Hello, I'm new here. The first thing I'll say is that autism runs in my family. It is suspected that both of my grandmothers were born with it, one of my cousins was diagnosed with it (as well as my brother), and we are pretty sure that my dad and possibly his sister are on the autistic spectrum as well.
Over the last decade or so, it has been suspected that I may be on the autistic spectrum myself, especially since two of the people who seem to understand me the best have aspergers and we experience similar moodiness and difficulty with people at times.
So, with that intro out of the way... okay so I'm not sure if this is the right forum category for this discussion, sooo... if it's wrong, I'd like to ask the mods to please place it in the appropriate area. ^^;
Okay so, over the years... I've found that to some degree, the way I think and process things almost seems to be... computer-like, even though I do experience emotions. To the extent that I will say things that make sense to me, perhaps as the result of much internal processing and analysis, and... it seems to be very easy for me to offend other people, make them angry, and/or hurt their feelings, sometimes more than others.
Now... I'm not sure what I'm looking for here exactly, maybe I'm just curious if anyone else here has had any similar issues, annnnd.... I know this is probably gonna sound like a VERY stupid request, but I guess I was wondering if someone here could explain something to me? Help me understand?
It's on the subject of... itemizing.
Let's say that there is a person in your life who regularly behaves in a way that annoys you and the rest of your family, maybe this person has even hurt your family and this person has refused to acknowledge that they did anything wrong.
The way the logic works in my mind, it should be possible to analyze the entire situation, document the details in some fashion after dissecting and scrutinizing every side and every detail, and then verbally tell the offending party what they have done wrong and how they should change their behavior/attitude accordingly, with the unspoken understanding that an apology from the offender should be automatically forthcoming after the itemized list is presented in its thoroughness.
I once asked a friend why my dad kept his responses to this offending party short and simple, instead of going through everything she had done to hurt us and make us angry, and my friend answered that it is because if he itemized everything, it would just make the other person defend herself harder and it would cause more drama than it was worth.
Soooo.... maybe I'm just trying to process this and get past some sort of mental block here, or maybe I'm hoping that someone can offer some perspective here? ^^;
I mean... To me, it makes perfect sense to sit there and analyze everything that happened, everything that was said, and... I guess when it comes to non-personal things, well... if a computer is glitching up, you fix it. If a floor is dirty, you clean it. If your household needs some things, you organize a list and get what you need at the grocery store.
If you're dealing with an arrogant, pig-headed person who thinks they know best and won't listen to anyone... they get defensive or consider it an attack if you were to confront them or present an itemized list about what was done wrong.
I guess the thing is... I have sometimes been told things like, "If you have a problem with someone, talk to them about it" or even, "if you have a problem with me, talk to me directly", but... the problem with that sometimes is... sometimes, if you TRY to say what you're really thinking or feeling, the drama/reaction you get afterward just isn't worth it. Or in some cases, if you try talking to somebody, you don't really get the resolution or the healing responses that you anticipated or needed.
Though... part of my issues probably have to do with social anxiety and the fact that I am very sensitive and I just don't like dealing with people that much.
So... I guess I was just wondering if anyone here has anything to offer on this subject? Please? ^^;