The Madonna/Whore Complex in Men and Women

watermelons wrote:Problem is, I can get emotionally involved with a man considered as 'whore'.

Would you be emotionally invested in the man who is kind and caring?

beesknees wrote: He even said in order for him to be able to consider my feelings sex had to stop.

^ this. So much this. This makes me sad.
I guess I share more with fretless mayhem than I was willing to admit to myself. Even though I idealise and quasi-objectify my last SO, deep down I yearn for a deep, almost spiritual connection with him. At the very least, a sign that he cared about my feelings beyond a exasperated "yes of course I care about you! " in response to my whinings.

reflection wrote:

watermelons wrote:Problem is, I can get emotionally involved with a man considered as 'whore'.

Would you be emotionally invested in the man who is kind and caring?

Yes, absolutely. That's my safe bet. And the foundation of a lasting relationship.

i love that mith that the best sex is with someone you love because you love them
good to see no one here believes this

madjoe wrote:i love that mith that the best sex is with someone you love because you love them
good to see no one here believes this

I'm not sure that is a myth madjoe. Outside of here I am told that when two people are emotionally connected that lovemaking brings with it a deeper bonding and contentment.

i'm not saying it cannot be good

the hole thing about splitting is what you think(/feel) is real not being real
and those 2 conflicting

relationships are all about compromise
give and take
if you think prince charming is gonne be a great father, have lots of time for you make buckets of money be the best sex you ever had etc
you will never be happy

madjoe wrote:you will never be happy

I don't know if it is possible to be truly happy while having a personality disorder. It just seems as though there is always an underlying discontent. I don't think it would matter if one had Prince Charming or Cinderella.

Compromise can make a relationship function better but it doesn't necessarily make it successful.

reflection wrote:

madjoe wrote:you will never be happy

I don't know if it is possible to be truly happy while having a personality disorder. It just seems as though there is always an underlying discontent. I don't think it would matter if one had Prince Charming or Cinderella.

Compromise can make a relationship function better but it doesn't necessarily make it successful.

I think feeling bad for some reason, chronically, won't be changed by a relationship. Other people, drugs, religion, moving to another place or any kind of emotional distraction. these are temporary anesthetics.