Other PD and NPD Relationship support

Hebi wrote:Thanks for sharing. I don’t think OP was lookin for a reply from you though, sorry.

-- Wed Nov 29, 2017 3:24 pm --

Well hello @Hebi, why am I not surprised you wouldn't turn down an opportunity to shame .... Actually, I suspect the OP was very gratified to have someone resuscitate her post from the cold depths of Helhiem that @Midwinter had relegated her .... She is BPD after all, and desperate for insight I am sure like all of us with BPD are and a relief from the angst of the symptoms that overwhelm. I was just applying a bit of CPR to an iconic topic that continues to weave its way through the BPD and NPD forums....

Hebi wrote:Be careful Midwinter Biggirl’s favorite pastimes include; mailing evidence of infidelity to her SO’s house for his wife to see, texting long, manipulative messages to her exes after they move on, and arguing with strangers on the internet for replying to her posts. She also enjoys emotional projection, and telling you what to do while also telling you that you are abusive and paternalistic for “telling her what to do.”

@Hebi I have really pushed your buttons haven't I? I guess my pointedly articulate and cuttingly elegant prose has elicited it's desired response. LOL NOTED.... I have neither pride nor shame for my behaviour, just strive to present the facts as openly and honestly as I can and thank you for highlighting them here as it gives further insight for the OP with respect to NPD/BPD relationships.... She is not alone in her struggle and experiences in this particular dynamic, things can escalate rapidly and not in a good way as I have experienced.

dazn153 wrote:I was involved with a BPD woman. I am diagnosed NPD. She may be diagnosed herself, but never stated it, but having met many BPD people through my therapy sessions, I can conclude that she was BPD.

BPD + NPD dance is powerful. I would recommend reading this: http://gettinbetter.com/dance.html

You can potentially ruin his life, money, and more. If you want to be a better person, I would avoid this relationship. If you want to "YOLO" it and destroy his family and pass on toxicity to the next generation in which the dance repeats itself with potential suicide, etc., then by all means, go ahead. It's your life.

I have a great deal of skepticism about that blog by that particular author. I generally find her presentation with respect to persons with personalities disorder callous and lacking in a compassionate approach for the those with such.

Having said that, I believe that as @Midwinter indicated in his flippant response to my needling post that ultimately the pwBPD will be the one to feel and process the devastation and emotional fallout from the relationship. Having said that, @Hebi in her callous presentation of my sins has inadvertently shown that the pwBPD when pushed to psychotic rage, will act out indiscriminately without the slightest regard for image, law or what anyone else thinks in order to enact the destruction we feel imperative in the moment. So @Midwinter was correct in his assessment, but so was @Hebi in presenting mine as in the end, the pwBPD will wipe the floor with an pwNPD's ass in destroying their facade because our emotional peak will send us over the edge without regard for any boundaries if the rage is big enough. But neither party wins, and ultimately the pwBPD will mostly feel the pain of that encounter that will resonate through her psyche in guilt and angst and longing for some time.... the pwNPD? not so much.... discard and move along.

shanzeek wrote:@biggirlscry, I like the subtlety of colour and meaning in your signature.

-- Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:26 am --

beesknees wrote: Is it possible that the seemingly self aware conversations are just more NPD lies so that he can stay married and still have me?

I think you answered your own question.

Thank you for noting! I live by the philosophy that more IS more and why dance in the dark when you can dance on the bar in front of hundreds of people under a spotlight?..... just sayin'

Biggirlscry wrote:

dazn153 wrote:I was involved with a BPD woman. I am diagnosed NPD. She may be diagnosed herself, but never stated it, but having met many BPD people through my therapy sessions, I can conclude that she was BPD.

BPD + NPD dance is powerful. I would recommend reading this: http://gettinbetter.com/dance.html

You can potentially ruin his life, money, and more. If you want to be a better person, I would avoid this relationship. If you want to "YOLO" it and destroy his family and pass on toxicity to the next generation in which the dance repeats itself with potential suicide, etc., then by all means, go ahead. It's your life.

I have a great deal of skepticism about that blog by that particular author. I generally find her presentation with respect to persons with personalities disorder callous and lacking in a compassionate approach for the those with such.

Having said that, I believe that as @Midwinter indicated in his flippant response to my needling post that ultimately the pwBPD will be the one to feel and process the devastation and emotional fallout from the relationship. Having said that, @Hebi in her callous presentation of my sins has inadvertently shown that the pwBPD when pushed to psychotic rage, will act out indiscriminately without the slightest regard for image, law or what anyone else thinks in order to enact the destruction we feel imperative in the moment. So @Midwinter was correct in his assessment, but so was @Hebi in presenting mine as in the end, the pwBPD will wipe the floor with an pwNPD's ass in destroying their facade because our emotional peak will send us over the edge without regard for any boundaries if the rage is big enough. But neither party wins, and ultimately the pwBPD will mostly feel the pain of that encounter that will resonate through her psyche in guilt and angst and longing for some time.... the pwNPD? not so much.... discard and move along.

Good points. What course of action will you follow?

dazn153 wrote:Good points. What course of action will you follow?

Honestly, I don't know.... at the moment my emotional attachment is such that I need to resolve and process and get over that obsessive attachment before I can be fully involved and engaged with another. That is just how I am... and other BPD woman may be able to segue to other relationships with ease.... I can't. And so I suffer emotional heartache until time has passed enough that I don't. So at the moment? I am not actively engaging in any dating, however I am pursuing exploring being a rope bottom for BDSM rope play. My relationships all contain a D/s S/m dynamic which are necessary for me to want to engage. The rope bottom activity is in the context of a public rope salon forum, where there is a degree of emotional distance due to being in public while receiving the sadomasochistic physical release that comes with the play. I am compensating at the moment until such a time.... what can I say....

Biggirlscry wrote:
Having said that, I believe that as @Midwinter indicated in his flippant response to my needling post that ultimately the pwBPD will be the one to feel and process the devastation and emotional fallout from the relationship. Having said that, @Hebi in her callous presentation of my sins has inadvertently shown that the pwBPD when pushed to psychotic rage, will act out indiscriminately without the slightest regard for image, law or what anyone else thinks in order to enact the destruction we feel imperative in the moment. So @Midwinter was correct in his assessment, but so was @Hebi in presenting mine as in the end, the pwBPD will wipe the floor with an pwNPD's ass in destroying their facade because our emotional peak will send us over the edge without regard for any boundaries if the rage is big enough. But neither party wins, and ultimately the pwBPD will mostly feel the pain of that encounter that will resonate through her psyche in guilt and angst and longing for some time.... the pwNPD? not so much.... discard and move along.

It's hard to discern through the excruciating melodrama, but I'll take this as a compliment. I do pride myself on my callousness and psychotic rage, after all. Other than that, all I heard was, Hebi is kind of badass. Your "pointedly articulate and cuttingly elegant prose" has definitely elicited a response you can be proud of, its not every day I find a poster worth such ridicule that I mock your theatrical nature and phrases to my bf. I've really grown attached to how annoying you are.

Hebi wrote:[
It's hard to discern through the excruciating melodrama, but I'll take this as a compliment. I do pride myself on my callousness and psychotic rage, after all. Other than that, all I heard was, Hebi is kind of badass. Your "pointedly articulate and cuttingly elegant prose" has definitely elicited a response you can be proud of, its not every day I find a poster worth such ridicule that I mock your theatrical nature and phrases to my bf. I've really grown attached to how annoying you are.

Oh my.... you so flatter me.... and here I preen with the guise of a Drama Queen on Ecstasy that you should think so. Yes Yes Yes!!!.... I am Drama personafied to 11.... ( for those that get the joke.....)
I am proud of my theatrics and cultivate that with the verve of a zealot..... I am impressed that someone so rigidly uptight and self-righteously ignorant should have recognized it.... Congratulations.... you aren't a complete a$$hole....

Biggirlscry wrote:

Hebi wrote:[
It's hard to discern through the excruciating melodrama, but I'll take this as a compliment. I do pride myself on my callousness and psychotic rage, after all. Other than that, all I heard was, Hebi is kind of badass. Your "pointedly articulate and cuttingly elegant prose" has definitely elicited a response you can be proud of, its not every day I find a poster worth such ridicule that I mock your theatrical nature and phrases to my bf. I've really grown attached to how annoying you are.

Oh my.... you so flatter me.... and here I preen with the guise of a Drama Queen on Ecstasy that you should think so. Yes Yes Yes!!!.... I am Drama personafied to 11.... ( for those that get the joke.....)
I am proud of my theatrics and cultivate that with the verve of a zealot..... I am impressed that someone so rigidly uptight and self-righteously ignorant should have recognized it.... Congratulations.... you aren't a complete a$$hole....

How are you meeting these folks? Dating apps? In-person? Friends? I have horrible experiences using dating apps b/c you have no foundation of "friendship" beforehand. With BPD symptoms, this leads to extreme paranoia, etc. versus if you've known the person for some time (even a few months as a friend), it reduces the paranoia/psychosis.

Biggirlscry wrote:@ Midwinter LOL.... I would be greatly disappointed if you didn't. That D/s sadomasochistic dynamic is essential for the attraction and the explosive sex, and precisely why I like it so much ....

Sure, I like it as well, let's go

dazn153 wrote:
How are you meeting these folks? Dating apps? In-person? Friends? I have horrible experiences using dating apps b/c you have no foundation of "friendship" beforehand. With BPD symptoms, this leads to extreme paranoia, etc. versus if you've known the person for some time (even a few months as a friend), it reduces the paranoia/psychosis.

She meets them in.... *insert over dramatic thespian voice* THE THEATRE!!

Or FetLife maybe, if I run into her I’ll do more than just tie her up