Narcissism has a cure

I think cure can only happen if a narc gets self aware and totally understands that he is totally a fool while his life is still repairable. I think then, one can develop a normal personality. I could develop it but the 8 years.in narcissism (5 in depersonalization) was too much and my life chances and relationships are ruined.

SamGabor wrote:I think cure can only happen if a narc gets self aware and totally understands that he is totally a fool while his life is still repairable. I think then, one can develop a normal personality. I could develop it but the 8 years.in narcissism (5 in depersonalization) was too much and my life chances and relationships are ruined.

Winston Churchill once said, "Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened."

You should be proud of that you weren't afraid to take the elevator ride to the basement -- to fully accept your faulty sense of self. I agree with you, the cure is culling the hubris, which can feel like total annihilation.

But, Winston also said "Of this I am quite sure, that if we open a quarrel between the past and the present, we shall find that we have lost the future." At some point you have to be aware that placing too much value on those 8 years is narcissistic too. It's elevating your worth by making the loss something larger than it needs to be. Which reminds me of Winston again: "The maxim ‘Nothing avails but perfection’ may be spelt shorter: ‘Paralysis.’"

It's a difficult balance between bringing yourself back to earth, finding humility while loving yourself and your potential. If you don't fully process what you've learned about yourself, you risk "hurrying off" (and continuing self-defeating behaviors). But, if you sit at the grave forever.... it's not much different than Narcissus at the pond.

Eight years may look like a lot at your age. But, it could have been a lot worse. Try to forgive yourself (without justifying or minimizing the traits and their source.).

That was a good analysis of what that guy went through in therapy. It reminds me a lot of the 5 stages of grieving--denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Maybe his 4 stages are one version of that same phenomenon. After all, it is a sort of grieving when you realize what has happened to your true self. You have to grieve that lost child but this might come out as anger, fear or denial until you either accept you have lost your true self or are able to retrieve and rehabilitate it.

I don't know if it happens in this same order for everyone though. I didn't experience much anger--my first reaction was fear/horror and then grief/depression. Maybe anger will come later for me.

narcissism is not to know how to deal with limitations with love and compassion

and choosing delusion, lies

to use love and compassion we can just choose it

but here is a blockage cause of the heart chakra that might be the enemy

in this days, culture and ignroance leads people to view others as extensions of themselves, for example, a parent that attachs to the received self esteem, comfort that having a children gives sometimes, start to view the child badly, as part of themselves. this closes the heart chakra simply
but is the trigger to muych more problems the child start viewing his friends as his self-esteem, comfort and viewing himself as other people semlf-esteem , happiness, then he is always playing a praise-rejection game, with a very developed sense of shame. afraid of stop being their self esteem, happiness, because it would mean abandonment from their perspective. the demands are imense

narcissism is still adiction to delusion , i would say one can become non-narcissisitcal without opening the heart chakra

one can choose empath, and feel the aversion of what empath brings over their delusions of self-image(yeh you feel things that make you nvulnerable)

obs : notice how i talk, im self deluded myself but that is only because i was thninking about wearing high heels, it could be the perfect way to talk about narcissism
a delusion that makes you blind to your fears ,shame limits

that is how a lot of women feel when they wear high heels

narcissisim is the sheel, to the knowledge about their own limitations that can be miserable ( deep sense of shame that must come from some very distorced thinking pattern i believe)

just like being coward to stop being loved in a praise-rejection conditional way, as part of others.

shame do need to be faced, not as a thing to win, but a thing to avoid escaping from

shame do arise, and if you have aversion to that, you will certainly go narcissist , hehe

look, we all love othersw in a ego way

because we use them as food (im using myself as exemple, sometimes i act unloving, im not loving you guys it is like im feeding me on avoid not doing what i discovered)

if we act in unloving way, we are just trying to get some food

to our own perceptions that are desirable from our own perspective

then, listen to me, i know, lies are the enemy of knowledge

if you lie to yourself, or to others by aNY mean, be it physical

you will go fool and etc

of course always consider the possibilty im abusing you with some selfiishness, but if sometimes selfishness is driven by fear, i apologyze, that im somehow too fearful to post without being fearful

but anyway, stay away, i advise, stay away from viewing others as extensions of yourself by any reason
and you will discover happiness and peace

sometimes i view others as extensions of myself, because im too afraid

learn to love yourself if the problem is heart chakra

for an addicted, even it they get a good life, they will still be additec unless they take the mental sacrifice that it takes, that is brief if they understand addiction is a choice of the mind, caused by some escapism or attachment to relief
they were always msierable all this time, but failed to recognize it was only a drug
and an addiction

but whaait.. i now call narcissism a disorder of sacral chakra, it is the home of addiction, shame and feelings of unatractiviness and relationship problems
any of them can lead to another
some narcissist is just indulgent in their emotions(sacral chakra) creating all kinds of addiction

look, my speech and post is driven by fear, is a form of ego, in a more complex way, i am using this as food... it is a very big threat to the hart chakra

but now , dont view myself as an exemple, im someone who is for some reason trying to share

the cure is somwhere in this topic

i believe , it is only a matter of stop telling yourself lies, and be willed to aceppt fear and shame
, you are addicted, if you act without logic and awareness, you are definely addicted

please listen . we can not stop the addiction if we keep using the drug. what is your drug? indulgence? pride?

this is my last post guys, if i stop to think im grateful to those who posted, im pretty sure the posts made things develop in a way that wouldnt be if no one cared about my topic and posted discouraging commentaries
well,,, i shouldnt be desilusive about my own potencial, because i know, things are impermanent and i used from the power of my perseverance, not from a self to find the cure.

i still get on addiction, but if i dont do crimes as viewing others as part of myself as i explained, im loving in this way, the delusion is a compassionate thing that wants to make people share from this happiness

i dont want this informations to get ignored. if you find something big, dont be a coward liar like me and you will want to share

every instant we are a different person so.. if narcissism is lack of empath, i do lack empath in this posts but it is because it is harsh to be to empathetic when im sharing harsh things. it is contraditory
to want to control people to discover good things you think they are not to discover if they ignore you and to have empath lol

1- open heart chakra

2- work on sacral chakra (aceptance of you and others0

3- feel vulnerable to feel shame and fear when it arises because it does

this last post was kind manipulative guys..

i was addicted

overbearing is also a form of abuse

im sorry for being offensive (controlling)

delusion easily gets implanted in our minds

my tip is if act selfishly, it creates bad karma and cause others harm

i think i feel the forum world is an unfriendly, unloving world but that doesnt have to be with my abusive actions

love is the way out of narcissism, not egoic love but self-love and compassion that makes you courageous

courage is the way out of fear

since narcissism is the addiction to relief of fear and shame, if you stop narcissism, you will still feel fear and shame if sucessful
the way to cure that is to reflect on the causes, you might feel unloved and hated

Ladywith3cats wrote:That was a good analysis of what that guy went through in therapy. It reminds me a lot of the 5 stages of grieving--denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Maybe his 4 stages are one version of that same phenomenon. After all, it is a sort of grieving when you realize what has happened to your true self. You have to grieve that lost child but this might come out as anger, fear or denial until you either accept you have lost your true self or are able to retrieve and rehabilitate it.

I don't know if it happens in this same order for everyone though. I didn't experience much anger--my first reaction was fear/horror and then grief/depression. Maybe anger will come later for me.

I agree with pretty much everything you're saying here. Filled me with joy.

there are meds for npd?
depression?
anxiety?

once again the cure is vulnerability
the naked battle with out your armor or weapon called npd

memme23 wrote:i think i feel the forum world is an unfriendly, unloving world but that doesnt have to be with my abusive actions

I didn't think you did anything wrong, but you're right that forums make it easy to be someone we want to be (or to express maladaptive behaviors like gaslighting, trolling, passive aggression). This forum's not bad because you kind of know what people suffer from and what might animate their behavior. I think of it as "group therapy." Nobody's marching in lockstep. People can say what they want (until it's oppressive/abusive). It's up to you (each individual) to separate the wheat from the chaff (their own, and others').

I think you have a good point about NPD having a core essence which can be described as spiritual. The core seems to be existential like that. It's not just a "bad habit," but "who I am." The maladaptive "who I am" behavior creates an existence very tied to "karma" (reaping what you sow; doing more of the same; developing an "investment" in the maladaptive "who I am"). Undoing it, getting to the core, peeling the onion, etc. feels spiritual. Very much a discovery of "good force" versus "bad force."

Even the peeling process can become maladaptive. I remember one of the hardest things for me to deal with was that I couldn't even trust myself. That's a reason to see a therapist. But, my whole life was based upon not trusting anyone except myself. So.... when I realized I couldn't trust myself, it was like the ultimate betrayal. The thought of trusting anyone else didn't cross my mind. But, that's the logical route to take.

the cure to narcissism is to accept yourself, accept others, accept new experiences. it is how you open the sacral chakra. spoiling is a way to be abusive, im sorry i used to be a spoiler. or manipulate to make you spoil me. i have changed my values and it was simply my values but i do think as a friend i was spoiler all my posts were wrong, but somehow they were informative to balance the sacral chaka is the way to open the sacral chakra and stop being a narcissist , it is done with help of the change of our values ( ego- abuse- all things)