How do you get along with people you live with? Or do you?

Hi, I’m just brainstorming here. Feel free to chime in or not. I’ve found limiting the time I spend with others helpful. I also try to focus on our commonalities rather than our differences. I use anger & irritability management skills when I feel anger & irritability. Meditation. Practicing self-care in general. Going gray rock. Lowering expectations. Distress tolerance. Acceptance.

How about you?

Having firm but flexible boundaries & practicing assertiveness has also been helpful to me.

You’ve got to know who you’re dealing with, starting with you. Know thyself. What are your perceived strengths & weaknesses? Then take into consideration the Other, what are their strengths & weaknesses?

Actions speak louder than words. Anybody can say any damn thing (& they usually do), but what are their actions? That’s what I go by, but everyone is a unique, special, & sensitive snowflake.

Having a plan of escape if things go sideways is a good idea. I’m at a place now where I’m ready to start implementing a plan for independent living. I’m volunteering at a place & working on home based businesses. Next step is employment & piling up the money to buy a place.

It will take time & effort. It’s not going to magically fall into my lap. Nobody is going to rescue me. I have to rescue myself, but the thought of escape does give me hope, even though it won’t be perfect. Nothing is perfect.

Not everyone can live independently, so if I can pull it off again, I will feel fortunate.

In my experience, the way to their hearts are through their stomachs. I learned this from childhood carers.

I just don't start $#%^ unless they do.

I usually don't respond unless they start doing negative things that effect me.

Hi JackDoe. Thanks for your input.

Journaling Exercise:
1) other person’s behavior.
2) how this behavior seems controlling.
3) how this behavior might be the other person taking care of themselves.

I'm very fortunate in that my husband offers me a great deal of support for my anxiety. We really don't have any issues. If I get upset about something I will usually walk away and write, as it is hard to me to verbalize my emotions and he knows that.

He also decided we should have a nonverbal sign for me in public (I have social phobia) so I can alert him if I start getting overwhelmed so we can leave without drawing too much attention to me.

So I guess to answer your question in a nutshell, I get along with the people I live with by the fact that they are my support system and we have taken the time to learn what works for both of us (he has Asperger's, so he has his own challenges).

Thank you for replying YahaKui.

I don't... I need to learn coping skills..... I start a lot of arguments cuz I'm really irritated. I really need to go to anger management classes!