Employment Advice

I moved to a small town in the Pacific Northwest and was having an extremely difficult time finding employment. After months of searching and applying I acquired a highly desirable position 5 miles from home. I was ecstatic!
They loved my work and I made several friends quickly. Of course I was resented by the locals who worked there for years who feel they should have been moved up into the position but I am highly skilled in my trade.
I have not had insurance in over a year and could not afford the astronomical costs of my bi polar meds so I just tried to manage it on my own. I slowly began drinking more and more then I found where my fiancé keeps her Valium. alcohol and benzos always sends me off the deep end. I ended up in a hypomanic episode, started a fight with my fiancé and flipped over a bunch of furniture and split in the middle of the night drunk. I drove through crazy ice and snow! I drove an hour to town to the nearest strip club. I was there about 2 hours then it closed. I got in my truck and drove through an insane blizzard all night to Arizona where I met a friend for lunch and drinks. then I went to another friends house and took tequila shots all night with him and his wife. I woke up still drunk, took a tequila shot and went to meet an ex who had recently moved to Phoenix. We had a few drinks and after some smooth talking I ended up at her place. I walked in and slept on the couch for a few hours then woke up and we drank some wine and made dinner together. I desperately attempted to sleep with her but to no avail. I cuddled with her for a few hours then got up at 3am and drove to California where I just went on a ridiculous alcohol Bender talking to the ex the entire time attempting to coerce her into getting back together with me. she had every single symptom of bpd and we were miserable together at the end. It was the rejection and the chase that thrilled me, I don’t think we would ever work together. I was off the deep end big time.

My fiancé was worried about me and flew me back home, my truck is still in Cali.

I texted my boss “there is a guy that owes me $16,000 in California and I’m going to collect, I’ll be back Next Monday to either work or to pick up my personal belongings, your choice” and there actually is and I was planning on going to file a suit against him while I was out there but failed.

A few days later 6 police cars arrived at my farm to do a wellness check, I guess my boss and hr were worried about me.

Obviously I was terminated.

I’m on the east coast now at my mothers detoxing and attempting to level out. I have replaced the bathtub, surround, toilet and plumbing, I’m still full of too much energy. My sister took me to the gym today and I worked out hard for the first time in a few years, it felt amazing. The only way I’ve been able to sleep at all is with trazidone but at least I’m stuck here and there is no alcohol or pills. I’m hoping to quit alcohol forever this time.

I’m gonna need to see a psychiatrist even if I need to pay cash.

I really want my job back.

Do you think if I was to see a psychiatrist and get a letter stating that I’m bipolar and have been in-medicated for over a year and had an episode but now I’m back on medication and under doctors supervision the company might consider re-hiring me?

Or do you think it’s a lost cause?

I was well liked by everyone and do top quality work, I just had an episode.
I feel so crappy now for blowing off a potential career but at the time I did not give two shits.
If I just could have made it to March 1st I would have insurance through the company, here I am now still untreated without insurance or medication.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Earle

You could write an email to your boss explaining the situation.
I wrote an email to mine saying, 'as you know I had a nervous breakdown... etc etc... after therapy n meds I realize my mistake... is there any possibility I can return to work...'

email is better than talking over phone as it gives the other person time to think.

also in case the boss offers you a job of low position or temp job then maybe be prepared for that... like would you be willing to take it...

Thank you for your response.

I hope to see a psychiatrist this next week sometime and hopefully get straightened out. Detoxing on my own from the quantity of alcohol I was consuming without medication has been pure hell. I had one day where I was laughing one minuet then fighting tears and wanting to ball my eyes out the next to a huge wave of anxiety for a bit over and over all day.

I had 48 hours where I felt like I took several strong doses of mdma. My entire body was gently tingling, I din’t sleep a wink, it actually felt amazing but I could not function whatsoever. I felt like I was on some serious hardcore drugs both physically and mentally.

That feeling substantially subsided last night and I came across some seroquel so I took that and now today I’m back on the up, down, anxiety rollercoaster again but not as extreme time as a few days ago.

I need to stay strong and never drink again.

Detoxing on my own from the quantity of alcohol I was consuming without medication has been pure hell. I had one day where I was laughing one minuet then fighting tears and wanting to ball my eyes out the next to a huge wave of anxiety for a bit over and over all day.

been there. n I was like that till I started therapy. please visit one because I wasted 5 years before seeing one. I used to think self help videos would help me but they never do.

I had 48 hours where I felt like I took several strong doses of mdma. My entire body was gently tingling, I din’t sleep a wink, it actually felt amazing but I could not function whatsoever. I felt like I was on some serious hardcore drugs both physically and mentally.

please visit a therapist. if possible meet a friend n confess that you need help.

I need to stay strong and never drink again.

this self promise will not work n you know it. you need to stay strong n convince yourself to seek help. alcohol/sleeping pills/drugs/cigarette/even fast food they're all addictive. if you stop consuming them right away, you'll get withdrawal symptoms. please discuss this with a therapist n ask him for help. self help videos didn't help me. u don't want to end up with major life regrets.