New Here...Possiible Paranoid Personality?

Hi Everyone,

I'm new here and i joined this site because I think I may be developing (or have had for some time) a Paranoia problem. I've noticed these issues have increased more in the past two to three years and lately have become so evident that my family and friends are starting to get frustrated with me and my co-workers have mentioned it on several occassions.

For as long as I can remember I've always suffered from anxiety. I've always been distrustful of people. My mom told me as a baby I would cry around anyone unfamiliar no matter who it was. For most of my childhood I isolated myself from most people and didn't really "come out of my shell" so to speak until I was in my teens. When I was twenty years old I developed an eating disorder that has stayed with me ever since. I've had eating issues for some time now (I'm 26) but that's not my main issue today. I also had deep spiritual anxiety for several years and it was so overwhelming I started going to counseling. I've went to a couple of counseling sessions but it didn't help me out much. The counselor I had was a Christian counselor, and no offense to anyone here, but she mostly spent her time telling me how God didn't approve of me in some way or another, so I quit going to her. The ironic part is, I, myself am in the mental health field. I guess that's why I feel so much shame about what I'm going through on the inside because I am supposed to be the one helping others. It's also because that I'm in the mental health field that I fear going to any counselors in my town. I fear that if I ever need a job, I will have to work with one of the counselors that counseled me about this, and that is enough of a thought to scare me away...and of course make me paranoid about what they would do with the information about me.

So, basically my issues lately have been a persistent fear that my co-workers and boss are hiding something from me. I'm constantly afraid they talk behind my back, and lately I've began to have such overwhelming fears that my boss is planning to fire me or try to fire me. I have no reason for these fears. But, I can't get them out of my head. Every small thing that my boss says to me plays over and over in my head until I start to panic, thinking that she meant something malicious when she was talking to me. But, when I relay the information to my family or boyfriend, they tell me I'm being too paranoid and that I work myself up over nothing. I still don't know which one of us is right. Usually I realize that I'm acting "crazy" and I talk to someone else besides the person I'm paranoid about until I calm down and get over whatever I was so paranoid about in the first place. But, lately, it just seems to keep happening. All of my friends, I fear, hate me. I fear my boss is planning to fire me any second, I fear my boyfriend thinks negatively of me. ...the list goes on and on. I know that my dad had paranoia issues in his past as well, but was never treated. What do you all think? Does this sound like I have a problem? If so, what are the usual treatments given to sufferers of Paranoid Personality. Thank you for your help and for listening.

~LadyDay

Hi

I guess i was at the start of where you are about two years ago. Eventually the paranoia turned into anger which turned into stress and ended in burn out. I am still struggling to come back. I did see the Phychiatrist when it all kicked off who put me on Lyrica to control the anxiety and lustral antidepressant. I also went to Occupational therapy to learn how to cope with anxiety, and emotion management. I still struggled up to two months ago when I crashed again and they introduced a second antidepressant and also HRT. Each day I seem to still struggle over something, but the best thing to have is a counceller I think. Someone that doesn't know you, outside the family and definately one like you had who would be too judgemental. And as for not wanyting to work with other councellors for fear of them knowing you, don't think that they would judge you. After all, the best councellor is the one who has been through these problems because they can relate to you. There is nothing worse than trying to talk to someone about your problems and they cannot relate to themm because they have never been through it.

Any way, take care. I am new to the site and not really sure how it all works, but if you ever want to chat just send me a message.

Jane