Not sure where to post this but I need some help.

Hey,

I'm new here this is my first post, I wasn't sure where to post this but I do not have an official diagnosis or anything like that I have never been to a therapist or a mental health doctor before, but I feel like I need some help , I just don't feel right.

A little bit about me, I am a 22 year old male , currently in college, I go online because it just worked out that way, I have anxiety about being away from home, I tried going to university for a year and a semester it just didn't work out. Anyways I am doing fine in school passing all of my classes. I have a good relationship with my parents etc. everything is all right. I don't have many friends just one that I sometimes text from high school , he works and we don't see each other very much at all, but we still text each other. I have some phobias about graduating and finding a job but that should be normal like most people my age. I stopped driving after I had an accident , no injuries however it ended up going the usual route with suing etc . which has made me terrified to drive I only drive to the grocery store about a mile away any more. If I wasn't already paranoid that made me even more paranoid and afraid of society than I already am. I am all right with not driving though it seems many people do fine with walking to work or living in areas where cars aren't needed. Anyways that is a bit of background about me.

Here is my problem:

This was about 3 years ago

I used to work as a busboy in a restaurant, I didn't even stay very long only 2 months . It was really gross and I have phobias of human waste and germs and just gross stuff in general. I just can't handle being near other peoples waste and working that job I had to change restroom trashcans etc and it was really gross, I'm actually having trouble talking about it. I tried to put it out of my head but I can't stop feeling disgusting, I just feel unclean like I will never be able to be myself again. I do not think it is OCD but from what I have read I don't have compulsions , I did when I worked there every night I had a cleaning ritual I vigorously washed myself and before I left I poured bleach on my hands and arms , it helped me feel better at the moment burned off some skin though. However I was fine the past few years and up until a few days ago i started feeling really weird and disgusted with myself like a relapse for some reason. I don't know if it was brought on by stress but I just cant stop feeling gross and disgusted with having been near all that stuff. I mean I understand the body regenerates new skin cells and hair cells, but I cannot shake this feeling of immense uncleanliness and disgust.

I'm not sure what I should do to feel better but thanks for taking the time to read this.

Hey, I'm new too and don't know where to post my stuff. It sounds relatively like an ocd behavior to me and what I reccommend is that YOU DO NOT POUR BLEACH ON YOURSELF. Having a cleaning ritual is not terrible, so long as you are rest assured that you will be clean after this. Filth cannot haunt you from afar, understand this, and that if you have washed yourself once and not touched anything the dirt will not magically return at the thought of it. Sorry I don't know much about this.

I have no idea how your family ambience is , but you need help , It's obvious.