Empathy is narcissism

justonemoreperson wrote:I've always relied on the empathy of others to be able to get myself out trouble

Did you rely on your parents empathy to get you out of trouble?

ViniStonemoss wrote:

justonemoreperson wrote:I've always relied on the empathy of others to be able to get myself out trouble

Did you rely on your parents empathy to get you out of trouble?

Constantly. However, it was their empathy, based on how they would expect someone to react, not what was actually happening in my head. They taught me what people expected and how they reacted to it, so I learned what behaviour gained empathy.

justonemoreperson wrote:Constantly. However, it was their empathy, based on how they would expect someone to react, not what was actually happening in my head. They taught me what people expected and how they reacted to it, so I learned what behaviour gained empathy.

Do you mean like Dexter? Where his father teach him how to thrive among people that would otherwise lock him up?

Not really. Dexter's character was taught by his father to channel his issues into some moral framework. On a TV show that works, but in a practical sense, I don't think any parent would ever trust someone with no innate conscience that it's ok if you follow the rules.

My parents spent their time trying to teach me to be different; to try to be like other people. The violence, sexual promiscuous, destructive nature and general failure to consider anyone else led them to despair at times.

What they taught me was a by-product of that; in that I eventually came to realise that x + y = z and so I built a framework for myself over time. So, I guess they did teach me, but it wasn't their conscious intent.

It's not something you learn and move on with; it's something you learn and constantly fight with internally. The knowledge of what you should do standing against the wave of impulsive need and testosterone.

Every day I'd like to throw it all away, cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war, but where's the future in that? So, smoke weed, ride my motorbike, go shoot something...anything to settle Jomp down back in his box.

justonemoreperson wrote:What they taught me was a by-product of that; in that I eventually came to realise that x + y = z and so I built a framework for myself over time. So, I guess they did teach me, but it wasn't their conscious intent.

What a weird childhood...

Do you think whatever they try to teach you was motivated by their idea of morality or appropriateness?

justonemoreperson wrote:Every day I'd like to throw it all away, cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war, but where's the future in that?

In the past, when you let slip the dogs of war, did you succeed in eliminating all the discomfort?

ViniStonemoss wrote:Do you think whatever they try to teach you was motivated by their idea of morality or appropriateness?

They were middle-class parents, brought up to be Christians. They wanted me to fit the image. I think they wanted me to succeed, but I also think I caused them significant embarrassment.

In the past, when you let slip the dogs of war, did you succeed in eliminating all the discomfort?

Yes.

justonemoreperson wrote:Yes.

Why didn't you go out in the blaze of glory, what makes it worth it

cinnamoncookie wrote:

justonemoreperson wrote:Yes.

Why didn't you go out in the blaze of glory, what makes it worth it

Because it's not a "blaze of glory" outside of TV and movies. It's losing another job and being poor. It's having bailiffs turning up on your doorstep. It's having people not help you, because you treat them like garbage. Blowing cash and not paying your bills.

Not sure what part of that is a blaze of glory, but it's frustrating and boring. The worst part is that you're being controlled by something else; a condition.

justonemoreperson wrote:Because it's not a "blaze of glory"

Well excuse me Mr. Dogs of War.

What I'm basically hearing is that you've been bullied into submission by society, but they didn't force you to have a family, for example. So there must be something appealing you to make you go beyond staying out of others' ways. If there is I would like to know what.

Self Edit;