Covert Narc Awareness

This is very difficult for me to share but for the last couple of months I have been severely depressed, I finally finished college and moved back to my home country where I hadn't been in years. Back home I practically have no friends, well I haven't really had a friend in forever. I think I am too good to socialize with people and hate doing so. But I feel extremely lonely. I don't have any plans of working or getting a job anytime soon because I think I am too good for it. All my life I have had a sense of entitlement and having a relatively well-off family didn't help. I have never had any long lasting, meaningful relationships or friendships. I have been thinking that I might be autistic but after researching narcissism; I am sure that I am a narcissist.

I don't care about anyone else, only what I can gain from that person.
I only associate with people that have a higher social or financial status compared to me.
I lead all conversation topics to a problem I have or I stay quiet.
I constantly fantasize about becoming successful or wealthy, getting revenge on an ex or someone that have wronged me.
If I don't constantly stimulate myself with alcohol, parties, or activities I get depressed.
I hate socializing but I also hate being alone.
My only personality is that I can blow money and ###$ hot girls with no personalities.
I get stages where I am obsessed with my looks and get to a point where I feel confident then I slip into depression again.
I have a major pornography and sex addiction.
People won't share anything negative about me or criticize me because they know I will drop them or lash out.

I don't even know how to socialize without alcohol or drugs. I can't hold a conversation that isn't about ######6 girls, material things, or overall show-off $#%^. I don't think I have ever had a normal friend that wasn't as ###$ up as me. My new friendships last for weeks at most, and they end when they realize I have nothing to offer, or have absolutely no personality or interests.

Anti-depressants don't really help, I am not sure how I can get better or at least act like I can care about other people. It sounds really ###$ up but, I do not want to use someone I just don't want to be this lonely anymore. I know if I continue I might end up taking my own life. I am living in hell.

I see people having meaningful connections with their friends that they have had for 10+ years, able to enjoy each others company just sitting around doing nothing. This all seems so pointless to me as they aren't doing anything meaningful, but neither am I.

How can I improve, I'm tired of my life.