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A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

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Re: A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

Postby Philonoe » Sun May 24, 2015 1:51 pm

Thank you for sharing about your journey. I didn't read all the blog, I just wanted to comment this little sentence in your signature :
Doc Dx: "Labels aren't really helpful, but yes - you meet all of the diagnostic criteria for NPD"

So what : he doesn't like labels and he labels you :shock: ?
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Re: A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

Postby VioletAasA » Sun May 24, 2015 3:31 pm

Livinginmyhead wrote: I love you all - and hope that you to find freedom.



Just my thoughts to the OP if he ever gets interested to read what the 'I love you all' members have to say.

I think this is what puts the You in isolation: me vs all of you on this site with a flavour of superiority. You don't see individuals here, just a mass that you address.

This is peer support forum, and you are not coming as a peer but rather as a messiah and to promote your journey and your truth as the only truth. Now, thinking of that, maybe Messiah was a narcissist too.

This is the phase in your life , perhaps the next one will be humbleness and ability to relate?

With all said above, I am not negative to your journey. This is your journey and I respect that.

I with you well on your journey.
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Re: A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

Postby TheLord » Sun May 24, 2015 4:33 pm

TTL
I dont mean not self aware by uncured. You can be self aware still not cured.

Most will not agree that there is any cure in the first place. How can there be a cure if it was not invented by the almighty N.

The only time there will be a cure, it will be when it was invented by the almighty N himself. I dont say this to offend you, I am sayingbthis based on my experience on the forum and in life.
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Re: A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

Postby NimplyDinply » Sun May 24, 2015 5:43 pm

TheLord wrote:TTL
I dont mean not self aware by uncured. You can be self aware still not cured.

Most will not agree that there is any cure in the first place. How can there be a cure if it was not invented by the almighty N.

The only time there will be a cure, it will be when it was invented by the almighty N himself. I dont say this to offend you, I am sayingbthis based on my experience on the forum and in life.


IMO there is nothing to "cure". Narcissism is healthy and adaptive. The biggest problem with NPD (imo) is the dysregulation of self-esteem. Most have problems with empathy too but that doesn't make narcissists monsters in itself. People on the autism spectrum has dysfunctional empathy but you don't see people going around on the internet calling them devil incarnates like they do with narcissists and borderlines. And there is evidence that some PDs are development all in origin, just like autism. It is hypocritical if you ask me.

So, the narcissist may need help stabilizing his/her self-esteem. And if anyone wants to improve their empathic capacity, mindfulness meditation is supposed to be helpful for that. And getting in touch with other emotions too.
what a tangled web we unweave, when we practice to just be
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Re: A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

Postby TheLord » Sun May 24, 2015 7:44 pm

If there was nothing to cure, then why would OP say that he was healed?

Narcissim is one thing, NPD is another as you probably know.
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Re: A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

Postby Truth too late » Sun May 24, 2015 10:53 pm

TheLord wrote:I dont mean not self aware by uncured. You can be self aware still not cured.


In that case, I think a self-aware N would be less likely to have the reaction you described. To me, self awareness means recognizing how my traits work toward a self-serving result. Everything open to re-evaluation. A huge demotion.

I agree with you that Ns will either reject the notion of God (because an N is self-sufficient), or see themselves as spiritual when it's (probably) looking to God as a mirror, praying to themselves. Just another convenient element of self-sufficiency that is as easy and gratifying as any other.

It would be interesting if the OP could address this topic in his blog. How his traits impeded his spirituality, how it's not his traits today but something more genuine. I think that's something an aware N could relate to. (Would also address the real concern that the new spirituality is a substitution. A new inner-generated "supply.").
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Re: A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

Postby TheLord » Mon May 25, 2015 4:59 am

VioletAasA wrote:
Livinginmyhead wrote: I love you all - and hope that you to find freedom.



Just my thoughts to the OP if he ever gets interested to read what the 'I love you all' members have to say.

I think this is what puts the You in isolation: me vs all of you on this site with a flavour of superiority. You don't see individuals here, just a mass that you address.

This is peer support forum, and you are not coming as a peer but rather as a messiah and to promote your journey and your truth as the only truth. Now, thinking of that, maybe Messiah was a narcissist too.

This is the phase in your life , perhaps the next one will be humbleness and ability to relate?

With all said above, I am not negative to your journey. This is your journey and I respect that.

I with you well on your journey.


This reply is a very good example of what I said, OPs cure will be rejected, it will be devalued, it will be taken some kind of fraud, or some some kind of promotion, not a genuine attempt by someone who had NPD, can relate with other NPDs, and now want to share his idea of how it can be healed just the same way he healed.

Think about a girl who was raped, now she is on a mission to save other girls from sexual abuse, she can relate with them but when she starts to addresss them a girl comes forward and says you are a Narcissist, this is a peer support institution, you are coming here as a messiah blah blah blah.

All the genuine efforts of the girl on the mission will be wasted if everyone starts saying this to her. This is called resistence by the people with Personality Disorder for any kind of solution, treatment, cure to the problem. This is the very reason many hate their therapists, call their therapists arrogant, not knowledgeable, and that NPDs know more than their therapist, and that they were able to fool the therapists so, how can the therapist be better knowing than them etc.

And this is why many therapists are not interested in treating NPDs and this is why many NPDs come here complaining that while there are so many support places for the N victims, but not for the NPDs.

I hope I explained this in an inoffensive manner, because offending others was not my purpose but rather bing able to tell what I have observed so far.
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Re: A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

Postby VioletAasA » Mon May 25, 2015 5:51 am

TheLord wrote:
VioletAasA wrote:
Livinginmyhead wrote: I love you all - and hope that you to find freedom.



Just my thoughts to the OP if he ever gets interested to read what the 'I love you all' members have to say.

I think this is what puts the You in isolation: me vs all of you on this site with a flavour of superiority. You don't see individuals here, just a mass that you address.

This is peer support forum, and you are not coming as a peer but rather as a messiah and to promote your journey and your truth as the only truth. Now, thinking of that, maybe Messiah was a narcissist too.

This is the phase in your life , perhaps the next one will be humbleness and ability to relate?

With all said above, I am not negative to your journey. This is your journey and I respect that.

I with you well on your journey.


This reply is a very good example of what I said, OPs cure will be rejected, it will be devalued, it will be taken some kind of fraud, or some some kind of promotion, not a genuine attempt by someone who had NPD, can relate with other NPDs, and now want to share his idea of how it can be healed just the same way he healed.

Think about a girl who was raped, now she is on a mission to save other girls from sexual abuse, she can relate with them but when she starts to addresss them a girl comes forward and says you are a Narcissist, this is a peer support institution, you are coming here as a messiah blah blah blah.

All the genuine efforts of the girl on the mission will be wasted if everyone starts saying this to her. This is called resistence by the people with Personality Disorder for any kind of solution, treatment, cure to the problem. This is the very reason many hate their therapists, call their therapists arrogant, not knowledgeable, and that NPDs know more than their therapist, and that they were able to fool the therapists so, how can the therapist be better knowing than them etc.

And this is why many therapists are not interested in treating NPDs and this is why many NPDs come here complaining that while there are so many support places for the N victims, but not for the NPDs.

I hope I explained this in an inoffensive manner, because offending others was not my purpose but rather bing able to tell what I have observed so far.


Hmmmm....
I think that you should take a nap.
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Re: A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

Postby Truth too late » Mon May 25, 2015 6:11 am

TheLord wrote:This is called resistence by the people with Personality Disorder for any kind of solution, treatment, cure to the problem. This is the very reason many hate their therapists, call their therapists arrogant, not knowledgeable, and that NPDs know more than their therapist, and that they were able to fool the therapists so, how can the therapist be better knowing than them etc.


I started to reply to you thinking you were replying to me. Ooops.

But, I did want to clarify that my replies have been based on my assumption that self-awareness means accepting of what the problem is, how it affects them and others. Not resistance to it. (Maybe not fully understanding, but not resistance. A humility?).

I agree that the people you describe won't find the OP's story relevant.

Is my conception of self-awareness flawed? I assumed the people who would blow off the therapist wouldn't google for anything specific to NPD either.
I never seen you looking so bad my funky one / You tell me that your superfine mind has come undone (Steely Dan, Any Major Dude)
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Re: A Quick Hello From One Who Has Healed

Postby TheLord » Mon May 25, 2015 7:48 am

The problem is that self awareness is just one thing, but being able to not fall into the same lifetime of pattern is another. You can find plenty of examples here people who are aware of their disorders, aware of what they did all their life and still when the situation arrises they react the same way.

As I said, any solution to the problem ever, ever, can only come from N, not his therapist, not a book, not a friend, no one here. It will simply be rejected.

There was a thread started by Violet some time ago where she told us how "simple" it was! You see when she has some kind of solution, she addressed that to masses, it was very simple and a solution that will work for everyone but when OP shared his cure, then he was told that he was coming off as a messiah, addressing to the masses blah blah blah.

Again I am trying to offend others here just trying to show what I have observed.
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