Fear of the N injury

Hi all,
wondering if anyone else here shared this same "fear", like you have this subtle fear that others will detect or somehow figure out that you are an VN and are "easily wounded" (several people irl I suspect have detected this) and they will try to get a "reaction" or "Injury" out of you, like triggering a shame attack (VN/narcissistic defenses is a cover up for feelings of shame imo), and you are so hyper-anxious about having your grandiosity shattered/being humiliated (say horrible/invalidating things to you), and you know that others know your weakness, you can't fully like relax around others or something, could get thicker skin would be a solution, but anyway especially with those who you think or do actually know you have buried feelings of shame they will trigger you.

how do deal/do you relate.

Thank you for sharing, it's interesting question.

I was very shy in the past and afraid of any attack.

I see some directions to feel better:

1. Realise that not all people look for vulnerabilities. Learn how to identify them and avoid them or protect you from them through - for instance - be very polite and say nothing meaningful.

2. Learn to sort what you say and what you hide. Prepare a narrative for what you need to hide.

3. If possible, share your vulnerabilities with someone you can trust. Trust in the sense that they will not talk, that they will respect you.

4. Take care of yourself


I don't know if it helps.

I don't fear getting the injury as it's an excuse to rage and release frustration

Not really, if anything I think I would just deny it all together. I do think shame is an underlying emotion that is a factor in NPD but it’s usually covered up by other emotions like rage or contempt. Narcissist typically will jump through all sorts of mental hoops to not even justify the existence of shame or embarrassment.

The answer to dealing with it of course is to accept yourself for who you are and who you are not. It’s ok to have flaws, it’s ok to accept criticism and sometimes other people (other narcissist) will try to tear you down because they are insecure about themselves. You have to realize this is about them, their issues and has little to do with you.