Fantasies of success, power, and perfect love

Do you have these types of fantasies, if so what types do you have? I’m not diagnosed but in therapy now to try and get some answers but I suspect I’m either NPD ASPD or a combination of both disorders. I have fantasies about success, being a hall of fame running back or a ceo of a Fortune 500 co. Independently wealthy from investing etc. The biggest doozy of all was I had a reaccuring one where I was an old man still jacked and tan sitting on top of a mountain above the clouds alone because there was no room for anyone else to sit, looking down on the rest of the world completely detached from life. I admit that one is pretty bizarre but what can I do. Just curious if anyone else has these and if so what are some examples?

ZombieZ wrote:The biggest doozy of all was I had a reaccuring one where I was an old man still jacked and tan sitting on top of a mountain above the clouds alone because there was no room for anyone else to sit, looking down on the rest of the world completely detached from life.

Sorry I read this and the melody to Fool On The Hill spontaneously started playing in my head. But I assume this fantasy is you in your god-like form.

ZombieZ wrote:Do you have these types of fantasies, if so what types do you have?

I don't think I have grandiose fantasies, I'm more focused on delivering results -- but I've overestimated my abilities at times and crashed. That's gotten a lot better with awareness. I've somehow managed to be fairly successful in my field despite my miscalculations. And I wouldn't want to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I'd rather be the behind-the-scenes mastermind telling him how to think and what to say. That's more my style.

Kimera wrote:

ZombieZ wrote:The biggest doozy of all was I had a reaccuring one where I was an old man still jacked and tan sitting on top of a mountain above the clouds alone because there was no room for anyone else to sit, looking down on the rest of the world completely detached from life.

Sorry I read this and the melody to Fool On The Hill spontaneously started playing in my head. But I assume this fantasy is you in your god-like form.

ZombieZ wrote:Do you have these types of fantasies, if so what types do you have?

I don't think I have grandiose fantasies, I'm more focused on delivering results -- but I've overestimated my abilities at times and crashed. That's gotten a lot better with awareness. I've somehow managed to be fairly successful in my field despite my miscalculations. And I wouldn't want to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I'd rather be the behind-the-scenes mastermind telling him how to think and what to say. That's more my style.

I don’t know what the hell that one is about to be honest.

ZombieZ wrote:I don’t know what the hell that one is about to be honest.

What do you mean, Zombie?

The old man fantasy

Ah. Fool on the hill is an old Beatles song.

Is success more important to you, or power? Could you see yourself as successful without power?

They both go hand in hand. I’m more interested in the success that comes with the power than I am the control. How about you?

It's not power I'm interested in as much as influence. I don't need to lead the company, but I need tangible evidence that I'm shaping thought and dialogue. It's a need that I constantly have to fill (my supply, if you will). If I don't feel like I'm being noticed, I can start heading down a dark path quickly. Wish that weren't the case.....

My definition of success is having both influence and financial independence. I grew up with next to nothing, and saw my mother struggling to make ends meet because she didn't have the skills or drive to stand on her own two feet. I didn't have a lot of respect for the situation she found herself in, which she blamed entirely on my dad (who left her for another woman). She couldn't see how the choices she made in her life contributed. I've made a life's work out of landing in a better place.

Kimera wrote:I grew up with next to nothing, and saw my mother struggling to make ends meet because she didn't have the skills or drive to stand on her own two feet. I didn't have a lot of respect for the situation she found herself in, which she blamed entirely on my dad (who left her for another woman). She couldn't see how the choices she made in her life contributed. I've made a life's work out of landing in a better place.

Glad to see you back, Kimera.

I had a similar situation but was lucky enough my mother had a career on her own. Not really sure what would happen if she didn't. A lesson I don't plan on forgetting, things don't last and never depend on anyone financially, it's the worst kind of humiliation.

Shanzeeq? That you?