Not sure where to post this - newbie with a question.

Hello all!

I wasn't sure where to post this because it is pretty involved and lenghty - sorry!! I'm just so frustrated and I want to make sure that I'm explaining everything clearly. (I know the rules say to put your post in the category that is most affected...but I can't pinpoint which one, so please feel free to move this if it needs to go somewhere else).

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia years ago. I've had eating issues and have always had a problem with concentration. (Maybe ADHD? I don't know...I don't even know if I have all the things the doctors have told me I have to be completley honest...I guess I do believe it because I'm living it, but it's just allot to believe for one person, I guess).

I have been in therapy (Therapist/Psychiatrist/Psycotherapist) off and on for about 7 years now and have been on many medications (Effexor, Lexapro, Lamictal, Amytriptalyn, Gabatril, Adivan, etc, and most recently - Cymbalta and Diazapam (valium)).

I stopped taking medication (Effexor and Gabitral withdrawl...felt like I was going to die...it was horrible) 3 years ago and focused on trying to "fix (can't think of the right word right now)" my head or make it more managable purely through therapy. I did cognative behavioral therapy, breathing excersizes, yoga, R.E.M. therapy...pretty much everything short of electroshock therapy

Over the last year, I just realized that none of this was making me feel all that much better. It did help me manage my swings better, and it helped a little with my depression when it got severe...but it basically did nothing for my lack of concentration, for my out of control anxiety or my SEVERE irritability. I was so uncomfortable in my own body, so I decided to go back to meds. I have been on Cymbalta (60mg/day) and Valium (which I take rarely...if I can't sleep or if I feel a panic or anxiety attack coming on) for about 3 weeks now and it has definetley helped with my irritability, and a little bit with my anxiety...but not much else and I'm super tired allot now...great for my insomnia...not so great for much else (it feels like my depression is slowly creeping back in too, but it might be just because I'm so tired). I am lucky though that I barely had any other side effects, which I am prone to.

Ok...now to my point. (again, so sorry this is so long) I know it's only been 3 weeks since starting the new meds, but my lack of concentration, my paranoia, my anxiety and my depression haven't really changed. Mostly my lack of concentration though. I just cannot concentrate...it's affecting me at both of my jobs (I work in an office and I am a stand up comedian) at my day job, it's hard to focus or stay on task with anything....and with comedy (which I travel and get paid to do) I don't drive over bridges, I barely drive at all actually, I have the hardest time just sitting down and working on new and old jokes, and after/before shows, it's hard to be in a room with so many people...which will/can affect my bookings. (I guess being onstage is ok because I can't usually see the audience - bright lights - and allthough I'm telling mostly true stories up there, I sort of feel like I'm playing a role).

I wanted to talk to my doctor about adding a drug, or changing drugs (after I give the Cymbalta more of a chance)...like perhaps Dexedrine (in researching, I've read so many bad things about rittalin and aderall, but I know everyone has a different experience) I need to be able to concentrate, focus, and follow through...but I don't want it to make my anxiety worse.

I'm just so frustrated, tired, and burnt out on research and trying a million different things...so I'm reaching out and asking for any suggestions or advice before my next doctors visit.

I am looking to see if any of you have had/seen any success with a drug or drug combo that helps with Depression, Anxiety (and/or Bipolar Disorder), Panic, ADHD (possibly), and Agoraphobia (which may be in the same catagory as one of the above). I know all drugs have side affects, and of course I'd like to try the ones with the lowest side affects, but those will subside...I just want to feel better!! If it matters (because I know sometimes gender and age are affected differently with different drugs) I am a 26 year old Female.

I just want to feel comfortable in my own body and I truley appreciate anyone who read this whole long thing and/or anyone who has suggestions/advice/experiences.

Thank you!!!

P.S. This took me 3 hours to write.

Have your tried Seroquel? I have a lot of the same issues as you and it's helped me quite a bit with my anxiety and a little bit with my irritation.

I wish I had more advice for you but I still haven't found anything to impove my concentration or help with with my agrophobic tendencies. I think for that (the agrophobia) your best bet is to just continue the therapy and try and force yourself to go out, even if justs to low key areas and stuff, try to work your way up. (I know this isn't easy, but that's the best advice I've gotten so far on it.)

Anyway, I'm here if you ever need to talk. Feel free to message me anytime.

Best of luck to you! (Don't give up!)

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!!!

The agoraphobia has gotten a little better, it mainly only affects me when I'm driving or if I were to fly, sometimes when I'm walking (like working out)...I just need to be able to concentrate and I don't want my depression coming back.

Thanks again, and same goes to you!

dear newbie,

sorry to hear about the problems. I hope you just get stronger because of them.