Extreme Jealousy and Insecurity

So... I'm a guy. A girl I have a sort of passing interest in (but an attachment to, nonetheless) at my work got a promotion to manager of her department.

I just have an uncontrollable infatuation, but I have zero interest in seriously pursuing her.

Yet, despite this, I have these extreme feelings of saltiness and jealousy. Like, I feel like my blood is made of sulphuric acid level jealousy.

I have this sort of unshakable but irrational mindset that I just "should" be outshining her for several reasons (probably for some stupid narcissistic reason like "I'm working on a college degree and she isn't, so I should just be better than her"). I don't know what the hell to do, and this reaction is extremely typical of me for any girl I get sort of interested in who I feel has something, anything on me.

She's worked there for fewer months, but clearly more hours. I know exactly why she would be in a position for that and I wouldn't be because I'm fluctuating between part and full time to focus on school.

It's just.... I can't even fathom how my brain is actually doing this to me.

I have had general problems with feeling secure about myself lately (I screwed up with school really badly for a year), even though I thought I had that general problem relatively taken care of.

I find it disgusting that I feel this way - it's like I just want to ruin her for "one-upping me" in an imaginary competition that isn't even a fair comparison. It's not helping that it's summer and I'm relatively isolated with contact with friends every week or two.

Basically, I feel extreme jealousy, rage and depression all at once.... I have no idea what the hell to do about it. Maybe I'm a narcissist who sees through his own narcissistic #######4 because I was brought up with an attitude of self-examination.

I would think the first step after admitting it is talk to someone about it. It sounds like there is a lot of comparing and feeling not good enough going on there. You are pretty self aware of whats going on...have you considered going deeper and understanding why you feel this way? Therapy could be an option cause sometimes its hard to figure things out by yourself.