co-dependence with alcoholic martyr

My very good, long-time friend is an alcoholic and a martyr, leading a high drama life; we spend 75% of our time addressing her woes but no solution is ever possible in her mind. For 16 yrs. she was married to a cruel cheat. Since their divorce, MANY other dramas have filled her life. She rarely discussed her ex at all and then only with me, blaming him for lost youth/opportunities. Last month she found out her ex is terminally ill and now he is consuming her life again. He is remarried and has ignored all her attempts to reach out - they still haven't spoken; yet she says she wishes it were her, not him; their failed marriage probably triggered his illness; she will never move on until she finds someone like him. She uses terms like "we" when discussing him, like "the medical treatments are tough but we are muddling through." If I don't broach The Subject, she freezes me out for days. And now she has an excuse to drink every day. Recently she texted me, drunk, about it but I couldn't chat as it was a bad time for me. So she told me she needed to rethink our friendship. I blew up & told her I was over the manipulation and drama, and her drinking is making things worse (this isn't helping my own hard-earned sobriety either) Now she won't speak to me cuz I am "judging her". My method was poor but was I wrong to detach? How can I help her without enabling her?

My apologies, I see now this isn't the correct forum so I reposted this appropriately. sorry, I am new to this . .