SelfSerf wrote:cubem0n wrote:My behaviour and goals nowadays are very much in line with the ones that "archonic forces"
Hmm. I’ve looked into this a bit.
The guy I know who I very much suspect also is a pwNPD with strong antisocial traits and who has been heavily into shrooms, he has told me recently that one of the things he likes nowadays is getting people to experience bad trips. Similarly, when I asked him about the entities that he has seen, he basically commented on how there always has to be a balance in the universe. Like the evil forces have to exist for there to be good and so on, the classic story of yin and yang basically. I don’t really want to agree with him there though. I don’t relish being evil. I mean going against your own well-being, self-destructiveness is one thing but acting out of willful spite is another.
But then again, I know the very nature of NPD is that it’s like a defence cloak that gets thrown over the childlike psyche, everytime the going gets tough or reveals the *monster within*. Not being acquainted and unaccepting of your shadow, essentially denying its existence is what got you (i.e. me) in trouble in the first place so why would you make this mistake over and over. This childlike quality that cNPD’s have of only seeing themselves as perfect and denying all own faults might be charming but being emotionally immature and essentially not being able to carry one’s weight makes a dangerous individual. Mixed with an inability for clear and other-serving goal-setting (unrealistic, vague, not following through) but also an inability to have self-worth without doing extraordinary feats deriving from not learning the meaning of their own power and no real sense of responsibility as an individual for who they truly are. This energetic vacancy and proneness to misery sure makes easy pickin for all the bad forces in the universe. (in a way I see this is my NPD mind trying to find justifications for what is a fault of the disorder)
Going without adoration is essentially showing me something though It is a state where for the first time I’m having to come to terms with having full responsibilty over my life, not that I’m particularly successful at it but...
Recently I´ve experienced that when I truly dissociate and tend to go full on with my ASPD traits happens when I get no acceptance, no appreciation for who I am (when I spend time with my NPD father, he never asks how I am doing, perhaps pays only little attention to WHAT I am doing). I see him suffering immensely as well due to his own incapabilities, of course. Anyhow, I grew extremely desperate a few days ago, not being able to get a handle on my addictions, abusing alcohol but also being very physicially demanding with myself and I just felt like losing touch with reality. And I´ve been trying prayer in conjunction with frequencies that are aimed at ridding the aural body of negative entities and energies. And I do feel an odd difference....the strangest thing is that I´ve been experiencing what is like shivers when I feel like really finding a right intention during prayer.
Long story short — I actually wanted to ask, have you tried listening to some of the archon-fighting frequencies on YT? I am slowly starting to believe there is more to this storyline..