NPD men in relationships with BPD women

purple tulips wrote:I am not dignifying any of your bs with a response. H understood my question and answered it greatly. Whether you like my question or not does not concern me.

Thank you for the response.
It has a learning curve for me.

anxietykiller wrote:

VioletAasA wrote:

purple tulips wrote:How instigating of you. There was no "shot" at narc's. It was a legitimate question.

I don't understand you.
Looks like legitimate answer to me. Honest.

Also: the assumption of 'not acting humanly' is kinda triggering, would you agree?
I have seen BPD 'in action' on this forum yesterday. I also witnessed the rage when person diagnosed with BPD attacked another person purely based on displaces anger, and out of nowhere.
The more I think of that the more I realize that the question is, in fact, stupid. Just something that would trigger the appropriate reaction of others.
Wondering if this could be defined as passive-aggressive.

I don't know that Sach is BPD. She seems to be much more. I could be wrong. I would never see the use in harassing a group of random strangers simply because of their diagnosis, and I am BPD. I am BPD because of an N mom, and have dated plenty of N men. She was out there.

refer to the why do people hate npd's thread. trolling is trolling. maybe, it was "out there" i don't know, maybe it was just an easy way of releasing anger at people with similar traits and who have admittedly hurt other people. it's like if my kid was ran over by a drunk driver and i decided to walk into a aa group for drunk drivers who had murdered ( this is a grey area, technically it's the drunk driver's fault to get that drunk in the first place but i doubt they get joy out of killing anyone. that's why narcissim is worse) and i decided to rage at a bunch of drunk drivers because i was still mad. OUt of line in many ways...sure but insane? nah

capiche?

-- Sun Dec 29, 2013 11:05 pm --

anxietykiller wrote:

VioletAasA wrote:

purple tulips wrote:How instigating of you. There was no "shot" at narc's. It was a legitimate question.

I don't understand you.
Looks like legitimate answer to me. Honest.

Also: the assumption of 'not acting humanly' is kinda triggering, would you agree?
I have seen BPD 'in action' on this forum yesterday. I also witnessed the rage when person diagnosed with BPD attacked another person purely based on displaces anger, and out of nowhere.
The more I think of that the more I realize that the question is, in fact, stupid. Just something that would trigger the appropriate reaction of others.
Wondering if this could be defined as passive-aggressive.

I don't know that Sach is BPD. She seems to be much more. I could be wrong. I would never see the use in harassing a group of random strangers simply because of their diagnosis, and I am BPD. I am BPD because of an N mom, and have dated plenty of N men. She was out there.

refer to the why do people hate npd's thread. trolling is trolling. maybe, it was "out there" i don't know, maybe it was just an easy way of releasing anger at people with similar traits and who have admittedly hurt other people. it's like if my kid was ran over by a drunk driver and i decided to walk into a aa group for drunk drivers who had murdered ( this is a grey area, technically it's the drunk driver's fault to get that drunk in the first place but i doubt they get joy out of killing anyone. that's why narcissim is worse) and i decided to rage at a bunch of drunk drivers because i was still mad. OUt of line in many ways...sure but insane? nah

capiche?

synthetic emotion wrote:Perhaps a little comedy is an order. I am learning to develop a sense of humor about my condition. So for comedy's sake.... I am actually getting a little pissed that purple is getting all the attention for pissing people off... That's my thing lol. Serously i am Pissed and Laughing at The same time. Laugh it up people's it's the holidays!

Purple... Lets try this:

Is it common when someone goes NC on a narc, that the narc perceives it as an insult?

You seem to be one disordered ASPD.... Just kidding.
I appreciate your insight.
Yes, I am sometimes able to lough at myself for showing NPD traits, but it must be me who points that out.

There is the peace maker inside you; you can't stand fights?

VioletAasA wrote:

synthetic emotion wrote:Perhaps a little comedy is an order. I am learning to develop a sense of humor about my condition. So for comedy's sake.... I am actually getting a little pissed that purple is getting all the attention for pissing people off... That's my thing lol. Serously i am Pissed and Laughing at The same time. Laugh it up people's it's the holidays!

Purple... Lets try this:

Is it common when someone goes NC on a narc, that the narc perceives it as an insult?

You seem to be one disordered ASPD.... Just kidding.
I appreciate your insight.
Yes, I am sometimes able to lough at myself for showing NPD traits, but it must be me who points that out.

There is the peace maker inside you; you can't stand fights?

nicely done, i applaud you

Sach,
You're behavior was reminiscent of a deluded rage. Yes, you were behaving in a crazy way.

anxietykiller wrote:Sach,
You're behavior was reminiscent of a deluded rage. Yes, you were behaving in a crazy way.

perhaps, i think there was a lot of truth to it. as i said in the posts i was aware that i was expressing rage inappropriately. taht was the purpose of the thread. i didn't expect it to explode that badly. i said something, people provoked, i provoked back. can't say i didn't commit full fledge to that rant?

sach wrote:

anxietykiller wrote:Sach,
You're behavior was reminiscent of a deluded rage. Yes, you were behaving in a crazy way.

perhaps, i think there was a lot of truth to it. as i said in the posts i was aware that i was expressing rage inappropriately. taht was the purpose of the thread. i didn't expect it to explode that badly. i said something, people provoked, i provoked back. can't say i didn't commit full fledge to that rant?

Thats not something to be proud of. You will not get better with that attitude.

sach wrote:

maybe it was just an easy way of releasing anger at people with similar traits and who have admittedly hurt other people. it's like if my kid was ran over by a drunk driver and i decided to walk into a aa group for drunk drivers who had murdered ( this is a grey area, technically it's the drunk driver's fault to get that drunk in the first place but i doubt they get joy out of killing anyone. that's why narcissim is worse) and i decided to rage at a bunch of drunk drivers because i was still mad. OUt of line in many ways...sure but insane? nah

I agree. It's not insane. It's just not useful. There's someone out there who hurt you; maybe you need to confront him about it and get some closure.

littlearcher wrote:hey sach,
if you want to "rage", please take it to the venting forum.

if you want support for what you are feeling and are looking to speak to others with bpd, you can come over there too.

raging on people who are self aware, for the most part or nons who are here trying to learn or understand about npd isn't helping anyone, and though you may say it's helping you, i don't think it is. and it certainly isn't helping people with bpd that you are blaming your deliberate choices to lash out on strangers on bpd...

ok ok i've taken a longer in depth look at the postings here. everyone here is trying to get better and offer a enlightened position on their disorder. they're trying, sharing and i should give them full props to them. i came in here blindly attacking. i should have been taking out on the person who casued that pain but haven't because i realise he would just like the attention.

as for bpd, there are certain behaviors assocaited with the disorder, not all bpd exhbit these behaviors and they can be controlled with the right environment and possibly meds. i was so much easier to deal with when i was on antidpressants. i went off of them two years and a half ago and i realise now it's been a bad idea. it didn't take away the emptiness but it helped manage all the symptoms. i think narcs do the same when they act poorly, it is part of their disorder. i don't feel bad saying it is because of my bpd. i could be more self aware and reflective before i choose to act on those behaviors but that's a learning process. it differs from person to person i guess. as for the stigma, it is what it is.

here's a question.

can narcs maintain a decent enough relationship if it was only fwb and the person was adoring and permissive of all his behaviors and fitted the mode of what he wanted (hot, agreeable etc), would this be a template for a long lasting relationship?

i get the sense they wouldn't be happy with that. it's like narcs need that confirmation that the person they are with want more. i remember telling my narc that it was ok if he was with other people and he lied. what made it so hard for him to just admit what he wanted, he wouldn't even say he wanted an fwb until much much later, when the relationship was over. up to that point he wanted to maintain a facade...

at first i was very aloof cold and really dismissive. i frankly didn't really care that much and i knew exactly what he was doing- i knew that there were others- but i played his behavior back to him, i was talking to at least 5 other guys, leading them on and keeping them on the hook, i wasn't sleeping with them. we had a agreement that if either one of us met another person we wanted to be intimate with, all we had to do was inform the other person. he seemed fine with it but i as a bpd, am never very open with my feelings in the beginning, so i kept everything inside. i gave NO INFORMATION about myself, past the initial introductory, told him very little about what i did with my life, or thoughts. i created this wonderful mysterious unattainable attractive presence. i would shower him with love and affection but in no way did we ever have meaningful conversations...his best friend/co narc would make comments (in front of me), "but she's still seeing other guys and people usually tell each other they like each other at this point ahem..."

looking back i realise that maybe this was part of the game, the "taming of the shrew" and breaking her down process....

it got really bad when i finally did talk about the relationship ( i had shot down his initial offer of a relationship after five dates cuz i thought that was too soon and weird tha the was talking about kids and what he wanted from a ltr so soon), he offered me a part time girlfriend scenario where we would meet up every month and talk about his performance.

he told me he would never fall in love or get involved seriously with anyone. i was upset, went on along with it and pretended i was fine. it was my best friend's bday and he had agreed to go, i calle d him out of nowhere and broke it off with him immediately and added a few contemptuous comments. he panicked freaked out. we got back together a few days after becaues of my abandoment issues. then i caught him with a bunch of used condoms and he lied. i was then convinced another girl was coming over later because he insisted i had to go. it just got worse and worse....

i could go on but this post is getting super long lol.

thoughts?
i thought that was strange and all along we were playing these ridiculous games.