Scared and confused...

I'm not exactly sure what's going on with me. I'm working on getting to a doctor and trying to get a hold of my old therapist but I'm hoping for something to reassure me I'm not going crazy.

Everything came up about a week and a half ago. I was visiting my sister in Sacramento when I started to feel strange. It's hard for me to explain - almost a combination of being high/not sleeping in a long time. I look at my hands, I know their my hands, but they dont FEEL like my hands. I dont feel emotion like I used to - that warm feeling welling up inside when I'd see my dog or my fiance isn't there anymore. I don't laugh very much and when I do it's always forced. My sex drive is at a 0. I don't take pleasure in the things I used to love to do, like reading and writing. In fact, I can't even concentrate enough to read. I find myself staring a lot. I'll look out the window at a tree and find myself not blinking or thinking about anything then suddenly realize 5 minutes has gone by. If someone was talking to me at the time I don't really hear what their saying or remember when I snap out of it.

I also find myself insanely tired throughout the day. If I close my eyes I feel like I haven't slept in days but when I try to sleep at night all hell breaks loose. I feel very anxious if I'm the only one awake in the house and when I actually try to sleep I get these "jolts" of panic as soon as I feel myself falling alseep. I used to sleep like the dead but now I wake up every 2 hours and when I actually get up for the day it seems like I didn't sleep at all. Even if it was for 10+ hours (which is what it's been lately) I don't feel rested or refreshed. In fact as soon as I realize I'm awake my heart starts pounding really hard and I get that panic'd feeling.

I'm really scared. I don't feel normal. All of this stuff just suddenly popped up for no reason (as far as I can tell). I've also been feeling a tightness/soreness in my chest 24/7 and have had a total loss of appitite. I don't feel hungry or crave food. I've lost over 10lbs in the last week. It's hard for me to do every day things like go to the grocery store with my fiance. When I do, by the time we are done I'm completely wiped out. The only thing that makes me feel somewhat normal is vegitating in front of the T.V.

Has anyone else experienced this? Will I ever feel normal again? I'm at my wits end thinking this will last forever, in fact I often find myself thinking I'd rather be dead then keep feeling like this. Any advice would be immensely appreciated.

You being aware is a start. Would you mind sharing to us events in your life when all these started?

I was gearing up to go to a community college and trying to get a job so I could move out of my Mom's place. The only thing out of the ordinary is two skipped menses. I took 5+ home pregnancy tests all came back negative so I'm assuming it is due to stress and only made worse by these feelings. I had just quit smoking. My Grandparents were both sick and in the hospital but I never really knew them. Other then that just normal day to day stuff. Had trouble sleeping one night (my nephew was being loud on the xbox) and the next morning I woke up feeling like this. It hasn't gone away since.

Sorry for replying late.

You mentioned "stress". Would you mind describing your current stresses to us? How about your childhood?

Have you consulted an obstetrician now?

I'm kinda of interested in what has happened to you since this post.