hi new here :)

Well I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder this year. I am not sure what type I am we never discussed that. I guess as a child it was always there but not as bad as it got as a teenager and I don’t think I ever realized what it was. My symptoms do not really sound like some of the other posts here but I guess everyone is different. When I was 14 or 16 cant remember I had my first anxiety attack at least I think that’s what it was or it was a severe down for me I can’t recall today what it felt like because it was so long ago. When I was 18 I had a definite attack. I have always had ups and downs in my personality if that makes sense to you and this is going back as far as I can remember. One minute I feel like I am in control in the next I feel like the bottom is going to fall out. It has gotten worse in the last few years well I would say five really. I always felt like I could control it but really deep down I knew I couldn’t. I haven’t worked I guess in three years because I have not felt like I was stable enough to be able to. My husband does not understand the whole depression thing his response is what you have to be depressed about I guess that is the typical response for some. So two years ago he took me to see a psychiatrist he gave me some meds I took them for awhile but hated the way they made me feel. So I went on with my life with out them thinking I could deal with it like I could in the past up until last year. I hit a severe bout of depression. I was just tired of always feeling down and hopeless and worthless to be honest. So I finally did something about it I went to a therapist who diagnosed me as bipolar I then went and got meds. I am currently on Zoloft which they just increased my dosage to 100mg I was told to come back in three to four weeks and let the doc know how it was working for me. I also take neurontin for epilepsy and I am in the process of switching over to lamictal. I see a lot of you guys take it for your BP. So really I have a lot of things going on the anxiety and the depression. My anxiety isn’t as bad as the depression though. I hope that one day I can be stable.

Welcome. Yes, a lot of us are bipolar. I've been bipolar for many years and have learned to live with it. It did take me a while to get stabilized though.
Good luck,
Jim S

Dear you didn't mention clearly the symptoms but any how I would share these information with you.
The epilepcy is two kinds. one type is physical and the other type is spiritual. If you check your brain and the doctors say nothing about it, I mean every thing is working normally? so I guess it would be an epilipcy a result from demon spirit. this is true and fact.
So you have to ckeck this by a very special therapy. I know some good therapists dealing with such disorders. pls. contact me for more information.
omar@hadeed.com.sa

Thanks for opening up. I too am new though I have been diagnosed for over 2 1/2 years now - it has not been easy and I struggle constantly with whether I believe the doctors or not - I am much worse off than most think initially and yet when I meet one that actually gives me a diagnosis, I run scared from their office. The first chance i have to kick meds, I take it. This whole metal illness thing is terrifying to me and I don't cope very well as it is and sleep all of 3-4 hours a night in over 2 years.

Sounds like bipolar I disorder, from the brief description that you gave. My girlfriend of 2 years has bipolar disorder, although it's a different case than most. I'm new here as well, Hi everyone!

I don't have bipolar disorder but I do have clinical major depression. You lucky bastards at least have a mania side in which you can accomplish a whole shitload! Just look at Ted Turner! I'm jk, I understand it is just as difficult as unipolar disorder. My friend is bipolar and we never quite understood what was wrong with him. While we were growing up he was always unstable in one way or another, mentally and emotionally. His parents were a big deal around town since they were both lawyers and politicians. His mother actually wanted to run for the U.S. Senate but was afraid my friend (her son) would somehow make headlines for something he did. I was actually quite healthy growing up. I have a good family and always had what I wanted materially. But for some reason I kind of tweaked when I got to high school. The funny thing is, no matter how messed up I am emotionally and mentally, I still manage to get laid by beautiful women, sometimes. I guess some people don't quite see what is going on underneath. But anyway, I forget what this post was supposed to be about. Oh yes, bipolar. My theory about that is that the lows are very similar to unipolar depression except the person with bipolar also has highs or mania. This seems to have two effects. One, the bipolar person has an opportunity to lift out of their awful lows. Two, the bipolar person has a hard time managing their highs or lows because they are constantly changing. The unipolar person (myself) learns eventually to manage their awful moods because they live with them constantly and any sign of improvement is very very gradual and therefore, is learned usually. But medication is usually reccommended, at least initially, for both disorders. I am currently considering taking Lexipro for my condition, but I am yet to see how that will turn out. Good luck to the rest of you!

jen_35 wrote:Thanks for opening up. I too am new though I have been diagnosed for over 2 1/2 years now - it has not been easy and I struggle constantly with whether I believe the doctors or not - I am much worse off than most think initially and yet when I meet one that actually gives me a diagnosis, I run scared from their office. The first chance i have to kick meds, I take it. This whole mental illness thing is terrifying to me and I don't cope very well as it is and sleep all of 3-4 hours a night in over 2 years.

I think that you point out a very important, oft over-looked aspect of mental illness: that it is horribly frightening! I too struggle on a daily basis dealing with my terrible anxiety and fear about losing my mind or that I've already lost it. But I think that if you understand and recognize that your thinking is faulty then you definitely still have a grasp of reality. I am still in the process of coping with my diagnosis of major depressive disorder. It's almost like when a doctor tells someone that they have cancer, that person usually needs immediate counseling either from a therapist or a family member. The same goes for mental illness. When you are diagnosed it is hard to accept that and difficult to come to terms with it. But the true struggle is from within. Most people, if you were to tell them you have some sort of mental illness, will be understanding and actually, I've found, forget after a few weeks. The real guilt and shame and everything else is an element of your own personal struggle with accepting that you are ill. I am not a pyschologist or psychiatrist but let me suggest to you that you should take medication, at least initially, for your problems. You are much more able to get a hold of what is truly at fault, and just the stabilizing effect of them is enough to calm some of the fears that arise after a diagnosis.