Kimera wrote:Is that a thing? There are some people who might suggest that all of NPD is antagonistic.
Perhaps those people are antagonistic themselves.
To be fair NPD is characteristically antagonistic. But to see the entire manifestation of the disorder that way I think is a mistake.Kimera wrote:Empathy, whichway?
I know... how dare I suggest that pwNPD might be able to have empathy.
Kimera wrote:This would be a challenge. I genuinely don't care why they aren't doing what they're suppose to be doing - UNLESS - they proactively bring concerns / roadblocks to my attention, in which case I will jump though hoops to help them (but someone who is proactive and vocal in raising concerns is unlikely to trigger annoyance in me because they "get it" -- it's the ones who DON'T do this that kill me).
I believe you when you say you genuinely don't care. I imagine you're concerned with how their incompetence will reflect on you. And you're probably pissed off that you're doing everything you can to help and they're screwing up and making you look bad.
So maybe the first step is to manage how you feel about the whole situation - after you take that pause that I suggested. It would involve challenging any thoughts that you "look bad" because of their actions. It might involve "trying on" that they're doing their best and really do want to please you and do a good job overall.
Just throwing out ideas. I'm sure a lot of pwNPD get tripped up on/angry over this kind of scenario.
Kimera wrote:Also if I've sense that they're slow on the uptake I've already taken extra time with them, making sure they know what's expected and even crafting a detailed plan forward. It's their failure to perform despite my investment in them that triggers the annoyance.
Just reading this over it sounds like you want them to work like machines. I do x they do z. Cut and dry with no room for error. I understand that when it comes to business the demands unfortunately often encourage work to look like this. But humans inevitably ###$ things up.
I know that you are doing everything you can to keep that from happening. You're investing a lot of yourself into them, as you said. I wonder if you invested less if you wouldn't feel so impatient about their inability to perform as expected?
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