Boundaries-Fantasy/Reality

I’m just curious if anyone else with a narcissistic or borderline disorder can get temporarily lost in fantasy? Probably the first thing I ever noticed in myself, well it was pointed out to me as you will soon see. I had a tendency to assimilate other people’s stories that I liked and start telling them as if they happened to me, it rose to the level that I believed that they actually did and had an entire mental image created for the event. This came to my attention when I told a story back to the person who originally told it to me and it took me a few minutes to work this out, I found this really sick and I was revolted by the fact I was doing that, like what the hell people must think about me. I have since stopped but this still bothers me to this day.

Hahaha..

Never done that. I've passed other people's good ideas off as my own though and got praised for it.

Yup. Used to do this unaware to myself.
until my then-girlfriend pointed it out to me after she caught me doing it to impress people. She really called me on my $#%^ and I remember being genuinely confused by it. As if I had no clue of doing so, it came as second nature to me. Almost like being aware that there was no real substance to myself so had to invent it there on the spot, just grasping on whatever someone else had taught me or someone’s story.

It’s a very odd thing. Quite vapid.

I wonder if there is a psychological term for this, if it’s a thing or if fantasy was just getting blurred in my mind.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs ... 2/acp.3130

So you actually use other people's life stories as if they're your own?

I can't say I've ever done this. I have poured glitter on my own life story to make it sound better though.

SelfSerf wrote:Yup. Used to do this unaware to myself.
until my then-girlfriend pointed it out to me after she caught me doing it to impress people. She really called me on my $#%^ and I remember being genuinely confused by it. As if I had no clue of doing so, it came as second nature to me. Almost like being aware that there was no real substance to myself so had to invent it there on the spot, just grasping on whatever someone else had taught me or someone’s story.

Frankly, if you can catch yourself doing this, congrats. People often don't realize but holding yourself accountable constitute a large chunk of the work toward recovering from Cluster B traits.

May I ask if you find it hard or easy to show gratitude when people have helped you?

Esmoke wrote:This came to my attention when I told a story back to the person who originally told it to me and it took me a few minutes to work this out, I found this really sick and I was revolted by the fact I was doing that, like what the hell people must think about me.

Congrats to you as well, Esmoke (first and foremost, actually, since you're the one daring to speak about it).

If you're not appropriating people's stories anymore, then you've learned a boundary. Hopefully, in time, you can forgive yourself and move on.

I don't know about you, but as far as I'm concerned, I have found guilt helpful in helping me correct some behaviors. Residual shame, not so much.

@OP

I've stolen other people's stories, but it's never been fantasy; I've always known that I was doing it for a reason. I occasionally do motivational speaking, and using some poor twat's sad story to get a point across as if it's my own can be very effective.

What you're describing sounds more like self-delusion.

I’m house hunting and I’ve talked about it in therapy and they made a comment something like I have a fantasy about what I am going to get and it doesn’t match reality so I’m going to continue to be disappointed but I know what a friend of mine got and what he paid in that area and It’s not a fantasy

Esmoke wrote:I’m house hunting and I’ve talked about it in therapy and they made a comment something like I have a fantasy about what I am going to get and it doesn’t match reality so I’m going to continue to be disappointed but I know what a friend of mine got and what he paid in that area and It’s not a fantasy

I guess the test is: did you take the house?