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Does this sound like a case of Munchausen by Proxy??

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Does this sound like a case of Munchausen by Proxy??

Postby Littlegrey » Tue Jan 01, 2013 3:07 pm

Hi there,

Thank you for allowing me to join your forum.

I apologise for the length of this post, but I am concerned for my niece and nephews' welfare.

My question is in relation to a female family member. We, the extended family, are beginning to believe that something isn't right. Some years ago, out of the blue, my 7 year old niece was diagnosed with OCD. Prior to this diagnosis we had not noticed anything wrong with this child. She was lively, full of joy and appeared just like her cousins. My SIL found a top specialist in OCD and had my niece begin treatment( not medication, as far as we are aware). Very quickly this child went from behaving normally to displaying extremely abnormal behaviour. Her mother had told her that she had a life long disorder and would never recover, that she needed to see a specialist, that she should come out of school for a year etc. We never saw evidence of the "raw hands" from the compulsive hand washing, or the fear of toilets, or the neatness and obsessions reported, or any of the many other symptoms that my SIL insisted were present. My SIL began to become an "expert" on OCD through reading on the internet.. She videoed her daughter, kept notes, and then began to forage a very close relationship with her daughter's specialist and spent a lot of time making appointments to talk about OCD. And even gave a talk at a professional's OCD conference due to her growing relationship with her daughter's specialist..She got a lot of attention and notoriety for this..It became her conversation piece.

Later, she tells us that my niece has some traits of the Autism spectrum..Then we learn that her hearing is super sensitive. A visit to a top cardiologist because niece might have Raynaud's syndrome and will need medication for life to save her hands.. The list is endless. Constant big announcements about her children's illnesses and of course we have been so sympathetic, until recently when.....

Shortly after my niece was diagnosed with OCD we learnt that her brother, my nephew, had been diagnosed with ADD. That he had all sorts of difficulties and needed help. He had been diagnosed by the same specialist as his sister.. Heretofore this boy was completely normal to us, just like another boy his age. His difficulty was that he had difficulty sitting the whole day at a school desk, who's kid doesn't!..More exploration ensued..All the time my SIL is mixing with doctors and getting a lot of attention..More recently now she has diagnosed the same boy with OCD, and this week Depressive Disorder. We have managed to speak to this boy, who is now 15 years old, and he believes that he has all of those things wrong with him.. He is feeling down but we feel that with all the weight of the labels and his mother's pressure.. He has told us that she screams at him and has thrown objects at him.. The father has bought into the whole thing and is supportive of my SIL mainly internet diagnosis..This week my SIL was asked about the depressive disorder diagnosis and where it came from and she began screaming and accusing people of interfering etc..

This is a worrying situation to my family. We are non plussed as to what to do. Can you, anyone, in your experience recognise any of this as something you'd recognise as Munchausen by Proxy? We feel that we need help..

Many thanks in advance for reading and I appreciate any responses.

Your's Littlegrey
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Re: Does this sound like a case of Munchausen by Proxy??

Postby CrackedGirl » Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:44 am

Hi and welcome

This sounds like a difficult and upsetting situation. I cant say for sure what is going on as it is over the internet and I am not here in a professional capacity but it does sound like at least your SIL has an unhealthy approach to illness. Whether she is deliberately doing all this for secondary gain is more difficult to say but in my opinion, and this is not a professional opinion, she could be- although there are other things that could be going on too. It might be that she herself has OCD, or there is something going on to do with anxiety or other things. Ideally it would be good for her to be assessed I think but if this is MSBP she would be good at pulling the wool over ppls' eyes so it might not be useful. It would probably be difficult to talk to her about your worries anyhow. This leaves you to figure out what needs to be done to protect these children. It might be that you need to take steps such as involving social services tho I appreciate that this would be difficult and a big deal. But it is something that needs to be borne in mind. I am not sure what else to suggest but from what you have said it does sound like something is going on and that the children are living out the diagnoses they have been given too.

I hope this helps some

I also hope things work out - sorry not to be of more help

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Re: Does this sound like a case of Munchausen by Proxy??

Postby Littlegrey » Wed Jan 02, 2013 10:43 am

Hi CrackedGirl,

Thank you so much for your response.I fully appreciate that you are not an expert and will receive your reply in that light. It's interesting what you say, that the mother may have OCD! This hadn't occurred to me. Can you expand upon that, if it's possible?

We are talking with social services today, but, as you say, this is such a difficult thing to do..I'm trying to keep the well fare of these two children to the centre of my mind when I decide what is best.

Many thanks for taking the time to write.

Littlegrey
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Re: Does this sound like a case of Munchausen by Proxy??

Postby CrackedGirl » Wed Jan 02, 2013 11:08 am

Thanks

Wrt the OCD thought I jsut wondered because ppl with OCD can get fixated on things that are not true. Two common examples we see on this forum is ppl who think they are gay or a paedophile. I wondered whether it could be possible that she has some sort of OCD type thoughts relating to her kids being ill - not sure tho.

Good luck with social services- it is a tough thing to do but it sounds like it is needed unfortunately. I hope it goes as well as it can.

If you want to talk more about this at any time I am here.

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Re: Does this sound like a case of Munchausen by Proxy??

Postby Littlegrey » Wed Jan 02, 2013 12:41 pm

Thank you, Cracked.

You have given food for thought.

I so appreciate it.

Littlegrey xx



Edit: Repeated text
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Re: Does this sound like a case of Munchausen by Proxy??

Postby CrackedGirl » Wed Jan 02, 2013 2:15 pm

You are very welcome :D

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Re: Does this sound like a case of Munchausen by Proxy??

Postby jilkens » Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:17 am

Hi Littlegrey,

Welcome to the forum!

That must be heartbreaking for you and your family to sit by and watch that unfold. Whether or not it's MSBP I cannot say, but it's wise of you to call for outside help. One of the biggest traumas for children who suffer from MSBP is that adults recognized something was wrong and did nothing to help them. Families and friends often do not believe them when they try to let them know what's going on, and sometimes the perpetrator of the abuse will turn the rest of the family against the victim. If this investigation gets entangled in red tape or turns up no solid evidence of abuse, at the very least your niece & nephew will know someone is looking out for them.

My own mother did not fabricate diagnoses but would cause symptoms that led to actual diagnosis. The doctors didn't know they were treating the wrong problem and sometimes that treatment made me even more ill. Being treated for imaginary illnesses has consequences on the body & mind. The abuser relishes in this because it makes things seem legitimate - "look, my child really is suffering!".

I hope things with social services went well and weren't too stressful on you & your family. Let us know how it goes.
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Re: Does this sound like a case of Munchausen by Proxy??

Postby Littlegrey » Thu Jan 03, 2013 10:04 am

Hi ladyswan,

I can't thank you enough for taking the time to reply. I am saddened to read of our experience..How awful for you to be so vulnerable to the one who should be caring for you with their life. I do hope that your wounds will feel less painful with time.

I never for one minute thought that I'd ever be suspecting someone within my own family of causing harm to a child. Whether it is MHBP or some other disorder we are extremely concerned and wish to do something. Fortunately one brother has managed to open up some dialogue with the brother involved and is working hard to help him to see what is happening. Talks are on going. The couple know the situation is out in the open, even if they are both still in denial. Right now they are blaming the children for their behaviour, dreadful. Especially blaming my nephew.

I have spoken with Child Line here and social services are next. My other brother has managed to have a long chat in secret with my nephew and has reassured him that we are there and something is being done. It is in a very delicate phase and but I do believe that we have made some head way. SIL has not been present at these talks, she goes out or makes herself scarce.

Today should shed more light..I will let you know how things are.

Many thanks again.

Littlegrey xx
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Re: Does this sound like a case of Munchausen by Proxy??

Postby CrackedGirl » Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:11 pm

Sounds like things are moving here for you all. I hope it goes well. Do keep us posted.

Cracked
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