My mom needs mental help

My mom has a mental disorder, she is on disability (Social Security) right now. She refuses to see a doctor for her condition because she thinks she isn't crazy, and the last few days she has gotten worse. She sings some songs which make no sense and dances outside which is embarassing as the neighbors can see this. But, they probably already know she isn't right in the head. She screams and has mood swings. Cries one moment then laughs. Says things which make no sense and the list goes on. For several years now she hasn't been a normal mother. And now Social Security wants to examine her again, because every few years they are supposed to. And she doesn't want to go, so she will lose her benefits. So if she isn't willing to seek treatment, can she be forced to? My father wants me to call a hospital, and have that hospital come to our house and take her away. But, I am not sure if that is possible. She really needs help, she will probably keep on getting worse with time. I would rather her get help on her own will, because I don't want to see her being taking away to a hospital for who knows how long. But, it seems like the only choice we have.

can i ask you - if she had given birth to you knowing she was crazy, would you hold that against her? would you think she was a bad mother because of that?

i ask only because im afraid of having children, because of that.
my significant other says he'd be ok not having children, but i can see how much he wants them..

none....crazy is an open term....can imply a lot of things to a lot of people.....what do you feel you are dealing w/? Raising children is VERY hard. VERY challenging...very rewarding! Bear in mind that mental illness can be hereditary too...do you want to pass that on to your children?
Have you been diagnosed? Are you in treatment? What does your counselor (persay you are in treatment) say about the idea of your having children? Does he feel you can handle this? If you feel that what you face w/ your mental illness is hard enough to bear....I'd give the idea of having children LOTS of thought and consideration. Children deserve to be raised in a loving/stable environment. If you know from even before the start of that life that you'd have a hard time providing that....then yes....you really need to consider seriously the idea of having a child. You need to put a child's wants and needs ahead of your own hearts' desire.

But having said all that .....there are many types of mental illnesses a person can be dealing w/ and still make great parents. I am diagnosed w/ cyclothymia and OCPD...and I have two BEAUTIFUL daughters ages 6 and 4. I feel I'm doing a good job as a mother....but I won't lie...there are times when my mental illness is so bad that I don't feel I do right my by daughters and they bear the brunt of some of what I go through. I don't want that for them and so then I have to work even harder at staying on top of my illness and taking care of myself...for me...and for them.

She was normal when she gave birth to me and my sister. Then later she became mentally ill. It may have been triggered by some very stressful and traumatic events which happened to her.

None: It depends on how well you are managing your mental illness. Are you on medication? Is it working for you? Those are important questions. Also, how long have you been able effectively managing your mental illness? If you have managed it, for the most part, effectively for years, you might be able to be a great parent as long as you pay attention to the illness and signs of it getting worse and stay on your medication. The same questions could be asked of other types of illness, not just mental. A person considering having children that has a non-mental, fatal illness could ask the same questions.

However, I think the hardest question is, Do you want to have children if you know they are at higher risk to develop mental disorders as well?
Of course, there is risk in giving birth to any child. A child may come into the world healthy mentally and physically, but later on have other types of problems that can be just as difficult, but that doesn't necessarily mean they'll wish they had never been born.
Good luck!

James

I did this and now I regret it. My children are 16 and 19 and they say they wish I had not chosen to have them because their life has been harder and more embarassing than if they had had a non mentally ill mother. I wish I had not had them too because they are now experiencing depression, ADD and mood disorders which is negatively affecting their ability to get a good education. They are failing at school. Now I fear for their futures. It was selfish of me to have them knowing there was something wrong with me that I could pass on to them. My mother was mentally ill too and I wish she had not had me either. My life has been hell. I thought I could break the cycle with my children but it has continued. So I've counseled them not to have biological children but adopt instead or use egg and sperm donation after extensive resaerch into the donors background.
I am totally against mentally ill people having children now.
It is a burden on the children that they don't deserve as they come into this world innocent.

But they are people!!! And no one should ever regret that people were brought into the world. There's a special purpose for each and every human on this earth, and for each of them that eventually will be on this earth. And wether you have mentally ill parents or not, life is going to be hell at times anyway. It started with the fall, and it isn't going to end until the world ends. Every person on this earth is a miracle. And that includes you and your children!!