Unhealthy Habit Of Stalking Girls Social Media

I didn't really know where to post this since I don't consider myself to have OCD, mainly because I don't like to put myself in that box.

Anyways, In my sophomore year of high school, there was this girl who was put into one of my classes and in the beginning, I was just neutral about her. But then I started to really like her. She sort of had this "Alpha/feminized" feel to her that I admired. I was terrified to talk to her. But one day while walking home from school we crossed paths and I spoke up. It's important to know that I have a stutter so it was a disaster from the beginning. Needless to say, I felt pretty accomplished.

So over the semester we had together. We spoke a few other times and I was going to let her know how I felt but she ended up moving schools. Here is where it starts to get a little creepy.

I needed to know where this girl was. I already knew where she lived (We ended up walking to her house one day from school). I needed to know where she goes to school now. And I did find out through googling her. After that, I started to research her social media. Which I had now had access to. But I couldn't just text her "Hey, its (Name), Remember me?" And so on. I was ashamed. She would know I was stalking her.

Most likely I would never see her again so I would just stalk her social media every day. (She found out I followed her on Instagram so she blocked me but I just made another account) And I mean every day. There were a few days where I wouldn't because I was busy with stuff. But this girl was in my mind every day. I couldn't let her go. That was 5 years ago. I still do it to this day. We're both in college now. I know which college she goes to. And today I realized, will I just keep on doing this? Do I even want to stop? I still can't let her go. I don't know If I want help. I need some clarity.

Xius11 wrote:I didn't really know where to post this since I don't consider myself to have OCD, mainly because I don't like to put myself in that box.

Anyways, In my sophomore year of high school, there was this girl who was put into one of my classes and in the beginning, I was just neutral about her. But then I started to really like her. She sort of had this "Alpha/feminized" feel to her that I admired. I was terrified to talk to her. But one day while walking home from school we crossed paths and I spoke up. It's important to know that I have a stutter so it was a disaster from the beginning. Needless to say, I felt pretty accomplished.

So over the semester we had together. We spoke a few other times and I was going to let her know how I felt but she ended up moving schools. Here is where it starts to get a little creepy.

I needed to know where this girl was. I already knew where she lived (We ended up walking to her house one day from school). I needed to know where she goes to school now. And I did find out through googling her. After that, I started to research her social media. Which I had now had access to. But I couldn't just text her "Hey, its (Name), Remember me?" And so on. I was ashamed. She would know I was stalking her.

Most likely I would never see her again so I would just stalk her social media every day. (She found out I followed her on Instagram so she blocked me but I just made another account) And I mean every day. There were a few days where I wouldn't because I was busy with stuff. But this girl was in my mind every day. I couldn't let her go. That was 5 years ago. I still do it to this day. We're both in college now. I know which college she goes to. And today I realized, will I just keep on doing this? Do I even want to stop? I still can't let her go. I don't know If I want help. I need some clarity.

I need a response please.

Well, quitting might be a good idea, yes....

I think from time to time, many of us have done minor 'stalky' things. Like driving past a girl's house, listening to the saddest song on a cassette album, around midnight.

I've totally never done that....

But eventually you just have to either let her go, or make a move. And... she blocked you so... I'd say letting it go is the best thing you can do. It's something you might have to make yourself do- you didn't fall into this habit, in a day, after all. But you just practice at it, just... tell yourself for the next hour, you won't check up on her. Then a little longer the next time.

There's plenty of other girls out there. Letting this one go, opens you up to new possibilities.