About the forum rules.

I agree with the forum rules completely, but I have things to say about two of the rules.

•IF YOU ARE SUICIDAL, DO NOT POST HERE, PLEASE CALL 1-800-SUICIDE. (1-800-784-2433)

•DO NOT POST GRAPHIC OR DESCRIPTIONS OF PLANS FOR OR ACTS OF SELF-INJURY OR SUICIDE.

I agree we should call that hotline if were feeling suicidal, that's the best thing to do.
There have been times I've felt suicidal and talking about it here helped me, confusing.
I feel bad that I've broke those rules in the past, but it really helped me to talk about it.

I respect every one running this website, I hope I'm not in the wrong saying these things.

The second rule I agree with completely as well.
Sometimes people that self harm need to share there habits though to get support.
I know in the past I've had to say things in the self harm forum, it helped me to share.

Please don't delete this thread without reading it first, it would really bother me.

I'm sure this website has to enforce those rules by law, and I respect that.
I just wish if you guys have to enforce these rules by law, they would change the law.
I've been helped greatly in the past being able to talk about my problems.
I just recently was directed to the forum rules and had to share my concerns here.

Thank you so much for reading this, please read it all, I hope I don't get banned.

Brumble wrote:I agree we should call that hotline if were feeling suicidal, that's the best thing to do.
There have been times I've felt suicidal and talking about it here helped me, confusing.
I feel bad that I've broke those rules in the past, but it really helped me to talk about it.

I didn't write those rules. But my understanding is that this is "just" a peer support forum. No one here is trained to help suicidal people. Also we have a huge number of members with very big hearts. Who will try to help anyone they can. Even when sometimes [like someone being actively suicidal] the problem is too big for them. Many here can relate to suicidal feelings or urges. So it can depend to some extent on how bad things are. Hopefully it's not so bad that venting here can't help. But when it IS that bad. Calling a local helpline is important. And is much higher priority than posting.

Sometimes people that self harm need to share there habits though to get support.
I know in the past I've had to say things in the self harm forum, it helped me to share.

Right, yes. That's why there is a Self Harm forum at all. The rule is around being overly graphic. It doesn't help me if I am so explicit when trying explain myself that I trigger other people. If they're triggered, they probably won't be able to offer any support at all. So there's a balance between being open about self harm. And going too much into detail which is triggering or stressful for other people. Again, the important thing is that each poster is responsible for themselves. However tough things are [and it can get REALLY tough ]. It's still down to each of us what we write. And how we share.

The common aspect of both of these rules is around being responsible. And respecting the other people here by not asking too much of them. Everyone's here with a struggle of some sort. Many are willing to help if they can. That can be a difficult balance to maintain. And extremes of self harm / suicidal thoughts, can tip the balance in a way that risks hurting many people at once. Hence the emphasis on finding appropriate help outside the forum when needed.

Thank you Ada, that gave me some relief from my concerns.
Helped me understand the forum rules a little better as well.
I guess I just needed some things cleared up.

Ada wrote:But my understanding is that this is "just" a peer support forum.

But my understanding is that it is a support and open discussion forum, cause it says so all over the place; it is advertised as such.

I mean just peer support, rather than professional or formal support.

Ada wrote:I mean just peer support, rather than professional or formal support.

But it would be nice if that peer support included more interaction from the mods. I understand that the mods have their hands full, but I feel safer and more at ease when they're around and I wish you guys would be more active in the boards.

I think I understand, blank identity. But maybe I don't. Because I can't speak for all the mods. But interaction from me is no different to interaction from you. Or Brumble or no-mans-land.

[Well, that's not quite true. If someone goes rogue and starts trying to sell me Uggs or Viagra. There will be a difference in how I can handle it. But in general, I'm just people, same as everyone else.]

Having typed this much, I don't think I do understand. Since reading literally, I'd find that pressure to "be visibly around" a little daunting. I just do what I can. And I know relatively little about anything.

I'll draw you an analogy, albeit one that is not necessarily accurate, but gets the point across.

You're walking down a street with a lot of people around. These people are not necessarily good or bad. Having visible police around, walking around, policing the streets, may make you feel better and more at ease because it makes you feel safer. Because in case something happens they are right there to help.

The same goes with me here. Having mods around, interacting and being active in the board, makes me feel more safe and at ease here.

Just having mods around to step in if ever needed puts me at ease.

The BPD board is a perfect example of that, and is why I miss littlearcher. She was very active, fair, and a pro-active moderator, and she made me feel safe there.

Ada wrote:

OMG, I can´t believe you are flirting with me.

blank identity wrote:

I don´t think that analogy works well, first of all, you are not going to get physically beaten up through cyberspace and you can foe list people at any time here, however you can´t foe list mods which is something I don´t like as have been triggered by things mods have said.

Ada wrote:I'm just people