A Long Introduction

Hey, this is theraind.

I was occasionally lurking in this forums before then but I felt like to participate. I am always surfing image boards, forums or blogs when I am on the internet. Don't really have much social life since I graduated highschool. I like roleplaying but with systems such as D&D 3.5 or oWOD in general. Using fantasy roleplaying games as an tool to escape reality helped me a lot.

I like Manga or Anime that process mental illness or psychological issues and details in social relationships between people. I can reccomend you two mangas that I newly finished and loved. They are Freesia and I Am a Hero. I feel more related to the Freesia's maincharacter since I've a violent resolve mechanism against the hard encounters I come upon and considering it normal or rather natural. I love finding my characteristics in a book that written by a person I never meet in my life. That prevents me from alienating myself from other people since I can see someone's comment in the comment section of the manga about his toughts about relating himself to the exact character I found myself in. Feeling less special and alone helps me.

I didn't inflict serious harm to anyone since elementary except some kind of self-defence situation. When I was little and was in high school, I involved in lots of fights. I can't mention myself as a mature, dignified person. Mostly I was getting ganged up on by others, I was good at handling myself against bullies. Because even though i am no man of honour, i'ma never bow down. Since I'm born and raised in a middle east country people are tend to act aggressive and it always a problem if you are anti-social and have a constant paranoia and anger.

I don't go out much. I have a family tolerates me. Father thinks this isn't me and expects me to behave like him. He doesn't understand we are different individuals and different experiences that are base of our personalities. We only share the schizoid behaviors. Nothing more than that.

Also I like drawing, playing the various instruments I have. I have decent skill in music but my focus is on drawing/painting. Actually I'm planning to apply to an university of fine arts.

I've been living isolated from society for 2 years. I want to do a fresh start in college. Where I will try to blend in the society and find people with same interest with me.

Thank you psychforums.com administrators and thank you the users of the site for sharing your experiences and advices. :D

Welcome, theraind

It sounds like you have a lot of determination. Best of luck in achieving your ambitions

Thank you for sharing about yourself. And Welcome to PsychForums!