I think I'm discarding my son

Short of spraying cold water on his face in the morning...ummm, he's gonna have a wakeup call when his boss fires him for being late reporting for his job? And how will that look on his job record?

It's a good thing that your son has chosen to take a "tolerance break" from weed, but the withdrawal symptoms can kick in some days/weeks later, if he doesn't recognize them for what they are. Hopefully the break is long enough for him to recognize the problems that weed usage presents and maintain abstinence long enough to learn about and assert some mastery over his own issues, whatever they may be.

Hi Spaced,

Anyway, latest is that he's taking a month off weed for what he called a tolerance break. I mean it's not a permanent quit but it's better than nothing. I really hope he makes it, and I'm looking forward to seeing if it has a positive effect on his attitude and behaviour.

That sounds good news!

I can't control my son's life and put him on a better path than the one he's on at the moment.

I think this is difficult to all parents.


I've been thinking.

Sometime teenagers (or young adults) look lazy but they struggle inside. Expectations are very high, from society, from parents sometimes, from oneself...

It seems to me that you are clearing yours :

I don't have expectations of success at this point, I just want him to get out of ######6 bed without having to be woken up before he's late for work again, you know?

It seems to me that very clear expectations like this one (be said or not) are easier to handle than "i want you to succeed in life".

Sometime, with teenagers (or young adults), having low amount of expectations, and very practical, is good.


And besides, they make their choices, they fail, they recover...


It's good that you are there for him.

How is he going with staying off the weed so far?
It's great he is so honest with you, to admit it's just a tolerance break. That shows a definite positive to your relationship with him and your parenting, he feels he can be honest with you with his true motives of temporarily quitting, so to speak. It also shows he's keeping his smoking somewhat in check which is good to see. Rather than just smoking more and more. He's showing you that he is trying to have more control over his life I think with this break.

Even as an adult I still can't be honest with my mother about things I know will make her see me as a troubled failure. Just me enjoying a couple glasses of wine some evenings to her deems me as a raging alcoholic, so good on you for still making your son feel ok with being honest about what he is up to.