Hunter or prey?

Eight wrote:but in healthy competition and mutual dependence towards bettering each other - that is bliss. And it fosters the growth of both people.

That's how I would see it as well.

Kimera wrote:But you do have some cluster B's in your dating past.....how did that come about? Were you pursued? Was this cat and mouse game at all apparent, either at the time or in reflecting back?

Not Really.

The girl with dissocial personality disorder was someone I met at college when I was 17. It was mostly a sexual arrangement. She sought out me and I was happy to oblige. She did try ‘making me work for it’ once and got told to stop playing silly buggers for her troubles.

The girl with BPD I met during my first year at uni. Tbh she was more of the depressive/dependent type of borderline. She wasn’t particularly interested in me to begin with so I guess I chased her in a gentle but persistent way, I gave up at the end of October (we met in September) I was with a few girls in the interim and it was the Lithuanian guy who had the room in halls across from mine who pointed out she was still interested around christmas. Because our halls were next to each other and she was part of the same proto-social group as me we used to walk back together. One night I asked if she wanted to come up, but it didn’t go anywhere. Tried the same thing again, I said something nice to her and she kissed me, at which point it was sort of assumed we were in a relationship. She said she wanted to wait a month before we had sex proper, but ended up getting drunk and mounting me after a couple of weeks.

Personally I’m not sure someone could play the push/pull cat and mouse stuff with me. If I feel like I’m being messed around I ask what the the hell they are playing at. If someone says or indicates negative, I’m not going to press my suit. It’s just not the way I was raised and we would both be diminished by it.

You've reminded me of an amusing (disturbing?) dynamic between Sparkly and my cat. My cat's personality is polar opposite to mine. He's immediately best buds with whoever walks through the door, and the moment you sit down, he's in your lap purring loudly. Sparkly not only didn't appreciate my cat's affection, he thought my cat disliked him intensely and was snuggling with him deliberately to keep him away from me. He believed he was in competition with my cat

Cats are tricky. If you aren’t a cat person (which I’m not) they can be difficult to read. But that does sound like paranoia.

I actually have a dog who does this, occasionally. Kissing or stroking someone and they sometimes comes over and do the “don’t love her, love MEEE!” routine, which involves 30 Kg of sheepdog trying to be a lap dog.

Quoth wrote:which involves 30 Kg of sheepdog trying to be a lap dog

cute.

Quoth wrote:I actually have a dog who does this, occasionally. Kissing or stroking someone and they sometimes comes over and do the “don’t love her, love MEEE!” routine, which involves 30 Kg of sheepdog trying to be a lap dog.

Sheepdogs are charming. Big dogs can make me a little wary because of an unfortunate incident with a German shepherd when I was about 5. But sheepdogs are just pure love.

My friend has a big ol’ yellow lab that I’m sure outweighs me and insists on sitting on my feet with his full weight every time I visit. I have to bribe him with food to let me up.

I know I’m off topic....

The dark void thread got me wanting to talk about something happy.

I had a pit bull who was basically a lap dog. He also used to get bullied my Maine coon cat. That cat knew no fear at all, he was so fat he started eating out of the dog bowl instead of jumping up on the counter for the cat food.

Time for the dog to set some boundaries