Paranoia Problem?

I seem to have a paranoia problem - the same pattery repeats each time.

I start a new job, with the hope of connecting with people. But, over time, I get excluded, I don't have much to say and I start thinking my manager and supervisor are talking about me behind my back and I will be getting dismissed soon. I keep falling into this pattern and I don't want to. I have all these beliefs popping up all the time.

I recall my childhood - my mum was (I'm convinced) is a narcissist and utterly paranoid. She was always saying her ex-partners were always plotting to destroy her. She said this for years and years. She always thought people were talking about her behind her back. I can recall countless times this happened.

Has my paranoia come from this? I can't think where else it has come from?

Also, I often think I should be paranoid because I have failed in many relationships and knowing this was going to happen. I've had jobs when I've been insecure about my position and I have lost my job.

Am I making this come true by thinking about it all the time? I'm nearly 40 and have struggled with this my entire life. I really need to have this sorted but don't know where to begin. Please help!

Lee.

Hi LeeMills77,

A couple things that stand out to me in this post:

1) Starting jobs with the hope of connecting to people. You may have better results by starting jobs with the hope of paying the bills, saving for retirement, & learning skills to make yourself indispensable in your field. If you connect with people, great, if not, that’s okay too. Some people won’t like you no matter what you do or how hard you try.

2) Your Mother. It’s true (I believe—but I’m no expert), that we are influenced by the behaviors modeled by our caregiver(s) during early development in childhood. But I also believe in neuroplasticity & the ability to overcome. That doesn’t mean it’s easy—it’s not easy. It’s hard work, but it’s better than the alternatives.

One more thing that stood out to me from your previous posts:

Others have suggested professional help, including a full medical checkup. Have you followed through on this advice? Underlying physical conditions are often a contributing factor to poor mental health.

Those are just my own thoughts. If you found them helpful at all, that’s great. If not, that’s okay too.

LeeMills77 wrote:I seem to have a paranoia problem - the same pattery repeats each time.

I start a new job, with the hope of connecting with people. But, over time, I get excluded, I don't have much to say and I start thinking my manager and supervisor are talking about me behind my back and I will be getting dismissed soon. I keep falling into this pattern and I don't want to. I have all these beliefs popping up all the time.

I recall my childhood - my mum was (I'm convinced) is a narcissist and utterly paranoid. She was always saying her ex-partners were always plotting to destroy her. She said this for years and years. She always thought people were talking about her behind her back. I can recall countless times this happened.

Has my paranoia come from this? I can't think where else it has come from?

Also, I often think I should be paranoid because I have failed in many relationships and knowing this was going to happen. I've had jobs when I've been insecure about my position and I have lost my job.

Am I making this come true by thinking about it all the time? I'm nearly 40 and have struggled with this my entire life. I really need to have this sorted but don't know where to begin. Please help!

Lee.

I get paranoid as well and I also believe that my stepmother was/is narcissist. You couldn't laugh in our house without her going on one of her paranoia trips, accusing us of laughing at her. And she was an extremely violent person as well.

I count myself lucky though because Ive been exposed to lots of really good people in my life and I love to take lessons from good people as well.

This doesn't stop me from descending into total chaos though. I have psychosis and paranoia quite bad but I do my best to try and separate the delusions from the reality. Not easy though and it takes up a lot of my time.

I'm determined to not let my mental illness (that's been passed down by abuse) make me walk out of jobs and away from people who are genuinely on my side.

I don't really have much advice other than to offer my own experience.

I wish you well.

Manners73,

It's a good sign that you try to do a reality test against a delusion or psychosis. Doing so can keep you grounded and more aware. Difficult to do, sure, but worth it for your well-being. I wish you the best.

Yeah being constantly at odds with my own brain can be really exhausting.

I usually resolve it by thinking: if this is happening, what are you gonna do about it and is it worth all of this worry?

That helps me turn away from it then. I call it my demon.

"That helps me turn away from it then. I call it my demon."

We all have demons we struggle with. Good for you that you know what they are.