Why would a Narc lie about his name?

Why would a narcissist get into a heavy and deep romantic relationship for months and not tell the other person their real name?

The N. I know will have the other person call him from the vestibule in and go downstairs and pick them up. They have "pet" names for each other too. I know for a fact that for the first 3-4 months the other person only knew the N.'s "fake name." So, I guess that would be awkward.

What kind of behavior is this? Sociopathic??

Idk seems kinda odd unless the person is cheating and needs to cover it up or they have an extreme need for privacy and feel lies like this make having a relationship with another person easier? No idea in relation to NPD.

My mother whom I strongly suspect of NPD did exactly that when she was younger(17-18-19 yrs of age). She would get into weird relationships with older strangers under aliases usually during summer vacations with her parents. She'd play out some imaginary part/role/scenario and the name probably served a purpose to get her into the role better. Having a person call you by a different name is a great reminder of the role you're playing. She also might have gotten bored with her own name and wanted something more interesting in her pursuit of faked adventure and drama. She'd usually take on a role of an upper class person and this also required a change of name to something more... royal.

Sadly, she actually told us stories of this when we were still kids. Even then I found it weird, now that I remember these times I can see how she doesn't have a clue about life to tell such disordered stories to her children. She was actually proud of them and thought the stories would have a "wow" effect on us. As if she wasn't satisfied with how we perceived her and tried to change our opinion of her with the stories. She's a well armoured NPDer so our commenting how weird that is simply fed her feeling of being special and misunderstood. Strong is the armour of an NPDer. My mother is all alone, only my grandmother still caters to her, they're completely merged into one person. But she still remains convinced of her victimhood, her specialness, her superiority, her intellect etc.

Google his real name. That might tell you a few things!

uniquelyme wrote:Google his real name. That might tell you a few things!

Hehe, good thinking, that might be a very good reason to lie

But there was no google when my mum did it. She was also completely anonymous(foreign stranger while she was also in another country on vacation) when she decided to lie about her name.

addx wrote:

uniquelyme wrote:Google his real name. That might tell you a few things!

Hehe, good thinking, that might be a very good reason to lie

People are less suspicious of tourists. But we still forget sometimes still that we have so much information now.
Know someone who was dating this guy, luckily, for a short while. She got suspicious cuz some things didnt add up. She googled his email address because nothing came up under his name. His email address came up with other fake identities he used to bait women. He was a con artist sociopath, in and out of jail since he was a teenager. She learned that you cant always go by looks or what someone tells you. But google...its better than fbi:-)

damn, I must be tired, I swear that said "google is his real name"

It's just controlling behavior. You can look at it in a transactional light. The person they are lying too doesn't deserve / hasn't earned the truth / their real name. N's prefer to give nothing, even their name.

This makes me think of magic and fantasy stories though. To know someone's true name in a lot of stories gives you power over them. To name it is to have power over it.

Another aspect could be that he just doesnt go by it and as a habit, doesnt tell people. He may not be even used to hearing it. Had a friend like that....only his mother called him by hisname. The rest of the world called him by his nickname. He only told people who actually hung out with him for a long time. But theres a difference between that and hiding/denying I guess:-)