Welcome New Members

Camelidae wrote:Hello, I´m Camelidae!

Hello and welcome to the forum. What brings you here?
It is nice to meet another new member.

Evening from my time,I am 16, and I joined the forum do to a increasingly growing issue with two other people in me, and wanting people who could possible shine some light as to what is going on. At the moment I am the stable sensible me, which good because the other one is very co-dependent and the other which is the biggest problem is just evil. Hopefully I can find more help here like my sister wanted, who is not really my sister but she might as well be.

QuestionableZ wrote:Evening from my time,I am 16, and I joined the forum do to a increasingly growing issue with two other people in me, and wanting people who could possible shine some light as to what is going on. At the moment I am the stable sensible me, which good because the other one is very co-dependent and the other which is the biggest problem is just evil. Hopefully I can find more help here like my sister wanted, who is not really my sister but she might as well be.

Hello and welcome to the forum. It sounds very much like you may have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) so you might want to have a look at that part of the forum dissociative-identity/ and also read a bit more about it and see if you can relate.

It's always nice to welcome a new member (or 3! ). The other's are welcome to write here too if they would like but they should sign their names (or write in a different colour or something) to identify that it is not you writing...
I hope you find it helpful and supportive here.

salted lipstick wrote:

Camelidae wrote:Hello, I´m Camelidae!

Hello and welcome to the forum. What brings you here?
It is nice to meet another new member.

Thank you for the warm welcome, salted!

What originally brought me here is an intense interest in people and understanding them.

What I have myself:

-depressive episodes
-anxiety attacks
-social phobia
-paranoia in the sense of feeling emotionally vulnerable and therefore being afraid of certain people reading my mind or seeing me, especially when thinking of them ("connection")
-problems interpreting peoples´ intentions when they are related to me (being oblivious to them or seeing too much into them), none when not personally involved
-poor attention span, focus and memory when not genuinely interested

All related to poor self-esteem and not trusting myself and my own judgement.

Occasionally sleep disturbances, nightmares, depersonalisation/derealisation I think it´s called and obsession with my weight.

None diagnosed except for one major depressive episode back in 2010. None severe enough to really take myself seriously, but severe enough to interfere with my school and private life (or lack thereof). None constant.

Camelidae,

I think if you are finding that those things are interfering with you life as you say they are, they are definitely worth seeking some treatment for. Often people notice the more minor symptoms of their mental health condition first and seem to be blind to the main symptoms until they seek treatment and realize that they had just gotten used to living life as they had been, not realizing that they are being as impacted by their mental health conditions as they are... That is certainly the way it was for me. I noticed all of the little symptoms first and didn't even notice I had other major symptoms because living my life as I had been just seemed normal to me, with just a few minor things. It wasn't until I did something that triggered my symptoms to become more pronounced that I realized I needed to seek help. Since then I have realized that there is a better kind of way for me to live as I have been gradually dealing with my mental health.

So I think if you notice any kind of impact on your life at all from the things you are experiencing, it is probably a really healthy step for you to seek some treatment for it. Even though that can be a difficult step to take initially.

I think if you are finding that those things are interfering with you life as you say they are, they are definitely worth seeking some treatment for. Often people notice the more minor symptoms of their mental health condition first and seem to be blind to the main symptoms until they seek treatment and realize that they had just gotten used to living life as they had been, not realizing that they are being as impacted by their mental health conditions as they are.

Thank you, already on my way! The smaller "symptoms" just don´t seem to be linked to anything in particular. It´s a bit of this, a bit of that, but nothing that makes your jaw drop and go "Ah, well THIS makes sense!". Well, I´ll have to let the doc do the job...

Camelidae wrote:Thank you, already on my way! The smaller "symptoms" just don´t seem to be linked to anything in particular. It´s a bit of this, a bit of that, but nothing that makes your jaw drop and go "Ah, well THIS makes sense!". Well, I´ll have to let the doc do the job...

Probably you will eventually get one of those "Ah-Ha" moments when you eventually receive the right diagnosis and you look up all the symptoms and can relate. It's not uncommon to feel like you haven't got it nailed to start with. I remember when I first joined this site I kept reading though all of the descriptions of the mental illnesses and I could relate to bits and pieces but it never seemed that anything quite fitted... Eventually I had to learn to recognise some of the other symptoms I hadn't noticed and then I got the "Ah-Ha" moment for finally fitting a diagnosis and knowing how to proceed from there. I'm glad to hear you are on your way with it. The one thing I'd say is if you get a diagnosis and it doesn't seem to fit right in your opinion, it is worth continuing to discuss why with your doctor because there may be something that they have overlooked or that you forgot to mention to them earlier...

I´m really glad this seems to be normal. My mum always says I should stop reading about "those things on the internet" (you know, internet equals evil ), otherwise I´d end up talking myself into things. And, in fact, I read everything mental illness related I can get my hands on. It´s an on-off thing for me. This week I think I could be this, the next I´ll find one that covers another part of me. Obviously, everyone can identify with certain aspects of mental illnesses to a certain degree. Since I´m pretty "relative" about most things I can never tell whether something is severe or not. I just don´t connect to myself very well and without comparing myself to others I fail to know how I feel. Say, XY is crying. I know crying means feeling bad most of the time. If I am not crying, this means I feel better. If I am crying, but not as heavily as XY, I am better as well. If I am crying harder, I feel worse. That´s very simplitic. I still feel, just don´t know what to do with it.

Ah, I´m rambling, haha.

Thanks for taking the time, you are very kind, salted.

Camelidae wrote:I´m really glad this seems to be normal. My mum always says I should stop reading about "those things on the internet" (you know, internet equals evil ), otherwise I´d end up talking myself into things. And, in fact, I read everything mental illness related I can get my hands on. It´s an on-off thing for me. This week I think I could be this, the next I´ll find one that covers another part of me. Obviously, everyone can identify with certain aspects of mental illnesses to a certain degree. Since I´m pretty "relative" about most things I can never tell whether something is severe or not. I just don´t connect to myself very well and without comparing myself to others I fail to know how I feel. Say, XY is crying. I know crying means feeling bad most of the time. If I am not crying, this means I feel better. If I am crying, but not as heavily as XY, I am better as well. If I am crying harder, I feel worse. That´s very simplitic. I still feel, just don´t know what to do with it.

Ah, I´m rambling, haha.

Thanks for taking the time, you are very kind, salted.

I think it is probably good to learn as much as you can about mental illnesses. It makes sense that you will identify with certain aspects of some mental illnesses but I don't think you will end up talking yourself into something you don't have. I think doing the reading just helps give you an awareness of what you are feeling by making you think about how you experience life. It sounds as if you are not feeling that connected to your own emotions at the moment, that is an important observation you have made. I think feeling more connected with your own emotions will start to come more as you start to delve into treatment, then you will begin to rely on less of a "relative" view of your emotions and start to feel things more.

How did you feel about your Mum telling you to stop reading the information on the internet? I think it seems unfair of her to try to discourage you from doing something that may actually be of great benefit to you...

I was not delighted by her telling me. She says she´s open about it, but as soon as I let her in on some things I find interesting or that I´ve noticed about myself she gets that look like I should just stop it and not make a fuss. I really dislike it when people confuse being emotional with being empathetic. It might be a part of it, but it´s not the whole thing.

Today I went to see a new therapist, mainly because someone recommented her to me and not because I need a new one. She suggested some natural meds to me and said other than that she´d like me to think about going to a psychosomatic hospital for four weeks. Weird. I don´t feel that bad. I somehow give off the wrong vibes to people.