How is your Cerebral N in bed?

While I do have many sexual ailments: inability to comprehend incest taboo, very hard core fetishism and an invisible anxiety wall(narcissistic performance pressure and also narcissistic feelings about sex being dirty, madonna/whore issues etc) stopping me from enjoying intimacy or the experience of sex I am still very good in bed. It is of paramount importance to me that my partner gets satisfied more than me and since my apetite are insatiable I must make my partner feel as good as I do. She usually orgasms 2-3 times. I do often "masturbate" into her or anywhere to orgasm, but just as often I am able to become overwhelmed by sex(when it's more spontaneous especially spontaneous fetish) and have to struggle to delay orgasm in order to have her orgasm. I have most trouble with face to face, eye contact and stuff like that. At times when I get overwhelmed by sex the other person ceases to exist(as a source of anxiety at least) and only the sex of two bodies remain, that's very cool when it happens but eye contact almost always breaks it. If there is a lot of bodily contact during sex as in hugging, squeezing and if there is little or no eye contact it is a lot easier to get carried away for me.

Sex with my cerebral narc is impersonal and infrequent. He considers sex to be a chore, claiming he forgets about it or is too busy or too tired to feel motivated enough to have sex. We’ve been together almost 6 years and initially I used to initiate sex and he used to find excuses, mainly saying that he has an upset stomach. Now I don’t initiate anymore since the pain of being rejected became too much to deal with and now he can go without sex for weeks. When he does initiate you can feel the lack of emotional intimacy and his movements are mechanical. He often says “I don’t feel like moving, just do what you want to me”.

For him performing serves the function of “keeping me happy” or rather keeping me in the relationship. He doesn’t touch me when not having sex, doesn’t make any noises during, is clumsy/rough even when I draw his attention to it, he doesn’t compliment (though he comments about other women) and I’m often left feeling rather lonely, particularly after sex. We’ve brought it up numerous times and he just says that he’s not a sexual person and is going to therapy to work on it. He’s a good guy in most other contexts. It’s just frustrating and difficult to experience.