NPD men in relationships with BPD women

synthetic emotion wrote:

Intrigued... What's was the last communication like? When was the last contact?

It was only about a week ago over text. I think she split on me. She was uncharacteristically formal in her texts, which she only does when dealing with serious emotions. It was civil.

Harkness wrote:

synthetic emotion wrote:

Intrigued... What's was the last communication like? When was the last contact?

It was only about a week ago over text. I think she split on me. She was uncharacteristically formal in her texts, which she only does when dealing with serious emotions. It was civil.

Perhaps I missed this in an earlier post, but how long did the relationship before it ended?

synthetic emotion wrote:
Perhaps I missed this in an earlier post, but how long did the relationship before it ended?

This time only a few weeks. If we tried again it might only last a few hours, lol

Harkness wrote:

synthetic emotion wrote:
Perhaps I missed this in an earlier post, but how long did the relationship before it ended?

This time only a few weeks. If we tried again it might only last a few hours, lol

It's seems to me that you have the upper hand. You know her nature and you have the present of mind to control your reactions. Couldn't you just play the game and get what you want. Maybe I'm wrong. That's my situation. I've done the dance so many times, every time I get better at it and I get more. But I remain emotionally uninvolved.

synthetic emotion wrote:

Harkness wrote:

synthetic emotion wrote:
Perhaps I missed this in an earlier post, but how long did the relationship before it ended?

This time only a few weeks. If we tried again it might only last a few hours, lol

It's seems to me that you have the upper hand. You know her nature and you have the present of mind to control your reactions. Couldn't you just play the game and get what you want. Maybe I'm wrong. That's my situation. I've done the dance so many times, every time I get better at it and I get more. But I remain emotionally uninvolved.

Explain what "getting what he wants" is? He's just gonna kick the dust up if he has sex with her.

anxietykiller wrote:Explain what "getting what he wants" is? He's just gonna kick the dust up if he has sex with her.

Killer,

I've been meaning to get back to you. Much to discuss. I hope your holidays were good. Nice profile pic.... provactive. I assume that Harkenss wants what anyone wants from a relationship, reciprocity. Then again if I remember he is NPD, so perhaps this is more of a power struggle. I that instance "getting what he wants" may not necessarily mean sex but rather control and by way of control he not only get sex but supply. You can appreciate that even in normal relationships power translates to many thing... Sex included. My point is that Harkness is aware of her condition and his own. He knows her reactions and how to stimulate or even trigger her..... or more importantly how to avoid triggering her. With a focused mind set he can treat it like a game or an experiment. Tweak his methods, his words, his techniques so that ultimately he get what he wants. What he wants is irrelevant to us.... How he gets it is the topic of conversation. Harkness has knowledge, experience, internal awareness, and most importantly the element of surprise... He can reinvent himself into anything he wants to make himself whatever she needs him to be. He can look into her soul and predict with a high probability what she will do before she does it. It's a massive advantage.... It's like looking at someone's hand in poker before they do. Sure he can can kick up the dust after sex..... But he can now choose to avoid that IF he plays the situation correctly... See my point?

synthetic emotion wrote:

anxietykiller wrote:Explain what "getting what he wants" is? He's just gonna kick the dust up if he has sex with her.

Killer,

I've been meaning to get back to you. Much to discuss. I hope your holidays were good. Nice profile pic.... provactive. I assume that Harkenss wants what anyone wants from a relationship, reciprocity. Then again if I remember he is NPD, so perhaps this is more of a power struggle. I that instance "getting what he wants" may not necessarily mean sex but rather control and by way of control he not only get sex but supply. You can appreciate that even in normal relationships power translates to many thing... Sex included. My point is that Harkness is aware of her condition and his own. He knows her reactions and how to stimulate or even trigger her..... or more importantly how to avoid triggering her. With a focused mind set he can treat it like a game or an experiment. Tweak his methods, his words, his techniques so that ultimately he get what he wants. What he wants is irrelevant to us.... How he gets it is the topic of conversation. Harkness has knowledge, experience, internal awareness, and most importantly the element of surprise... He can reinvent himself into anything he wants to make himself whatever she needs him to be. He can look into her soul and predict with a high probability what she will do before she does it. It's a massive advantage.... It's like looking at someone's hand in poker before they do. Sure he can can kick up the dust after sex..... But he can now choose to avoid that IF he plays the situation correctly... See my point?

Yes I get it. But being borderline I'd be lying if I said taking advantage of our high degree of vulnerability and emotionality didn't..... rub me the wrong way. However, I am in your sandbox over here in NPD land.

Thank you for the compliment. I guess you can see I use sex as power, as well.

My holidays were pretty good. I spent it with really good friends. Not like the cold environment at my families. How were yours? I figured you were busy with the holidays. Take your time getting back to me.

VirginiaEsquire wrote:It's the most addictive thing I've ever felt in my life.

why the hell do you guys put up with crazy bpd antics? i just pulled the worst possible things with my narc and he STILL WANTED TO STAY IN TOUCH.
/
why? is it like playing with fire or playing chicken?

synthetic emotion wrote:
It's seems to me that you have the upper hand. You know her nature and you have the present of mind to control your reactions. Couldn't you just play the game and get what you want. Maybe I'm wrong. That's my situation. I've done the dance so many times, every time I get better at it and I get more. But I remain emotionally uninvolved.

I know exactly what you mean. But I feel like we've reached a natural conclusion. I'm done with it.

-- Fri Dec 27, 2013 5:22 am --

synthetic emotion wrote:
Killer,

I've been meaning to get back to you. Much to discuss. I hope your holidays were good. Nice profile pic.... provactive. I assume that Harkenss wants what anyone wants from a relationship, reciprocity. Then again if I remember he is NPD, so perhaps this is more of a power struggle. I that instance "getting what he wants" may not necessarily mean sex but rather control and by way of control he not only get sex but supply. You can appreciate that even in normal relationships power translates to many thing... Sex included. My point is that Harkness is aware of her condition and his own. He knows her reactions and how to stimulate or even trigger her..... or more importantly how to avoid triggering her. With a focused mind set he can treat it like a game or an experiment. Tweak his methods, his words, his techniques so that ultimately he get what he wants. What he wants is irrelevant to us.... How he gets it is the topic of conversation. Harkness has knowledge, experience, internal awareness, and most importantly the element of surprise... He can reinvent himself into anything he wants to make himself whatever she needs him to be. He can look into her soul and predict with a high probability what she will do before she does it. It's a massive advantage.... It's like looking at someone's hand in poker before they do. Sure he can can kick up the dust after sex..... But he can now choose to avoid that IF he plays the situation correctly... See my point?

It's like you've been in my head.

anxietykiller wrote: I guess you can see I use sex as power, as well.

Do you? they do not really talk about this BPD forum.
Dark and introverted.

I also use it to power. Just as it would be more acceptable than overpower and manipulate intellectually.
OT