Lack of Remorse for Suicide

justonemoreperson wrote:People who "attempt" suicide, have not attempted suicide. If they really wanted to then they'd jump off a cliff.

There's no remorse, because the intention was to get attention. Objective achieved.

Not necessarily true. In my case I really did want to go through with it. I just didn't have the option of jumping off a cliff nor would that be my preferred method. I chose other methods. Hope that clears it up.

But I am aware of the many cases where people just want attention. I wasn't one of those.

I can't understand why remorse would even come into it.

Are you sure you heard your doctor correctly?

Manners73 wrote:I can't understand why remorse would even come into it.

Are you sure you heard your doctor correctly?

It's written on my file which I still have so yes...

The use of the word 'Remorse' in this context, to my mind reveals a religious prejudice, or biased judgement; is ignorant and unfair, especially in the field of psychiatry.

KenSurvivorofHell wrote:
I just didn't have the option of jumping off a cliff nor would that be my preferred method. I chose other methods. Hope that clears it up.

Not really, no. Not sure why a "preferred method" is relevant. Preference indicates a consideration of consequence. As there would be no consequence for anyone killing themselves, the only consideration should be that it works. Jumping off a cliff / tall building etc would pretty much guarantee a "successful" outcome. Unless you live in the middle of the Utah salt lakes with no transport.

Not necessarily true.

No, but in any practical sense it probably is true.

It may sound pedantic, but recognising that an attempt is done for reasons other than the obvious is a useful starting point.

Your defence indicates that you have some level of self- respect; that you don't want to be misunderstood or misrepresented. You don't seem to be in that place now, so it was a fleeting notion and one, I'm guessing, you're glad had failed.

No remorse over a genuine attempt seems to indicate a form of nihilism, and yet here you are, discussing your condition and considering how to improve it. If you're not here to improve your lot, then what is your motivation for being here?

Given that narcissists are generally attention seeking, I think it's a valid option to explore.

It would make sense to me if it was the last thing I’d ever do I would want to go about it in my own terms. I wouldn’t set myself on fire for example because I’d be burned beyond recognition and I would not want to die in terror or horrendous pain. Drug overdose probably

I’ve had quite a few fantasies where I died performing a heroic deed. That would be nice if I could choose anything

Maybe he meant remorse for failing.

From the survival stories I've heard or read of at least, mostly about people with some form of depression, plenty of people seemed to actually want to die at the time, then after they actually tried to do it and saw the impact it had for themselves did a 180. Some people just didn't think it through and wouldn't do it again knowing what they know now that they have.

KenSurvivorofHell wrote:To answer you all I am asking since I tried t commit suicide once. The doctors in charge of me in the psych ward wrote on my file that I tried to commit suicide but "showed no remorse afterwards" which struck me as something odd. As though they expected for there to be some form of remorse for the act!

That's why I ask if it's associated with certain PDs at all or if it's normal.

It's an honest question nothing more nothing less.

If this is the only reason you think you might have a PD I wouldn't worry about it. Why don't you ask your psych why they wrote it and what it meant? That might clear up some of the confusion.

DaturaInnoxia wrote:It's almost like a reverse form of abuse

What??

justonemoreperson wrote:Given that narcissists are generally attention seeking, I think it's a valid option to explore.

And you know that since ... that's the reason you're here?

Akuma wrote:I think if you ever tried to kill yourself you know that you have other things on your mind than feeling bad for others.
I find this question insulting.

Not feeling bad for others, in the context of NPD, is sort of the default state. Trying to kill yourself won't alter that neither in a bad nor a good way.

Akuma wrote:Since this is not the first time you ask, yes it has. There have been prolonged periods where it was much worse when the Mods all fell asleep and when it was much better when there were moderators around who had a certain background knowledge and had set up standard policies to deal with different kinds of posts. Obviously atm theres no dedicated moderator here, so more problems are to be expected.
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I wonder who you are referring to by "Moderators who had a certain background knowledge and had set up standard policies to deal with different kind of posts" ?

All I remember are moderators who gaslighted members on family & relationship forums while at the same time partook in the systematic gratuitous bullying of newcomers here (or rite of passage if you feel euphemistically inclined).

You perhaps knew how to pull their strings? Hats off to you, but, surely you must also know, at least on some rational level, that not all enablers=good and not all people who challenge you=bad.

ViniStonemoss wrote:What??

ViniStonemoss wrote:All I remember are moderators who gaslighted members on family & relationship forums while at the same time partook in the systematic gratuitous bullying of newcomers here (or rite of passage if you feel euphemistically inclined).

First of all, well gosh, don't I feel silly!
I thought being gaslit was just part of the experience of interacting with the PDs on this website
- some just get more exceptional doses (like Shaolin did).

It'll be interesting to look deeper into the family/relationship forums, though.
I saw him give typical "girl-talk" responses which can be enabling - or a good intro to pillow fights at slumber parties - l'll have to browse further.

While learning that the individual participated with everyone else in "systematic gratuitous bullying of newcomers here" is by no means surprising, I haven't been around the NPD subforum to witness these dynamics.

Anyways, to answer your "what," I've noticed through the threads, there are a lot of people (for its activity level) coming here to complain about or being insulting of the PD.
I think I've complained before, myself.

Again, haven't been around long, but I've seen people in this subforum being relatively well behaved here these last couple months while others come here to complain or insult.

I've watched mods not do anything about it and members be expected sit to with it, yet if people here went and posted in a trauma or abuse group as they do here, they would be shut down immediately. 

That in my mind is a double standard which I called "reverse abuse"

You'll notice that, in my question I connected to it, addressed by Akuma, I only noticed then that there's no active mod - which I'm sure I contributed to by continuing to be pissy towards them.

Realizing that no one is actively moderating this place clears up that it's not really that much of a double standard after all.

My motives for my comments, were that if people ever want to use this subforum as a place conducive to improvements / working on goals, having people coming in and antagonizing of the PD isn't an effective or encouraging environment for it.

Admittedly, my choice to use the word "abuse" and reaction to this specific post may have been more of an over reaction to the implied morality of suicide in combination with the other (what I felt were) double-standard complaining posts.

Suicide is not a matter of morality or selfish disregard - or harming others, yet the connotations associated with "lack of remorse" in Cluster Bs (and those PDs in general) are exactly that. I was irritated.

While on the topic, I'll add that not only is this not the place to complain about people with NPD, it is not a place people experiencing abuse or maltreatment from this PD to seek support either.

That other guy trapped with a that family member doing weird things with his remotes to mind ###$ him - and he comes here to seek emotional support for it - out of all the support on this website; here. The way I was with him, is the least of his worries. Also, if people come here vulnerable while diagnosis shopping, they make take the comments here seriously - and go act on them.
My asshole-ness is doing them a favor.

I keep intending on going back to attempting a "live and let live" way of being (because it's a goal in my general life too - same with minding my business), but it's slow going.