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How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

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How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:59 pm

One way I get in the good graces of Normals is by being a focused heads-down worker. It’s how I avoid having to be social without offending anyone. They just think I am a Hard Worker. In my reality, it’s easier to work hard than it is to socialize. How about you?
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby DamagedGoods4013 » Fri Sep 06, 2019 4:48 pm

I try to avoid being around others as much as possible. (See my list of illnesses as to why.)
Lately, I've also been a lot more moody and sensitive. I tend to "overreact" (as normies would say) about things normies don't care about.

For instance yesterday I went to order lunch thru Doordash and the driver never arrived, claiming my place of business didn't exist. I couldn't reach him via my cell phone. (I don't have a car, and none of the friends I have offer to help me or let me come along when they go out). Doordash was as usual unhelpful. I was beyond angry. My coworkers & friends accused me of overreacting and told me to just calm down and relax. Nobody offered to help, just told me to "let it go." I couldn't make them understand that my circumstances are different from theirs and that they can easily get places I can't. Furthermore, our office wants peace and quiet at all times including lunch and breaks. I ended up sitting at my desk, crying silently, angry and raging inside, while having to make sure I wasn't too loud. :roll:
I eventually decided to leave early. Nobody at work cares about the impact of their actions on me.
I dealt with harsh uncaring supervisors for years, constantly given more and more duties to the point of being overwhelmed, & was constantly told to just be quiet and do the work. I transferred but now I'm dealing with a mentally unbalanced (possible Schizophrenic) coworker who can do whatever he wants because his outbursts and behavior are "documented" on the job and accepted as ok. All my office cares about is getting the work done.
I'm sick of having to be quiet all the time on the job and never make noise because if I do, I'll be told to keep it down, be quiet, etc. I feel like I work in a library. Only 3 more years til I can retire...
My disorders:
ADHD (dx'ed)
AvPD (meet all the criteria and have all symptoms - looking to get dx'ed)
SAD
Possible OCD or mild bipolar
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Sat Sep 07, 2019 4:55 pm

I agree, DamagedGoods4013. I go no contact when possible. Unnecessary interactions open you up to slip-ups. When I do have to interact, I stick to facts.
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby quietgirl2538 » Sun Sep 08, 2019 2:06 pm

I have to take diazepam (valium) for my terrible anxiety. My depression is hard on me, and I have to try so hard to fake being in a good mood for customers. I am told to smile several times. Ugh...!

It's not easy.
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Sun Sep 08, 2019 2:44 pm

I’m also medicated. I’m hoping when/if I do go from volunteer to hire, I’ll be able to have minimal human contact. I also have ideas for working from home, but I only have so much energy & attention before needing a recovery period, so it’s slow going.
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Tue Sep 10, 2019 7:33 pm

I’m asking the questions of others that others ask me. I’ve got a good pattern of this behavior with my immediate better. I don’t initiate it though. The others seem to appreciate my reciprocation & I’m able to gather information.

I Walk Among You.

It’s tiresome though, but everything’s tiresome & it beats the alternatives.
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby quietgirl2538 » Wed Sep 11, 2019 1:42 am

thegentlepath wrote:It’s tiresome though, but everything’s tiresome & it beats the alternatives.


It definitely can get tiresome...
“There’s an Asian expression that ‘a burden shared is halved.’"

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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Tue Sep 24, 2019 8:05 pm

Gotta make the most of that down time. I like to do simple restorative yoga poses: legs up the wall, corpse pose, & child’s pose. Drink chamomile tea. Pet the animals. Read fiction. Binge watch bad reality tv.
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby thegentlepath » Sat Sep 28, 2019 5:18 pm

Expect setbacks. Learn to take constructive criticism. Know your weaknesses. I’m standoffish & weird. I can reframe that as introverted & eccentric rather than trying to fake a different personality altogether. It doesn’t work anyway. Some people won’t like you no matter what. That’s okay.

Play to your strengths. I’m a focused hard worker. Be proactive in your stress management. Expect it to be stressful because it is. Don’t wait until you burn out until you take care of yourself. Practice gratitude. Practice patience with yourself & others. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Ask yourself “What is within my realm of control?” then take responsibility for that & let go of the rest.
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Re: How do you assimilate with Normals at your place of employ?

Postby wheresmyphone » Thu Oct 03, 2019 12:47 am

I work hard. It occupies my mind, and building value in myself as an employee eases my anxiety.
DX: schizotypal p.d
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