abnormal?

i went to a party on friday night and i realised how much i actually hate socialising! we went to a girls house before and everyone was getting dressed and preening and i just felt so out of it!

then this one girl was walking up and down in front of the mirror and looked at herself, pouted and said "omg, i am gorgeous!" and at that moment i wanted to run screaming from the room!

it all seems so fake and superficial and i feel like i'm acting the whole time. i'm really worried about becoming a social reject though (as my one teacher called me!-she was joking though )

i would honestly rather spend the day in my room reading, sleeping or playing a computer game than going out with friends! i dread getting invites from people to go to the shops or beach or anything, but i don't want to become totally excluded. if i don't go out with people, it's not like they'll not be my friends, because i do have friends at school who i haven't gone out with anywhere for years or ever!

my mom just keeps on saying that i'm going to lose friends if i just sit around all weekends, but that's what i really want! (to sit around, not lose friends!)

i work so hard on my friendships all through the week that by the weekend i want to just collapse, and also i have a sleep problem, so i need to sleep a lot on the weekend.

is this me being a freak?

You're not being a freak at all. Not everyone likes to socialise as much as most people do. Others might be pretending too, actually. As long as you're content with the way things are, there is nothing wrong. You could tell your mom that some of your friends stay at home during the weekends too.

I hate socialising too. I have no idea why you wouldn't think it was fake and superficial anyways.....Girls...dressing up...complimenting themselves....I would be running from the room screaming too! I had friends like that who spent all this time on their appearance and me? Well I was content to wear whatever I had on.

Your mum is right...you'll lose friends if you don't socialise and talk with them....I've lost many but I dont care...I don't liek people that try and make me run with the pack...I'm more of a loner anyways.

Lastly....you aren't being a freak..that's calling half the population freaks....a lot of people either hate or have trouble socialising. I personally hate it. The effort to be accepted into society for conforming...i'm not for it.

So just go with the flow....whatever you feel like doing you should do. Not to make everyone else happy (never become a people pleaser) but to make yourself happy. And if people drift away from you because you're happy well...they're just a bunch of conformists.

sorry, i realised as i posted that i'd put it in the wrong forum but didn't know how to change it...

it's holidays now for like 2 months and i hate holidays, which is something i've never told people at my school because i'd really be a weirdo then there's just so much time and i get bored sitting at home, but i also don't want to go out. so i usually end up sleeping all the time to try to escape/make time go faster

anyone else ever had that problem?

Hi scarred_cutter,
I never like socializing too. When I was a teenager, I tried to hang out with those popular kids, but I just can't fit in. I don't understand all those gossips and everything they talked about. I don't like to go shopping, party, etc.
I just like to be at home playing games, watch movies, read books, do what I like, etc. Yeah, I guess I'm a loner

But I do like holidays though, cause I like to sleep and sit in front of computer playing games all day, or playing games with my brothers. And sometimes I draw things I want to draw, yeah I like to draw too.

Maybe you've got something that you really really like to do? Make it like a personal project of your own? So that you can spend your holiday more meaningful. Or maybe, take a vacation with your family? Have a good time with them, etc.

Excuse my horrible English, it's not my native language, and I'm trying to write as good as I can, cause I rarely write

hey, your english isn't bad at all! i didn't even notice that it's not your first language!!

i actually do have something that can keep me quite busy...my room is all pink and fluffy with stars and heart and i LOVE my room, but on some days i just want to have a room that's black and shows my other, more gothic side. so my parents agreed to give me this little storeroom that's under our stairs. it's tiny, just big enough to stand in and about 2 metres in length by 1 metre...anyways, i've been redoecorating it, so i can work on that

it looks great so far! i've taken read paint and just splashed it everywhere so it looks like blood all over and then i've sloshed "forgive me" over the main wall, with hand prints all over (as if someone was killed and was sliding down the wall) kind of gruesome i know, but i love it!

and i've been writing poetry and little sayings all over the walls in marker, so i can carry on with that

the people i hang out with aren't really popular...but they do like themselves. funnily enough there's this one girl who is really popular, but who i really connect with. we don't hang out or anything because we're like two different classes of human beings, but i talk to her a lot on IM and we are actually really similar!

she'd never want to really be my friend though, i'm too much of a freak, but she's nice to talk to every once in a while.

sometimes i wish there was someone who i see every week who i could really talk to. i talk to people but mostly will never see them in my life (like with u guys) or only see them twice a year (with my one friend who i talk about everything with) i talk t oa psychologist, but it's not the same hey, because she can't hug me or anything?

it gets kind of lonely here...i need someone who can just hold me and i can tell them stuff without thinking they're going to judge me or will tell the whole school

Nah sometimes we go through phases where we just feel like doing our own thing, nothing wrong with that. If you lose these friends you can always make more later. You also just may not be compatible with them, and that could be driving you farther away from them. Friends are precious, but like most things in life, it depends on the person with the person. I may have chemistry with one person you will not. No big deal, there is a big life ahead of you filled with friends, no reason to stress being alone now if that is what will make you the most happy.

yeah i'm chilling with the knowledge that when i go to varsity i can use that opportunity to make new friends, as most of my school friends won't come with me. also, i've only got two more years of school, so even if i lose all my friends, it's not THAT long