Request your advice

Hi, I'm 32, married with a son of 2 yrs old. I'm happy in life and all my expectation in marriage was/is fullfield (since the past 4 yrs) - to understand that everything is OK in between my wife and myself.
The problem us that some couple of weeks back have come to meet a beautiful lady (also married since the last 10 yrs). The latter phone me almost every day (5 to 6 time daily) pretexting that she have a young fellow who is making much effort trying to conquered her.
At the beginning have tried to advice her on how to get rid of this young fellow, but now it is as if I'm getting trapped and my feeling is currently more than friendship (she unfortunately feel same).

She's one of our companies biggest customer and professionally I'm unable to avoid taking her call.

Could you please advice me on how to proceed as I do not want to cause harm to any body (i.e. wife / son from my side as well as on her side too).

Awaiting for your views

Luc15

Luc,

You acn continue to talk to her profesionally, but that means not answering/replying to her outside of work hours. So, if she sends you a message while you are at home, do not reply to it until the following day when you get to work. Also, don't bother replying to any of her 'seductive' messages - you have no obligation to answer them. You're not a fool... ...keep everything professional and above-board. If, however, you feel that you cannot handle this, then ask her to stop. If sahe doesn't, then either report her or change your number and have a colleague deal with her, profesionally.

Like you implied - there are important people (wife/son) at stake here - so get this sorted out and don't let her into your personal life in any way.

Kevin

Make it crystal clear that you are in Love with your Wife. When this woman brings up anything uncomfortable, mention your wife. If she asks for advice about her personal life, tell her that you think she should get a womans perspective and suggest she talks to your Wife about it. Women on the hunt Hate the word WIFE. She'll get the message.
If your unsure how to begin to re-define things with this woman, do something very romantic with your wife. Dinner out, a gift, something and let it be known to this other woman that things are going really well in your marriage.
The "us" in your life is you and your wife. Don't make this other woman and you have "us" conversations. If you do, you are misleading her.
Your poor wife, this would break her heart if she knew.
One

Hi, first I wd hv liked to thks Kevin and One for having reply to my earlier post, I really appreciate yr help regarding my request. Howerver i'm returning onto Psychforums as I still need your help, and now may be more than ever. I'm desesperate . . .
Refering to my earlier post, I've did my utmost so as to avoid giving a next to the proposal of the said young lady, but what I've noticed is more I'm trying to get far away from her, more I feel lost, alone and sad . . . feelings that I don't understand as I love my family very much and I do not want to hunt anybody.
My wife trust me very much, she care very much for me and this I sure that it's true. I did not want to betray this trust but still, it's difficult (for not saying impossible) for me to forget the other lady for whom, I presumed, I hv started to develop feelings that exceed simple friendship. When I do not hear her it was intolerable and more during weekends due to slow teltalk (as both of us are married) and it seem as if time has stopped when we are together . . . noticed also that I find in her all the required criteria of the ideal woman.
Psychologically I'm down!!!

Know that it's difficult to entertain this sort of double relationship for long and can no longer managed to make both of them happy - Hence I'm alone to suffer and worst I was lying to the one with whom I was supposed to spend my life time.

I cannot talk to the above to any body due to wrong advices and psychforum is my only way to escape . . .
Thks for yr earliest return

Luc

An ideal woman huh? A woman who is betraying an oath that she made to another man. Wait! Your doing the same thing! Maybe you two deserve each other. Your poor wife and the other womans Husband deserve better, that is for sure.
If you choose this new woman be prepared. One day, you are going to wonder, will this woman betray me too? And if you don't wonder it, she will will about you.
A person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
I don't think you are here for help, I think you are here for permission. You won't get it from me.
One

I appreciate onebravegirl's post - She said what I would liked to have said, but maybe wouldn't have. What I was originally going to say was that I do'nt believe you actually like this other woman for who she is. What you're missing in your life is just a different social connection - i.e. other than your family. Family life can be stressful and boring, can't it? While not exactly encouraging you to go out, get drunk, and hook-up with another woman, I AM encouraging you to just go out and enjoy yourself. Have something else other than family-life in your life: bowling; cinema; watch the game in the pub on a regular basis; etc.

Maybe I'm wrong in what I've said here. please let me know if I am.

Kevin