Post-MBPS

I'm pretty positive that my parents have MBPS. I'm 23 and looking back on my childhood, sorting things out.

My parents constantly try to convince me of disorders I don't have still.

There's a lot going on for me:
1)I'm trying to come to terms with what is real and what were some aliments I did have. Almost all of them were fictitious.

2)I'm trying to deall effectively and productively with the anger I have towards my parents.

3)I'm trying to discover a way how to deal with them. Should I tell them about their condition? They wouldn't believe it. Shouldn't I just walk away from them? Would expressing my feelings to them about being a victim of MBPS be the best thing to do?

4) I'm trying to move on effectively so that I don't develop the disorder myself.

Any ideas on how to do this are appreciated. Also, someone references "sickened", but then another person referenced how that book was fabricated, so that wasn't very helpful...I'm trying to stay away from things that fabricated!!!!:D

Hi, Kooz,
Well, I don't know much about MBPS, but I do know about child abuse.

And the children of MBPS sure have been abused. Although my parents weren't "crazy" by any psychiatric assessment, their behavior sure was "crazy" -- and abusive. And (like MBPS) they stonewalled against believing it. I had to abandon all hope that they would ever be decent parents (or even supportive acquaintances) -- since they would never see their way to getting help for *their* part in my crazy-making childhood.

It was devastating to me to have to abandon hope of ever having a real family (though I have in-laws now who are much more like real family), but having given up on getting positive relations there I have been able to start therapy *on myself* - and to start building positive relationships elsewhere.

Here's hoping that you can get some help working through the anger (and other stages of grief or PTSD or how ever someone might want to diagnose where you've been left).

Congratulations on hitting on a possible "diagnosis" of how bizarre your parents were -- and I hope it lets you launch your own healing journey.
All the best,
—LQ

LoveQuiet wrote:Hi, Kooz,
Well, I don't know much about MBPS, but I do know about child abuse.

And the children of MBPS sure have been abused. Although my parents weren't "crazy" by any psychiatric assessment, their behavior sure was "crazy" -- and abusive. And (like MBPS) they stonewalled against believing it. I had to abandon all hope that they would ever be decent parents (or even supportive acquaintances) -- since they would never see their way to getting help for *their* part in my crazy-making childhood.

It was devastating to me to have to abandon hope of ever having a real family (though I have in-laws now who are much more like real family), but having given up on getting positive relations there I have been able to start therapy *on myself* - and to start building positive relationships elsewhere.

Here's hoping that you can get some help working through the anger (and other stages of grief or PTSD or how ever someone might want to diagnose where you've been left).

Congratulations on hitting on a possible "diagnosis" of how bizarre your parents were -- and I hope it lets you launch your own healing journey.
All the best,
—LQ

Lovequiet, your response soothes and resonates; thanks for your empathy.

you wrote:
"And (like MBPS) they stonewalled against believing it. I had to abandon all hope that they would ever be decent parents (or even supportive acquaintances) -- since they would never see their way to getting help for *their* part in my crazy-making childhood. "

Getting my parents to "admit to the suffering they caused me" has been a huge struggle, but they continually choose to not do even be conscious of their mbps. The hardest part is to "cross them off the list" for emotional support because that's so contradictory to my definition of a parent; you're supposed to go to "mum and paps" for advice and support, but after the emotional and psychological abuse I endured, I had to stop that. Stopping that was almost harder than enduring the abuse.

They'd lure me in to make me frustrated about something and then say I had some psychological disorder; I felt like I had to hide and conceal all my interests because if they new something I liked (like working on the computer, for example), the would use that as a pressure point to limit my access to that. If they new a place I wanted to live (LA, for example) they'd try to get me to do the "darndest" things by using those interests as threats. As result, I somewhat ended up disillusioning myself about my actual likes and dislikes. I had grown so accustomed to (once my parents so a penchant towards a hobby) to manipulate that and askew that, that I ended up learning to conceal my interests and to never really be able to truly connect with fields of study, until WAY out of the nest.

Fortunately, my aunt and uncle, and much of my extended family are incredibly people. My parents are icy, manipulative, controlling, dominating, and psychologically perverse, but some of my extended family are just great -- colorful, alive, focused, compassionate, wise people.

Hey, thanks for framing that in a positive light, "healing journey"! Also, you're right, my focus shouldn't be MBPS because that's my parents problem; my focus should be like you said, anxiety, PTSD, all the other consequences of that abuse; one thign that irks me is my two brothers; they aren't even aware of this and if I mention MBPS to them, they'll think that's absurd, but I see the toll (although less on them than on me -- most was channeled towards me) it has taken on them. I'm concerned about my brothers' health, too.

Thanks!

--john

Hi' this is booboo6451' Keep in mind that all predators are always controlling they cannot and will not see that anyone else's reality is real they spend their life trying to bring their victim's into their delusions and make their delusions real no matter how ugly that delusion may be. It means something different to them it satisfies and feeds something in them. Some emotion or desire. Some deluded misperceived need that only makes sense to them. Trust me you do not want to know any of their secret worlds. You can not fix this in them and you must not allow them permission to drag you into this world. Since you're an adult your the one in control of where you go. Go to only healthy places even if it means you have to cut your family off. You won't have been the first one that had to do this and you won't be the last.