maybe triggering

Hi I'm new here and it's my first time posting. I have been diagnosed with bipolar, borderline personality disorder, ptsd, anorexia, and self harm. My meds just got changed but heres my combo: lamictal, seroquel, geodon, lithium, klonopin, and zoloft. I was on different meds but as usual a few months go by and they stop working. When that happens I usually self harm. My therapist says it will take up to four weeks for my new meds to take effect. It's going to be a long four weeks. I use coping skills, keeping my hands busy, trying to talk myself out of cutting with no success. All I have to rely on is these meds kicking in soon. I cut to silence the storm in my head. Anything for some peace. Last time when we went to new meds I went for months without cutting. I'm hoping and praying i'll do the same this time. I hate what I do but i got to stop that storm and cutting in truth is addictive. thanks for listening to me..

I don't self-harm but I definitely know exactly what you are talking about. Sometimes, well often times, I have that storm in my head that you are talking about. It is beyond my control most of the time and I can't seem to stop it unless I either drink, play video games (underrated distraction), or write on one of these forums. I am only 21, and have a whole life ahead of me, but 9 days out of 10 I feel like there is nothing left to live for. I too am taking medication. I just started about 2 days ago. I am taking Lexapro. It is a fairly new drug and works a lot like Paxil to relieve my anxiety. That "storm" as you describe I think is an obessive way of thinking about our problems and hatred for ourselves. Most of it is subconcious but we still feel the effects. What can we do other than just try to see if it will eventually let up?

lovechell69,

I can relate to you. I used to SI when I didn't know how to cope with what was going on in my life. It helped ease the pain inside...but only temporarliy. I have a background of DID, PTSD, Depression, Anorexia & SI'ing. It took me a while but I was able to improve my outlook on my life by changing my belief system to a more positive one. That took a lot of hard work. There never really has been too many calm periods in my life. It seems like it's always something or another.

I haven't SI'd for a good 7 or so years. Through cognitive behavior therapy I was able to learn new, more healthy ways of coping with the storm that was going off in my head.

I've been on so many different meds that it isn't even possible for me to remember all of them. Right now I am doing well on the ones I am on.

lovechell69, hopefully your meds will kick in soon and while you are waiting why not do something extra nice to yourself. I never used to treat me too good, but I have changed that and enjoy pampering myself here and there.

Wishing you well...

Kathy

Hey!
I read your post and found myself in a similar situation. I cut too, and most of the time it is to stop the "storm in my head". I've been diagnosed with panic disorder with some agoraphobia, and depression. I have really low self esteem and when my head is just telling me how stupid I am, then thats when I cut. To shut my head up.
Theres an all new Self-Harm forum, in the general forums on this site. You should talk in there with a few of us, who post there often. It helps . I hope everything is going okay in the meantime.