NPD men in relationships with BPD women

The person I was referring to is not gone but thank you for your concern.

I am the Borderline female he was the narcissist. The most painful relationship I have ever experienced and as a borderline I have had a few to say the least. He was the big man he was my god I couldn't do enough for him and he turned my life upside down... But then I would retreat .. He would come back over and over then when I fell pregnant which he had begged for and I didn't really want developed a relationship with another woman which I sensed but was unable to prove and went no contact. He then dismissed the relationship and came back crying and begging and I trying to fill the empty void took him back but by then was no longer pregnant. It was an endless cycle until I realised he had been so unloyal and all of the truth unfolded as to what he had done and I decided to make him pay. I made him feel small stripped him of everything and have gone no contact again I believe until the borderline is done the relationship will never end. Not truly as the borderline satisfies a void in the narcissist like no other. Just my opinion.

GOOD MORNING

lol idk how the posts in here regularly go but I literally only became fully self aware last night & I'm almost excited....excited i finally understand what I have been going through...I read so many articles and forums last night & it was like i had written out my own experiences...it was crazy....i feel "new" lol...anyway I am a self diagnosed 100% 23 y.o Bpd woman.

I knew something was "wrong" for a little less than 2 years now...i used to think i was just suffering from depression...or i was bi polar...i googled symptoms i few times nothing fully fit..about a year ago i read BPD diagnostics & was like..yeah thats definitely me...but i never searched it or looked at it again...idk if it was because i realized how serious it was & wanted to prove that wasn't me or what...but i ignored it and continued to say i was depressed...last night some heavy googling on my ex lead me to a place where i couldnt ignore it anymore..

I was discarded (just learned the real term) about 3 months ago (on his birthday -.-) it was a 6 month relationship with a 1 month preheat...it was literally the craziest experience i have ever been through..i was googling things my ex did and each time at least one link about NPDs came up until i finally clicked one...when i read it i never felt so vindicated in my life..it was like a step by step blueprint to what this man did..every single detail I have never been so sure about something in my life...i spent all night in awe...but also feeling validated..the remaining pain from his brutal discard faded once i realize what he truly was, i sympathized with him (of course) & i also understood his actions and realized he never loved me. I told him he lacked empathy even in the idealization phase....so if i recognized it then idk why i didnt run...i remember he would even sometimes look to me for emotional cues & when he described his "emotions" it was always a little "off" ...i remember he once a few days before he broke up/discarded me for good said "having sex with you means i love you" & im sure he was trying to manage expectations but the part that remains with me was i was looking in his eyes & i could see he truly didn't know...like that a part of him may have actually believed that.

after confidently diagnosing my ex i found a link about the NPD-BPD magnetism in romantic relationships & i thought "there is that bpd word again" I clicked the link...and read the relationship...& i could no longer ignore that the description of the BPD fit...i searched into it more and realized it wasn't only him...the BPD explains so much...i behaved so badly after he discarded me...self harm threats...constant texts (he barely budged)...i didn't do anything too crazy but i did go to his house once to try and talk (he did this to me many times during the devaluation phase)...so i thought it was harmless...not realizing him being an NPD has already convinced everyone around him i was abusing him towards the end (i was surprised)...so me passing was a lot more alarming than i thought it wouldve been...

My NPD...has been in an on & off relationship for 8 years...his ex even messaged me early on right after he had discarded her again..basically warning me he was npd without saying the word...he convinced me she was crazy & trying to get him back of course...a lot of his triangulation involved her or my mother..in hindsight both he an his ex told me in many ways he was NPD..i think they both know...the words they used was like they been on this forum themselves..idk if she is PD...but i wouldnt be surprised...I do believe he was trying to do a final discard with her with me as a replacement to D&D repeatedly like he has her...i was a very good supply...but i think my bpd work after the discard may have worked against that (good thing i guess) i found out he was talking to her again & sent him a message & he sent me a Cease & Desist text he wrote himself...i had been asking for closure for months he wouldnt even answer me & where most people would be scared of his C&D i took it as a blessing...i know for a fact he orchestrated it perfectly...my BPD has never been so prominent in my life...he made himself look like the victim seamlessly...but i can assure you he wasn't...thats not to say im not hard to deal with...anyway in the last 3 months he hasnt given me a second thought...its possible he will return even after the c&d but i'm not holding my breath

but now that i'm fully aware i think my life will be different...i hope im not wrong....& i am completely open to treatment.

Hi, I see this thread is old but I figured I post anyway.

I have BPD. My ex has NPD. We lived together and he discarded me 6 months ago. I moved out immediately. He contacted me once in April to tell me he regrets loosing me and doesn't know if its the end. He got a new girlfriend shortly after. He's 35 and I'm 29. His new girlfriend has 3 kids under the age of 3. Which is strange to me because he said he only wanted to be responsible for himself.

Anyway I did not really contact him at all. He saw me out a few times at bars while he was with his GF and sent me really mean 4am texts. In my Borderline Brain I assumed that meant he cared.

I went to a concert last weekend - our favorite band and missed him more than I could imagine. I caved and texted him to which he replied "Who is this." They had played all of our favorite songs including the one I assumed he'd propose to one day. He said he wanted to marry me a few times. The next day I got an "I'm sorry for my mistakes" text. Very general. We had limited contact for 6 months. Mostly him saying I owed him money. It was the most addictive relationship I've ever been in and the highs were unlike anything.

Does he even care?

Do NPD's ever come back?

anxietykiller wrote:Yes I have BPD. He love bombed me, accepted the real me and not the image, told me everything I wanted to hear, then ran off with another woman he was seeing the whole time that I didn't really know about. This running from me happened about 2 days after the first time we had sex. When I confronted him about the inconsistency between his words and his actions he said "I don't know what to tell you". He was the first person I was completely honest with about who I was and my past indiscretions. He told everyone the things I had told him in confidence. He was manipulative, and made people think I was the malevolent one. To top it all off, he lied about his divorce. So, in my borderline rage, I went bananas. Haven't spoken to him since.

Wow, that sounds exactly like my ex. We broke up about one year ago.
Starting with love bombing. I have BPD and was constantly feeling emptyness and strong feelings of not finding a soul mate.
This guy filled my empty space. He could read my thoughts and gave me everything.

We broke up and after just 1-2 weeks he had already 'found' a new partner. They had apparently been talking for half a year already. I asked him why he hasn't told me about her (since he _always did otherwise with new friends), he didn't say much. When I found out that I actually have friends who know her, and told him just for fun, he got very upset and told me to stop putting my nose 'in things I have nothing to do with'. I was like erhh wtf?!

However. We still had to live together after breakup to sell our common house. He treated me like $#%^ during this time. Broke all our agreements to keep new relationships secret until we sell the house, etc. He immediately moved in to his new partner and started publishing pictures on Facebook with her. Even though we agreed not to do so.

When we finally sold the house, he cut me off completely. I asked him why, and he said that 'we just don't have that relation anymore'. But he kept staying friends with all my friends..

Funky guy indeed.