Sex

Second to that and in response to Kimera, finding out who somebody is in real life needn't be nefarious even if it does feel like a violation. Sometimes it's done out of curiosity. Following the crumbs, putting together the pieces, and getting to know that person further than you could through what they choose to show here can be satisfying.

It's the threat of 'exposing' them unfairly so to sabotage them either online or in their lives that can be a little worrying, especially with real-life ramifications. I don't agree that the act of following and getting to know is necessarily bad though. I've found a few people and never exposed. Just curious about what matches against what is written and projected on this board and what that means for their psychology when paired against what we see elsewhere.

Probably that reasoning is irrelevant when assessing whether you would like to volunteer information to allow someone to do so. The idea was about intention though and so I offer that as a counter to the idea that he was necessarily trying to do something bad with whatever he discovered. Of course, you're using 'dox' to mean expose publicly we've used it more loosely to mean 'find' on the forum

It's hard for me to see it that way, Contrast. Posters here have an expectation of anonymity, it's part of the PF social contract. Anyone who is making an effort to undermine that contract will be perceived to be a threat. The intent isn't as relevant as the act itself.

I agree that the practice by itself is threatening and undesirable under those conditions for those who care for their anonymity. Of course. I just don't think that describing it as anything other than threatening is correct. I may have misunderstood but it seemed like you'd said he was going to use those details maliciously when we cant say that without substantiating.

Not sure I like the social contract as a concept but perhaps it works better here than in the antisocial subforum where it's unwritten that anything goes between us and it's the moderators who arbitrate when caught. Taking that contract idea further, it's why Hobbes insisted on Tyranny being essential in a state of rational moral agents, since no contract's obligations being fulfilled could ever be expected otherwise.

To be honest, there are far too many assumptions here on my part because the 'rules' are different over there given the nature of the condition

Eight, may I ask what prompted your absence from the other sub where you were most active on the forum in the past?

Contrast wrote:I may have misunderstood but it seemed like you'd said he was going to use those details maliciously when we cant say that without substantiating.

Yeah, I think I implied that. Perhaps I'm more paranoid than the average bear, but if someone is acting counter to my expressed will, in this case a desire for anonymity, I'm not going to withhold judgment to analyze their motives. I'm going to assume ill intent.

Contrast wrote:Not sure I like the social contract as a concept but perhaps it works better here than in the antisocial subforum where it's unwritten that anything goes between us and it's the moderators who arbitrate when caught.

So doxing is ok amongst ASPD posters?

Contrast wrote:To be honest, there are far too many assumptions here on my part because the 'rules' are different over there given the nature of the condition

Well, if by over here you mean NPD forum....there aren't enough narcs posting here regularly to make or break the rules. Just myself and Akuma, and whoever from ASPD comes over to talk to us.

Yeah, so I have been seeing this woman nothing serious yet but we’ve been talking more lately about personal things and I can’t get over how similar we are. It’s actually really spooky to be honest, she asks me today if I was falling in love with her and love is too strong of a word but whatever it is I had an epiphany out of the blue when she said that, there was a pause for 5seconds and I realized it was more likely I was falling in love with myself, or rather the parts of me that I see in her. After the revulsion passed I decided that’s pretty sick. Hi my name is Z and wth!!

Sex has been pretty amazing though

Okay isn't the word I'd use. There just isn't a culture of imagining it's off limits, first because nobody expects the courtesy off others, and secondly because nobody themselves is inclined to restrain themselves when given the opportunity.

Assuming antisocial orientations, at least. We could argue about who actually posts over there. Lol

Contrast wrote:Eight, may I ask what prompted your absence from the other sub where you were most active on the forum in the past?

Yes, though what this has to do with sex, I don't know. Guess there's an AsPD OT slopover effect now in NPD.

It started when my husband asked me recently why I continued to participate there. He pointed out that he, more than me, fit there but he'd long ago tired of the place and found it pretty useless for what he's doing with his life these years. That struck me.

Then naps asked me a similar thing. And so did two other people from other forums w/o AsPD issues.

Then I got an email from someone who is dx'd AsPD but who left the forum a long time ago and is doing pretty well in their life. I found that I felt a bit.... um, embarrassed?... to say that I still participated. If they didn't, and if my husband didn't, why was I there?

I realized that I didn't have a good answer. Not really. Not any answer that satisfied me.
I know that people remain there because of the games that are played, but I'm not involved with that.
"Guess who I am (new alt)" and "I want to kill so bad" and the behind the scenes plotting stuff of "How can we mess with him/her?" gets old.
So, why?

I think it had just become a habit more than anything. A place to go to waste a bit of time.
Plus I found that I was getting combative with Reaper. With Reaper. That told me a lot.
So I left. Not entirely. I'll probably participate a bit if there's anything I have to say.

ZombieZ wrote:Hi my name is Z and wth!!

Are you trying to be on topic, Z? That ship sailed awhile ago.

In love with yourself, are you? You're definitely in the right place.

And, hey, at least sex with her frees up a hand.

Contrast wrote: There just isn't a culture of imagining it's off limits, first because nobody expects the courtesy off others, and secondly because nobody themselves is inclined to restrain themselves when given the opportunity.

I get it.

Contrast wrote:We could argue about who actually posts over there.

I get that, too.

Does that mean you're still hawking over the subforum, Eight? The way you mentioned participating if you see anything just made me wonder-- Is that really any better, besides maybe allowing your ego some breathing room by being able to say you don't participate?

Related to this subforum but still not related to this thread (I'm getting there!), two dxed NPD members who (used to) frequent that subforum still read it on a daily basis without posting. I think because, in the same way, it embarrasses them to be associated with and engaged in the petty nonsense that goes on. They cant pull themselves away though. No less shameful since the investment is still the same, in my opinion.

In any case, Eight, you're missed-- and you're missing out on all my progress. Jomp had to take on a patriarch role for me after you left a vacancy there

-- Fri May 11, 2018 10:33 pm --

I completely glossed over the fact that I sympathise with you. Just got caught on a detail and forgot to mention it