What are you listening to?

big Anatoly wrote:I once played in a shoegaze band... I can remember fantastical shows in bars and fests even, truly staring at my shoes manipulating my multitude of pedals for a while, yet having an aggressive and foreboding stage presence. It too had some odd jazz and punk aspects, I'd like to play with those boys again although they all have drifted, fools they are, but good music men. Playing music brings a good quality attention towards one, if they play well and look very interesting. I like when people look at me, and oh the applause and grand comments at night time funs...

I would think being a musician in a band would be the ultimate in narcissistic supply. So many groupies, easy sex, free drinks, applause.

You are very correct, and those things happened and gratified me fantastically, although I wouldn't certainly say ultimate, perhaps, damnit I cant think of a good word for runner up.
Those people go home at night, and it's spectacular in the moment it isn't very endearing. Unless doing a short one or two state tour or the like, we played only a few shows a month. Those people go home at the end of the night or leave in the morning... sometimes the whole thing was quite depressing, somehow. And rehearsals were vicious! I think down in the cellar with 3 other players some of my poorest interpersonal traits really came to light, but after we could snap open some cheap wine and have a smoke together, so nobody stayed mad.

big Anatoly wrote:You are very correct, and those things happened and gratified me fantastically, although I wouldn't certainly say ultimate, perhaps, damnit I cant think of a good word for runner up.
Those people go home at night, and it's spectacular in the moment it isn't very endearing. Unless doing a short one or two state tour or the like, we played only a few shows a month. Those people go home at the end of the night or leave in the morning... sometimes the whole thing was quite depressing, somehow. And rehearsals were vicious! I think down in the cellar with 3 other players some of my poorest interpersonal traits really came to light, but after we could snap open some cheap wine and have a smoke together, so nobody stayed mad.

Yeah, I would find a stream of one nights stands to be empty and depressing. Interesting you did, too. You must like longer term supply, then?

Incontestably.
But it's that much harder to acquire and maintain. Supply is a odd word and hard for me to quantify, but whatever it is, (I will refrain from monologuing/rambling, thinking what exactly is it) it is drug like. Lately I've only gotten short whips of this sustenance, admiration, veneration, and it makes me want much more. One fantasizes about it so frequently. The greater the longevity, I will usually become more haughty, nearing hypomania.

Quit hijacking my thread with narc chit chat and post some tunes

Kimera wrote:Quit hijacking my thread with narc chit chat and post some tunes

Here's some Velvet Underground
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwzaifhSw2c

and

Pink Floyd (Mother)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBkTUzKAiXQ
Haven't listened to these band in years.

big Anatoly wrote:Incontestably.
But it's that much harder to acquire and maintain. Supply is a odd word and hard for me to quantify, but whatever it is, (I will refrain from monologuing/rambling, thinking what exactly is it) it is drug like. Lately I've only gotten short whips of this sustenance, admiration, veneration, and it makes me want much more. One fantasizes about it so frequently. The greater the longevity, I will usually become more haughty, nearing hypomania.

After all of the energy invested in a companion, are you ever bummed out that your behavior destroys the relationship or have you detached/become bored at that point?

Kimera wrote:Quit hijacking my thread with narc chit chat and post some tunes

Youtube won't load. Problems reported on Down Detector:

http://downdetector.com/status/youtube

Google ruined YT. Fvckers.

shanzeek wrote:Hahaha, I honestly feel a bit physically strange after listening to this, as if it's about to trigger a panic attack in me. I do like listening to experimental stuff.
Does this song (is it a song? a dj set? I don't know? ) elicit any reaction in you, what kind of? It makes me feel a bit disoriented.

Yea it creates a sort of meditative or dissociative quality. It seems Akita has described the same thing in some interview, where he apparently stated that he creates these sonic walls as a means to block out stimuli - or something.

Be warned my musical taste is dreadful

ohGr
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nJGy_73agWI
Which is reminding me of blink-182 for some reason

Richard Thompson - Beeswing
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HApy-Xoix-g