Mastering Narcissism 101 - Welcome to the Game

I experienced severe narcissistic injury which caused me to spiral into a state of depression and anxiety rendering me both physically and mentally exhausted for an extended period of time. I spent countless hours ruminating and processing the extreme rage and subsequent shame within myself for having to accept I had no control over the situation and reconciling such. I resorted to a degree of isolation, albeit I have a successful relationship from a woman I love and adore who stuck by my side when I did not even recognize myself. I am not formally diagnosed but I am certain that I identify with clinical symptoms. I don’t see a need to seek diagnosis from a therapist because I believe myself capable to understand npd and change facets of myself where necessary to improve myself.

I knew I would be with this woman when I met her at my first job when I was 16, I am now 22 and living the life I laid out for us years ago. I attend a top tier University, I have held prestigious internships, etc. I don’t say this to be bragadocious, more so because of a recent understanding of the condition and managing it. I have realized that extended states of misery are a choice. Having your self-image shattered to the point where you no longer feel like your former self leaves you with two options: dwell on the past and remain stagnant or recreate your false-self.

I don’t believe npd is a disorder per say, it’s an adaptation. I was not abused as a child, however, I had a very domineering mother and faced persistent criticism. I am a perfectionist as a result of my past. I am very insecure, but I am also very confident. I see infinite potential within life and I truly believe with npd that I must see through that perceptual lens, or perspective rather with which I see the world in order to achieve a life of any underlying meaning. I have accomplished all that I have because it was the only option in my head. Therefore, I am a direct product of my thoughts and there is certainly pride in that respect that I hold very dear to who I see myself as.

The way you treat others is a choice. Love is possible. To say otherwise simply means you are weak and not in control over your life. Therefore, you are shackled to what you call a disorder and subsequently a poor victim. I know this because I have felt the negative emotions at my very core. What is the point?

The answer is that there is no point to self-destructive behavior as a result of core shame. We are all human, our modus operandi stems from underlying motivations to secure food, shelter, safety, etc. For those of you familiar, Maslow’s hiearchy. I do not care if shame is my internal driver because I will succeed so long as I accept that as my reality. Take a look at the average individual, are they driven by anything, if at all considering 2/3’s of the population in America are obese, lazy, and making minimum wage?

No. I love myself but I see myself for what I am. I am the master of my destiny.

50% of marriages end in divorce - So what’s to say you’re destined to a solitary life of meaningless relationships? I laugh at that notion, learn how to develop empathy and resonate with others. It doesn’t matter if it’s artificial. Learn what a woman wants, set your boundaries to avoid core shame, and build your relationship. That is your securitized supply. If you’re too stupid to learn to be in a committed relationship, you’re a fool who succumbs to a false belief that you cannot be satisfied. I used to think I needed more, but the reality is, you are bored and need to derive additional supply from an alternative sphere. Whether that be career-oriented, philanthropic, etc.

There are levels to narcissism that no one talks about. The time that conversation begins is now.

This would be a more interesting post if you were diagnosed with NPD but you’re not... so it’s possible you don’t have a disorder. The very definition of a personality disorder is it is a pervasive pattern that doesn’t change and affects all area of your life. By definition you don’t have a personality disorder because it isn’t affecting all areas of your life. Maybe you suffer from depression. It would be similar to me going on the schizophrenia forum and telling them that the voices they hear aren’t real and they should just ignore them.

Appreciate your response, but you’re a fool if you think I spent the time writing this post without substantial reasoning to believe I am narcissistic. The very premise of self awareness is possessing an understanding on the way your mind functions on a consistent basis. It is quite possible you are a couple standard deviations beneath me with respect to IQ so you require an affirming diagnosis rather than making inferences on your own. Some require handholding, others do not. Nonetheless, I appreciate your insightful response.

Edit: I’ll play nice... You don’t understand the very basics on how a personality disorder is diagnosed. You are not qualified to diagnose yourself. Maybe you are delusional?

Arguing with you is such a bore. Yes, I’m familiar with formerly recognized DSM-5 criteria and the fact npd is genetic within my family genealogy. That is sufficient enough to substantiate preponderance of evidence regardless of formal recognition. You get caught up with minute details rather than deducing any relative value from my post and it is a false project of intelligence to compensate for your inadequacies.. As for playing nice, it’s in your best interest, I will singlehandedly tear every argument of yours to shred and embarrass you beyond repair on this forum.

You're only 22 years old...what a lifetime of trials ahead of you.

It's delusional to self-diagnose and to think you can absolve yourself of all your probs with your own self-diagnosis. Is that truly an objective, outside point-of-view? No, it's not, it's part and parcel of a disorder, whatever that may be. And it may not even be NPD, for that matter.

You ain't lived your life yet, sorry. Skeptic? oh yeah, baby.

I’m really not trying to argue with you and if I came across as rude that wasn’t my intention. Your 22 your doing well in your marriage which is great maybe you have NPD maybe not but don’t you think it’s a tad disrespectful to come on here and say you’ve mastered narcissism and people who have been struggling with the illness longer than you’ve been alive are somehow not trying hard enough? I don’t really have anything more to add

I could care less what anyone thinks about Narcissism. All I know is that I am in love with the person I see in the mirror.