about it.

I tend to be a little depressed most of the times so the prospect of dying sounds intruiging sometimes. But I still want to see how certain topics develop and experience new things. So I think I will stay around.

1PolarBear wrote:I can't wait to be liberated.

I would say there's no need to wait. But to feel liberation would require an existence beyond death. Is that what you believe in?

Spaced wrote:

1PolarBear wrote:I can't wait to be liberated.

I would say there's no need to wait. But to feel liberation would require an existence beyond death. Is that what you believe in?

There is a need to wait because we all have an instinct of preservation, and on top of that, the means matter and the doctors refuse to help me out. So I have to wait it is legal if ever, otherwise wait to have a final disease.

I don't believe or disbelieve anything, I just want out, that's all. Hopefully before the world destroys itself.

1PolarBear wrote:I just want out, that's all. Hopefully before the world destroys itself.

I'm afraid something interesting will happen and I won't be around to see it happen.

Snaga wrote:

1PolarBear wrote:I just want out, that's all. Hopefully before the world destroys itself.

I'm afraid something interesting will happen and I won't be around to see it happen.

Right, well, it is a point of view.

Society destroying itself can be interesting to watch, but I feel guilty when I do even if I try to enjoy the show. But more importantly, I feel stress because you never know if they are coming for you next, or how, or when.

So I guess some people are anxious about death, I am more anxious about other people, so yeah, death seems liberating in comparison. Of course there is no right and wrong answer, at least I hope not.

1PolarBear wrote:Society destroying itself can be interesting to watch, but I feel guilty when I do even if I try to enjoy the show. But more importantly, I feel stress because you never know if they are coming for you next, or how, or when.

Well, I try not to think about things like that. Which isn't the same as ignorance, I just only have so much 'care' to give about things, including being a name on a list somewhere. There's always Hope- and if it evaporates, then maybe in another four generations it will push up tendrils. Of course, I won't be here for it. But nope I'd like to ride this Turning out and see what happens.

Im more scared to be reborn than to die.