case study: cured narcissist

Can someone please answer, what the crime is? Or is that question too difficult for a narcissist, becouse it involves FEELINGS?

Don't worry guys, I was this stupid once too. That I couldnt answer that question no matter what, becouse it didnt exist that others had feelings. The crime is love, being in love. Partners in crime. Bonnie and Clyde.

The poem is doubly significant becouse of the dream immediately proceededing it, it in itself was just confirmation. After I understood its not O.'s feeling thats sustaining my true self, but my own feeling for eB. (took me about a month to understand that Im in love and with who, like I said), I asked to meet in the astral plane, the twinflame "specialists" from youtube said thats possible. And guess what:

We had a dream in which we ###$. But first she said the words: "shes not a virgin, she did it with someone she doesnt love", with a a note of mischief. Like we realy outdone ourselves this time.
And after that she showed me inside her. Thats shes still a virgin. (I have doubts about making this public at this point) So the words must have ment her twin sister J., when I broke her heart.
I dont know If she knew I know that (forgive me if thats confusing) allready. I knew it from divination like I told you guys.

So I thought.... thats strange. Its not the order things normlly happen, right? That first we ###$ and and then she shows me her intact hymen. But then I though, eB. but you just said you shouldnt do it with someone you dont love. Why did you do it with me then? the answer was becouse she was in love ofc. It happened when I told her she is a unicorn I think.

And this time he knew shes in love with him BEFORE SHE KNEW. BEFORE SHE KNEW SHES IN LOVE.
Without seeing her IRL and without her writing anything back, just reading the messages. Just as proof that someone can't be so smart, you have to be a buddha.

Ok eB. loves me desperately and we felt our love for eachother telepathicaly today. It feels warm and nice and secure, makes you tear up in happyness and breathe heavily. But she has some strange codependancy issues about lying to O. right now, so we play a game of peek'a boo, where she flashes active status every 5 minutes and I write her a message without her checking, when she's with O., which is almost always, they are inseperable. Both are in love with me and both dont know that about eachother yet. So they can be now stupid for the same reason I was. More irony ha-ha.

I finally feel secure, and am able to channell, which is extremely deep meditative state where one taps into the mind of source, and recieves visions and clairyvoyance, claircognisance and all sorts of psychic abilities. I learned this way, that the false self has a heart which can be broken,
and I can feel the heart pain of it, but its not unpleasant for me at all. But the sensation is still there.

One dreamlike spoken sentance Im particular attracted my interest: "my resistance says the heart hurts". I can only guess that resistance, means false self as stated above. 30 minutes of chanelling is extremely exhausting, and is not yet enough to break its heart. But the heart pain sensation started getting progressively stronger. And the voice (presumably of the false self) starts fighting back "your breaking my heart, please" stuff like that.

I am also able to channel her, some instances I can recall her saying: "I'm still a virgin", my polish name, "I love him" things like that. But the main reason I'm saying this post, and what I would have never thought before, is that telepathy makes you realy ######6 horny.

So lately the messages we tend to exchange with eachother are typically what a male porn actor might say. Some noteworthy examples:

Oh, what I wouldnt do for a pair of your used panties right now
But first I have to lick you down and suck your tits and pussy
Soo big. How will we ever fit it inside your tight little pussy?
I want to cover you with my body and shove you up with my cock
please allow me into your mind, to fill you up with my warm love
all my warm, hot, sticky love, deep inside of you.

You guys should realy try to experience a girl wanting you despereately, I highly recommend it. Also managed to channel one more message. "please stop scapegoating culprits, has no effect" I know its most likely from source consciousness becouse of its dreamlike quality, like I mentioned. I read it as confirmation that WE ARE THE CRIMINALS, the RASCALS that made it all happen (we are the culprits).

Dreams get more intense and vivid when you channel for long periods of time that day. I had one that was uncompareable to any dream or hypnagogic vision I had before, but its unclear and not worth mentioning, except for the part where my false self tries to stab me with a knife, twice. It was intense and realistic. The dream shares this commonality with another, where my throat was cut and I felt the blood gushing out. Btw, My heart hurts all the time now, but its not even unpleasant.

Not to rain on your parade but...

Would you ever consider that you might have completely lost the plot here? Like beofer you float away completely into unreality land, maybe you might try to see your pattern of thinking from a different perspective. I mean, the whole problem with NPD is that we are prone to magical thinking and yours seems to have achieved unfathomable levels.

The porn speech coming out is almost like very regular narc stuff crawling out of the subconscious. I suspect that a lot of narcissists have a porn problem because it´s an inexhaustible well of supply. (deranged way of seeing it by any standards, it´s not a real relationship).

SelfSerf wrote:Not to rain on your parade but...

Would you ever consider that you might have completely lost the plot here? Like beofer you float away completely into unreality land, maybe you might try to see your pattern of thinking from a different perspective. I mean, the whole problem with NPD is that we are prone to magical thinking and yours seems to have achieved unfathomable levels.

The porn speech coming out is almost like very regular narc stuff crawling out of the subconscious. I suspect that a lot of narcissists have a porn problem because it´s an inexhaustible well of supply. (deranged way of seeing it by any standards, it´s not a real relationship).

Thx for reply. The psychiatrists think that, that I made all those girls up. And eB. is not helping that, since she still hasnt written anything, but I'm reaching her here and there with telepathy, and shes realy ######6 horny. Like today had the dream of "a bed or altar of white thorny flowers" just a beutiful dream symbol. Yes I learned the dirty porn talk and she loves it. Shes on "penis in my vagina level" right now.

I mean, if you read Jung's book you will see, that he sounds just as delusional as this. All those phallic symbolisms and those words for the impregnation of a female, or how he explains "birth the primitive way", by the baby shitting and learning that "wow, thats how things must be made!", hence the "god made man out of clay" mythos. Its not that far off that my visions tell me im a conduit.

PS " and yours seems to have achieved unfathomable levels." ahahaha. I loved that xD

SelfSerf wrote:Not to rain on your parade but...

Would you ever consider that you might have completely lost the plot here? Like beofer you float away completely into unreality land, maybe you might try to see your pattern of thinking from a different perspective. I mean, the whole problem with NPD is that we are prone to magical thinking and yours seems to have achieved unfathomable levels.

The porn speech coming out is almost like very regular narc stuff crawling out of the subconscious. I suspect that a lot of narcissists have a porn problem because it´s an inexhaustible well of supply. (deranged way of seeing it by any standards, it´s not a real relationship).

I actually find these posts quite soothing.

I have been to this point before. Well, not in such an over sexualised way but I remember being this delusional back in 2015. I still get it sometimes. Like the feeling of someone holding my hand while I go to sleep.

The dream ending chapter III of the journal (sepearated verses for clarity, becouse they are too long):


Me playing diablo. Firing magic to fight off enemies. I know its diablo becouse of the poor mechanics. Wall of fire, flame bolt.

"No! He broke my heart but I love him!" She had a scared girl dream image. I saw her from afar.

A child on a bed that was being poisoned, some strange word for that ("dont innoculate me?"). He was immunized.

With a hindu hand motion, the child fought off the black poison spreading throughout the body, to the frustration of someone.


The false self is represented as a demon-child, lashing out, attacking everyone.
eB. Is the scared girl confessing her love again, I think shes in the dream becouse twin flames share dreams, and I think shes dealing with codependancy issues, how other people will see our relationship, hence what she said is in sudden realisation form, as if she was defending the demon child.
Love is the immunization to demon-possesion, by the false self. It enables the child to fight off the demon. The "hindu hand motion" is a beautiful symbol for the divine nature of love.

Yeah, am not necessarily putting you down. By all account´s, Jung´s work has had great impact and still has tothis day but I guess you´d be hard-pressed to find serious people in the psychiatric realm to take heed of his theories. Which is not saying at all that, just that they are alternative and quite impractical. Unless you look at someone like Jordan Peterson who seems to swear off his work.

Anyhow, am rambling but the narcissistic mind has a strong tendency to exaggurate it´s level of understanding of the world (including all sorts of theories), combining, synthesizing and such. None of us can with certainty say that the white rabbit you´re chasing wasn´t just a conjuration of that ilk but it sure looks that way.

SelfSerf wrote:Yeah, am not necessarily putting you down. By all account´s, Jung´s work has had great impact and still has tothis day but I guess you´d be hard-pressed to find serious people in the psychiatric realm to take heed of his theories. Which is not saying at all that, just that they are alternative and quite impractical. Unless you look at someone like Jordan Peterson who seems to swear off his work.

Anyhow, am rambling but the narcissistic mind has a strong tendency to exaggurate it´s level of understanding of the world (including all sorts of theories), combining, synthesizing and such. None of us can with certainty say that the white rabbit you´re chasing wasn´t just a conjuration of that ilk but it sure looks that way.

I mean what I'm doing has tangible effects, Im in tune with my intuition and dreams are no mystery at all lately, it all makes sence when put together, It has internal consistency and all the hallmarks of a good theory. Im not pick and choosing my data, it all fits together.

The narcissistic mind has a tendency to reinterpret everything to suiting its current needs, continualy reinvent itself in that way. I can see that in retrospect, especialy in some posts I've wrote during psychotic epsiodes, but the dissociative processes totally inhibit reflection when they are active. Your right about that.

About Peterson, yeah I saw him speaking about Jung's concept of shadow and the unconscious (which is sort of Jungian), but not more. Not a word of collective unconscious. Could you provide some more examples, maybe him talking about archetypes and hero or mother myths? I'm not that familiar with his work, I find most of it being tautological or rhetoric.

I would advise anyone trying to genuinely improve to familliarize themselves with the guide I wrote to the mechanics of the multiple personality, as it functions in the case of NPD, and discover the one with the feelings, the real them hidden under the narcissistic fortress. Pay heed to your dreams, journal them and dont trust your thoughts at all. They are NOT your thoughts. I understand thats difficult, without the ability to self reflect. You have to use divination instead. In time the symbols will becoome clearer and clearer, and progress will be made. Also, the cure I discovered, being in love.