So...

My name is Caitlin...well, it isn't the name I like to use, but I've gotten sick of my nickname..and I'm 18, a senior in high school. I'm a writer and an artist. Some people have said I'm very intelligent but my grades never seem to reflect my brains because I lack any work ethic.

I'm:
an incurable daydreamer, a schizoid personality, a self-sabotager, a self-injurer (not a word), a liar/manipulator, I like think about harming others, and I suffer from extreme anxiety and social phobias. I have been told that I have a psychotic or schizophrenic disorder because of my daydreams and hearing/seeing/believing things, but it has never been diagnosed.

In other words, IDK what's wrong with me and I don't think I'll ever get it. There's just too much there to try and understand, so now I just live my life by my impulses, what feels right at the moment. Thinking ahead hurts, it hurts very much. I mainly came here to vent, and tell other people my REAL feelings and what I'm really going through, because these are things I'm afraid to tell even those closest to me. I hope this site will help me out.

Hello Caitlin and welcome to the forums!

I think there will always be a lot for each person to understand about themselves, it can be a daunting task at times... It can also be well worth putting in the effort, small steps at a time, as it can enhance your quality of life in order to understand yourself better...

It is good that you are considering saying your real feelings here. I think it can help a lot to truly express what we are feeling. Why are you afraid to tell those closest to you?

well for starters.. instead of i_will_fall.. wouldn't it be better to put it as will_i_fall?
anywayz its totally up to you.. so have fun.. and look at the bright side of life..