Do you tell Nons you have NPD?/Diagnosis Questions

Akuma wrote:

Mumatthebeach wrote:Indeed! I still don’t get why we can’t be honest with our therapists. But there you are, another complicated relationship. It’s like therapists only want to deal with healthy people and sit around having coffee. I bought my therapist cake when she dumped me. Might as well have a civil break-up! Or I was trying to make her feel bad for dumping me. I’m actually not sure.

I dont know or understand this problem at all. I'm going to therapy to feel better at some point, its essential to be honest.

Does this happen a lot? I would like to think a therapist would be the one person you could really tell what’s going on.

Does this happen a lot? I would like to think a therapist would be the one person you could really tell what’s going on.[/quote]

In my experience, yes, therapists are people too and they carry their own stuff into sessions. I read somewhere that pw/NPD make the best therapists because they don’t connect emotionally with the client.

Mumatthebeach wrote:In my experience, yes, therapists are people too and they carry their own stuff into sessions. I read somewhere that pw/NPD make the best therapists because they don’t connect emotionally with the client.

I hope this isnt too cheeky to say, but if after 10 years of therapy you still dont realize that "all therapists wanting to date me" is you projecting, then you might have missed a lot of opportunities to make the most important stuff a topic in therapy, which might be the reason it hasnt worked optimally.
My psychoanalyst - eventhough this isnt true for a pwNPD in teh first year[s] - called a psychodynamic/-analytic therapy a training-relationship. You basically get another person to find out about your [pathological] reactions and associations. That will create anxieties, boredom, anger, embarrassment, frustration, paranoia etc. of course, because thats exactly what its supposed to do. But you can't move away from what you are and from your delusions [or "borderline psychosis"] if you dont actually do move.

Good point! I’ve been dumped by each and every therapist without explanation so there we are - me projecting and not knowing the truth. I’m going to try to stick with one - if they will stick with me. And it was not a full ten years - just therapy sessions here and there until I got dumped!

If you have more problems with the delusional part, maybe you can try finding a MBT therapist. Apparently MBT and SFT are the longterm-therapies of choice at the moment for getting rid of BPD. And MBT might be especially useful to address the problems with empathy and understanding other people that you have spoken about a while ago.

Mumatthebeach wrote: I bought my therapist cake when she dumped me. Might as well have a civil break-up! Or I was trying to make her feel bad for dumping me. I’m actually not sure.

Here's one reason why your past relationships with therapists haven't gone anywhere. If you'd have chosen to talk with your therapist about just this, you might have learned a lot about yourself.

Mumatthebeach wrote:In my experience, yes, therapists are people too and they carry their own stuff into sessions.

That's true. And good therapists have their own therapists to deal with that stuff.

I read somewhere that pw/NPD make the best therapists because they don’t connect emotionally with the client.

I wouldn't agree with that.

Akuma wrote:I hope this isnt too cheeky to say, but if after 10 years of therapy you still dont realize that "all therapists wanting to date me" is you projecting, then you might have missed a lot of opportunities to make the most important stuff a topic in therapy, which might be the reason it hasnt worked optimally.

So true. It takes both parties working to have results. I wonder why so many people think it is the job of the therapist to work, and for the client to just 'receive'.

Akuma wrote:You basically get another person to find out about your [pathological] reactions and associations. That will create anxieties, boredom, anger, embarrassment, frustration, paranoia etc. of course, because thats exactly what its supposed to do. But you can't move away from what you are and from your delusions [or "borderline psychosis"] if you dont actually do move.

There's 'the work', right there.