Buddies?

I think it would be cool if this site started a buddy system. Older members can pair themselves with newer ones, so that no one ever checks in to a host of posts without reply. I know when I feel lonely, that just makes me feel lonelier, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Even if it's just a "hang in there" or checking in via PM when someone hasn't logged on or posted in a while.

sounds like an idea

I have some reservations about it. Partly because I know that I'd be a terrible buddy! I would need an app to remind me to check if someone hadn't been around for a while. And I do drop out of contact without notice.

Also though. Longer term members also have their own stuff going on. It's not at all unusual for them to be away for a while themselves. So the newer members might feel even more lonely. Maybe make guesses about why the other is away. "I was PMing them too much. I was too needy. They don't like me." That are going to be really painful. As well as probably not true.

And finally. We always have many, many more newbies than long term people. You can see in most forums. People ask questions which don't get answered. If they do get an answer. They often don't reply. And very few stick around to give support in their turn. So I think it would be asking a lot of longer term members. To make this kind of commitment. To newer members who may literally never return. Or are here for a short while. But not long enough to support in turn.

As it is. The forums are open 24/7. And many parts have chattier threads like "How are you feeling today." Or there's always lots going on in just-for-fun/ Keeping support forum centred. Means that no one's disadvantaged by being in the "wrong" timezone. And anyone can support anyone else. There's no seniority. No one's paid to be here. We all just help each other as best we can.

Hi,
Though i agree with Ada on the "commitment" side of the comment, i do totally understand Toefreckles post coz ive also felt like i post replies and open up and no one comments or anything. I do understand that people have their own lives but isnt this a "support forum" ?
i know i first joined because of the Narcs section originally, but since joining i have seem many posts linked to relationship break ups, mending a broken heart etc...so the site is very helpful...But..could be a little more interactive in some sections IMO

Echinacea wrote:I do understand that people have their own lives but isnt this a "support forum" ?

I think what can be missing. Is the idea that everyone needs to give support as well as get it. Or the whole thing doesn't work. In exactly the ways you describe. When people just want their own question answered. And then disappear without even acknowledging responses. It creates an imbalance. We're not a professional service. It's not like a Helpline. Where the support is consciously and openly one way.

Giving support can actually be a very powerful way. To explore your own issues more deeply. Reflect on your own successes. Or to think more clearly about new ways to help yourself. But of course we can't make people do it.

Ada wrote: Is the idea that everyone needs to give support as well as get it.

Yes Of course, and i see that many people have in many of the other forums.
I have added a few people as friends after ive commented on a post or ive been in same situation as them to try and support them But all is quiet.
Of course you cant "make them" comment or support others, i just agreed that in some sections there is no activity,replies or advice.