ptsd for 12 exhausting yrs!

I was mortally threatened, and even after getting thru many of the physical discomforts (body armouring), I am still very emotionally numb (or dead) not to mention completely losing sense of time (if its the year 2000 or 3000 - absolutely no difference to me at all, and obviously debilitating). Every day I my outlook in life changes, mostly deciding if I should continue living or not.

I have been unemployed for several years now cuz of this exhausting tiresome illness, and because of this I have to stay at casual acquaintences that are low-lifes/psychotic/UNSAFE. My once top-notch work skills are now no longer, and employment agencies dont want me at all.

It's like I've been 'mentally fractured', and until I get my sense of time back, I'm nothing but a walking worthless corpse merely existing!

Anyone else like this??

Welcome, inacrisis!

I'm so sorry you're going through this Have you checked out the PTSD forum?

post-traumatic-stress/

canolime wrote:Welcome, inacrisis!

I'm so sorry you're going through this Have you checked out the PTSD forum?

post-traumatic-stress/

I haven't, but definitely plan to surf around for sure - gosh thee's so much here!

In the past few days of googling, so much of what I *did* accomplish on my healing came to memory-- the fact that I was even so pysically numb for the first 4-5 yrs after the trauma, then trying different things like massage to DERB to self-hypnotherapy (some worked more on me than others at the time and healing stage I was in), then accidentally discovering EMDR--and have greatly improved since! THO that still doesn't mean I'm even close to being wholey healed yet...but it did help me get over my pang to consider suicide.

I guess it also doesn't help still that I've not even a job prospect tho. Or that, because of such unemployment, that I've had to stay w/psychotic wackos and creeps. Or that I can't even get proper therapy

But...everyday, every week, my 'condition' seems to change. I still have horrible sweats whether I'm thinking of something to the mere anticipation of something (like panic attacks maybe? One of the reasons why I can't even schedule job interviews or even a social date--extremely incovenient to say the least), chronic dizziness now seems
more dull-like (make sense...??lol), and still have difficulty keeping tracks of my thoughts (very early in my trauma I literally couldn't keep a single sentence or read anything w/o 'black outs', or not knowing where 30 minutes or 3 hrs had gone to!)

I'll keep reading here tho...

I was diagnosed with CPTSD forever ago. I got proper treatment using Therapy (trauma specialist) and Medication. PTSD is exhausting but it is possible to recover from it. It takes serious commitment but it is possible. I have.
Step one is learning not to treat this as your enemy.
PTSD is your minds way of protecting you from over whelming events. The emotions/sensations/memories of these events still need to be dealt with in a controlled manner. Hence the Therapy. You need to help your mind sort out what is has seen as a puzzle. The puzzle pieces need to be rearranged so that you see the whole picture in a balanced and healthy way.
It is possible.
Best wishes,
One

I have suffered a long long time, and then was blessed with a trauma program. Inpaitient, I shudder to think of how
I struggled without it.

One is right, it is possible to embrace and heal and live a great life.
Blessings be,
Red

onebravegirl wrote:I was diagnosed with CPTSD forever ago. I got proper treatment using Therapy (trauma specialist) and Medication. PTSD is exhausting but it is possible to recover from it. It takes serious commitment but it is possible. I have.
Step one is learning not to treat this as your enemy.
PTSD is your minds way of protecting you from over whelming events. The emotions/sensations/memories of these events still need to be dealt with in a controlled manner. Hence the Therapy. You need to help your mind sort out what is has seen as a puzzle. The puzzle pieces need to be rearranged so that you see the whole picture in a balanced and healthy way.
It is possible.
Best wishes,
One